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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thank you cards

39 replies

babypops · 17/04/2011 13:29

Over the past four months I have given numerous (not just one or two) baby gifts and have yet to receive one thank you card. I always send thank you cards as I think it show you really appreciate the gift and you are grateful enough to spend a few minutes writing a quick thank you card. Maybe I am old fashioned I dont know, what do you think?

OP posts:
altinkum · 17/04/2011 13:30

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meditrina · 17/04/2011 13:34

I hate commercialised cards too.

I write thank you letters on any writing paper handy, and have the DCs do so too (or draw a thank you picture when too small to write). It only takes a few minutes and brightens the recipients day so much.

squeakytoy · 17/04/2011 13:38

Have the people you gave gifts to said thankyou verbally? That would be enough for me.

Nanny0gg · 17/04/2011 13:39

It's a small courtesy that takes 5 minutes.

I always appreciate them.

NinkyNonker · 17/04/2011 13:41

A thank you in some form is always polite. Telephone, in person, email, note, carrier pigeon, etc...depending on the recipient.

Bringonthegoat · 17/04/2011 13:45

I'm not into cards - I prefer a call/text or face to face thanks. Cards is making work for yourself/others and they waste paper.

fastedwina · 17/04/2011 13:58

wasn't this done to death only last week.

NinkyNonker · 17/04/2011 14:00

I would never bother with actual thank you cards, I would just do notes it whatever on paper or notelets.

SarkyLady · 17/04/2011 14:10

Lazy fuckers.
Anyone would think they had a new baby to look after.

NinkyNonker · 17/04/2011 14:13

Oh come on, it takes all of 2 mins to drop someone a text, email, note or call to say thank you doesn't it?!

EggsOnLegs · 17/04/2011 14:14

yabu. do you gift to get the glory?

Original poster
babypops · 17/04/2011 14:21

I send thank you cards myself as I think if someone can go out of their way and buy me something then I will send a card or note to say thank you, I sat down after our wedding and hand wrote all my thank you cards, its just the way I am. Many of the people I have given baby gifts to at baby showers havent said thank you in person/phone/text. I was just wondering what was considered the 'norm'

OP posts:
loolooskiptotheloo · 17/04/2011 14:25

oh babypops i read that as you send thank you cards to yourself, i was thinking "that's perhaps a step to far!"

i send thank you cards to people if i wouldn't be reciprocating with a gift... for example at christmas if i buy for a friend and they buy for me i wouldn't give a card, just say thank you, but for friends who don't have children who buy for me and dd, i would give a card from dd.

BrandyAlexander · 17/04/2011 15:44

Do you have kids and if so do you actually remember what it was like those first few months with a newborn or the last few weeks of pregnancy? I would imagine that they were a bit pre-occupied either pre-birth or first 3/4 months post birth. Its not the same as hand writing thank you cards for wedding guests. I did do this but other things to worry about (eg sleep) those first few months. When we had the baptism, then yes I did hand write thank you cards to our guests. YABU.

NinkyNonker · 17/04/2011 15:48

I have a child and wrote cards to the relevant older relatives within a fortnight of getting the gift. Took me 2 mins, I even wrote some whilst breastfeeding. I'm not saying that in a 'check me out' way, just I thought it was a pretty normal thing to do. The younger generation got either an email, or a text, or a quick call.

IAmTheCookieMonster · 17/04/2011 15:52

It took me weeks to get round to doing thank you cards. I did do them eventually, so hold out, they might come in a couple of weeks time. Or not at all because the new parents are rather busy right now.

cat64 · 17/04/2011 15:54

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Original poster
babypops · 17/04/2011 16:05

I appreciate all your replies thank you for your help.

OP posts:
breathing · 17/04/2011 16:08

I wouldnt even think of a thank you card for a baby gift...to give or receive

MsGee · 17/04/2011 16:11

My MIL made me write thank you cards to people I'd never met who sent baby gifts when I had DD. Had I not been struggling with feeding, been on antibiotics and generally in a lot of pain for many weeks after giving birth it might have made it's way to my priority list.

It really annoyed me and I couldn't help feeling that the gift giver would be upset she knew that MIL stood over me with card and pen when I was nearly in tears just forthe sake if appearances.

All my friends and family were happy with text / call / belated thanks when DD became easier.

yama · 17/04/2011 16:17

Very rude to give a gift in order to receive a thank you card. I would rather not recieve a gift from someone who felt like this. Especially if I had just had a baby.

FAB5 · 17/04/2011 16:19

I rarely get thank you cards, sometimes no thank you via a call, text or email either, but always send a proper card and sometimes a text the parcel arrives to let the sender know it has arrived safely.

FAB5 · 17/04/2011 16:22

I doubt very much any gives a present in order to get a thank you card Hmm but basic manners should not be forgotten.

Nancy66 · 17/04/2011 16:25

if the person thanks you at the time then i don't see the need for a card.

think thank you cards are a bit naff actually

cat64 · 17/04/2011 16:36

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