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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that inverse snobbery is just as unacceptable as the usual kind?

52 replies

StuckinTheMiddlewithYou · 17/04/2011 14:46

As in, bullying people at work for being "posh" (occasionally using words of more than two syllables)?

That is an extreme example I know however I do see many people with such a chip on their sholders that they cannot resist directing at anybody they see as "posh". I find it really very sad.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Nancy66 · 17/04/2011 14:48

yep, it's horrible and happens a lot.

I have a friend who is lovely and very well spoken - she reckons she gets called a 'stuck up cow' or a 'posh bitch' most days.

LessonsinL · 17/04/2011 15:23

Absolutely. I have a very well spoken accent and it is mentioned every day and even imitated by strangers. It has affected my professional life, one business man suggesting that I held my opinions because I went to private school.. odd, as I didn't, I went to a comprehensive like everyone else!

The thing with strangers imitating me is very confusing though. I wouldn't dream of approaching them and taking the piss out of their voices/accents. Maybe I should.

Geistesabwesenheit · 17/04/2011 15:29

IMO these kind of comments are borne out of insecurity. If it's not accent, they'll find something else to mock.

Earlybird · 17/04/2011 15:31

Yes, it exists and yes, it is horrible. I don't know how to stop it/solve it though.

I moved to London from another country for work. Within the first few weeks at the new job, I realised that my work/office wardrobe (while well suited to my former country where a neat and stylish appearance was important professionally) set me apart from my new colleagues.

In my previous life, it was necessary to 'look the part' in order to be respected and trusted with important clients (their thinking: sloppy appearance = sloppy work). None of my new London colleagues dressed the way I did (and I had a foreign accent to boot).

It quickly became apparent I was viewed as 'stuck up' and 'trying too hard'. I 'toned it down' in order to fit in to the culture at my new company.

petitepeach · 17/04/2011 15:32

Its funny isn't how people react to certain accents - I have a Northern accent bordering on geordie but I live in the South, people often comment on it (have had one Mum doing a little Britain moment , sorry,pardon, sorry etc heh heh ) but I find people warm to me more, especially more than my husband who is the son of immigrants but has a very percieved as posh accent (don't know where from!) you can actually see people bristiling at it and he is actually very nice and down to earth!

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 17/04/2011 15:33

Yanbu. Has it happened to you?

cat64 · 17/04/2011 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

carriedababi · 17/04/2011 15:40

yanbu, it pisses me right off

Original poster

StuckinTheMiddlewithYou · 17/04/2011 15:43

It has.

It seems to be one of the last acceptable prejudices.

OP posts:

NinkyNonker · 17/04/2011 15:44

YANBU. I speak very expensively (not my description!) and it has been commented on in many situations. It always appears acceptable to be rude or derogatory in an inverse snobbery kind of way, but totally 'not the done thing' to be a traditional snob...if that makes sense.

AlpinePony · 17/04/2011 16:14

Yanbu - however, as someone else said, it's only the insecurities of others and the crushing weight of chips upon shoulders.

ohhappyday · 17/04/2011 16:22

Couldn't agree more alpine. I would love to have a well spoken accent. It would be a great great compliment to me if people mentioned that I was posh.

Never going to happen though - broad scottish - gets me loads of things in the states though! Americans love it.

was just reading on another thread about the class system etc. This is a problem that we don't have up here - no one gives a hoot.

grovel · 17/04/2011 16:25

ohhappyday, all the posh Scots I've met have spoken with an English accent! Go to Fettes, Glenalmond etc and you'd think you're in Surrey!

Einsteinnolonger · 17/04/2011 16:29

carriedababi Sun 17-Apr-11 15:40:36
yanbu, it pisses me right off

Posh people don't swear on public forums.

ohhappyday · 17/04/2011 16:31

Thanks grovel - love it - you have made me laugh x

SpringFollows · 17/04/2011 16:37

YANBU. I have noticed it too. I am a forriner (so 'class-less') and DH is quite posh. he is treated quite appallingly very often in our regular life as we do not mix salubriously. He does not even notice it anymore half the time, or spends the other hal of the time apologising for himself. There was a thread I was on (I think under this MN nickname, but it may have been under another one) where i described him as a 'public school type' and it immediately attracted sneers.

Anyway listen to BBC radio 4 for 7 days and you will see examples of inverse snobbery by the bucketload.

mayorquimby · 17/04/2011 16:53

I combat it by maintaning a healthy disdain for the poor

NinkyNonker · 17/04/2011 16:54

carriedababi · 17/04/2011 19:33

i never said i was posh, you twat

NormanTebbit · 17/04/2011 19:41

It's the cross you have to bear, I'm afraid.

lazarusb · 17/04/2011 19:44

I hate the word 'posh'. I know some people who think I am arrogant simply because I have a wider vocabulary than them. It's bloody ridiculous, I have found myself subconsciously changing my language and speech in order to make them feel more comfortable in the past. It annoys that I do it.
My dad is well-spoken, my mum is 'normal' but my granddad had a Geordie accent and my nan a french one, they used to get some very nasty, ignorant comments.

Original poster

StuckinTheMiddlewithYou · 17/04/2011 20:12

Don't do it Lazarusb.

I used to dumb-down my speech and I realised that it made me sound like a prat. I feel much better about myself now I've decided that if other people don't like the way I speak, it's their problem not mine!

OP posts:

lazarusb · 18/04/2011 12:46

I know, I hate it. I also think it's quite patronising that I do it (even if I didn't realise it at first). It's all down to other people's preconceptions in the end - if you speak well they assume you think you are better than them. Which isn't true in my case.

LeQueen · 18/04/2011 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TopCatInBoots · 18/04/2011 13:12

My SIL thinks anybody with an education, a career or more than tuppence in the bank is shallow and materialistic. She also has no qualms about telling me this reguarly.

Apparently she is a better person than me because she is poor and on benefits (through choice). She once said to me in all seriousness that a doctor would be less likely to give to charity than someone like her

She would be horrified if I made such sweeping generalisations about everyone who lives on her council estate

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