to think that inverse snobbery is just as unacceptable as the usual kind?

[StuckinTheMiddlewithYou]

As in, bullying people at work for being "posh" (occasionally using words of more than two syllables)?

That is an extreme example I know however I do see many people with such a chip on their sholders that they cannot resist directing at anybody they see as "posh". I find it really very sad.

AIBU?

Well, my neighbour won't let her kids play with mine because my kids 'must be posh as they go to a prep school'

I am a well spoken foreigner too so that's probably doubles her pain!

I am definately not posh, grew up running in dusty roads in Africa!

This thread has struck a chord with me. I am originally from Surrey, but have lived in Yorkshire for over 30 years. I am still considered "posh", (but not in any derogatory manner) just because I don't have a local accent.

Many of my friends here in Devon think I sound posh and take the piss, but when I spend time with my family in London, they think I sound like a country bumpkin. Can't win!

YANBU. I used to get taunted for being posh and stuck up (am from a very ordinary place in Northern Ireland, so it can't have been my accent!) by a guy I worked with. His assessment of my poshness was based on where I had been to uni (Oxbridge). As far as I can tell, it's not a club for poshos only - there are lots of posh people there, of course, but I'm definitely not one of them and nor are the majority of my friends! He used to make a right fuss about it in meetings if I used a long word and accuse me of showing off. Was my first job, so I didn't fight back as I would now.

My DH speaks nicely and has had to put up with all manner of insults because of it.

On the other hand, I used to have a boss who was very well spoken, who, depending on who he was talking to, would change his accent / way of speaking to "fit in".

He was a right wanker.

My PIL have barely spoken to me since I was offered a place at University Apparently I have ideas above my station (nobody in their family has ever been to University).

I can't change my accent even if I wanted to. The plum is well and truly stuck! Did make working in my previous school a little 'interesting'.

But it's not the same, is it?

Because, on the whole, 'posh' people have an excellent standard of living with which to console themselves if they have been on the receiving end of reverse snobbery.

Not saying inverse snobbery is right or acceptable, but it is not the same as snobbery. Not at all.

"I have found myself subconsciously changing my language and speech in order to make them feel more comfortable in the past."

I get proper working class when dealing with labourers or manual workers. Call them "mate" and everything.
Once offered a van driver a "brew" once and everything.

mayorquimby

DH is the same. Worse than 'mate' is saying 'chiz' to taxi drivers instead of thank you.

Much good it will do either of you. His social inferiors regard him as a ponce in a suit. Even if you don't wear a suit they'll see through you.

I dont think most rich people deseve to be admired by poor people.

I think it is usually the poor who help the poor The rich may use the poor as employees or servants.

But I dont think there is ever much genuine mixing between the classes.

CLASSES tend to mix with their own kind, Sort of Income groups of a feather flock together.

I mean if a couple are buying a meal in a posh cafe for £120 ....someone on the minimum wage would harldly be comfortable with them

Its not practical

PS at a school near me, a problem got into the local paper. I asked the young girl why she moved schools. She said it was because the other kids took the mickey out of her all the time. (Thats sad)

Yawn.

You people are really hung up on accents.

YANBU

YANBU, I'm from a VERY working class background with a wide and extensive vocabulary from a young age, I've been bullied in this way.

Somebody who use to bully me at school was upset her daughter was bullied for this as well. The irony did not escape me although my sympathy lies with her daughter.

YouHaveToWatchOutForKarmaTiggaxx

I have been on the receiving end of this ALL my life :)

Didn't help that when I was young I was also quite nice to look at double whammy lol !

While I have been in the US I only get compliments about my RP lol!

My MIL(however) has managed to find a new way to get round this by accusing me of being a snob because I favour white things/shabby chic in my home

It is unkind to tease anyone over their accent or class, whether that's RP and public school or broad Liverpudlian and bog-standard comp.

BUT agree with tethers, wealthier people can console themselves with their power and status. Snobbery against poorer people is worse/has more potential to do real damage.

Mind you, when I was bullied at one school for being 'posh' it really, really hurt. (We'd moved house to an area with a broad accent and I had no idea that putting your hand up in class was suicide.) Although I have the satisfaction of comparing my achievements with those of the bullies, which brings me back to my previous point.

I think quite a lot of people do subconsciously change their accents/ speech patterns. DP is from Yorkshire but he becomes very northern when talking to barmen, plumbers, etc.

I grew up abroad and people often think I am posh () because I don't sound like them, but rather have a generalised 'transatlantic' accent. I often find myself subtly changing my accent just to avoid the inevitable comments....

I am well spoken because my parents made me pronounce all my words correctly. If people mock me about the way i speak it doesn't bother me because i assume that they have an inferiority complex.
My next door is African and is very well spoken, she has told me that when people meet her for the first time they are shocked that she doesn't speak 'street language' and assume that she is talking 'white' (whatever that means)

I think a poor kid would sffer at Eton; unless he played the toff gamme with accents and rugby football

Children bully people who thay perceive as obviously different to them.

Chris Evans got bullied just for ginger hair.

The serious stuff is when A GROUP gang up on an indidual child.

Remember the top boy swimmer. He was bullied out of his school

Schools used to say "we dont have a bullying problem"...In truth they all had; especially the boys schools

It happens in the animal kingdon too.

"Even if you don't wear a suit they'll see through you."
They immediately see straight through me. It's fine though, I play up to my poshness most times because it will either (a) annoy people who already bothered by such things or (b) allow people to realise that just because I sound like a twat doesn't mean I am one. I am in fact a twat for a variety of reasons, none of which is my accent.

I will also regularly refer to myself as 'a man of the people' in my poshest accent properly.

mayor at 'I am in fact a twat for a variety of reasons, none of which is my accent'.

I may store this admission up for future use on a thread where we disagree, you realise... with no reciprocal disclosure of twattery on my own account.