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AIBU?

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Original poster

Thank you cards

39 replies

babypops · 17/04/2011 13:29

Over the past four months I have given numerous (not just one or two) baby gifts and have yet to receive one thank you card. I always send thank you cards as I think it show you really appreciate the gift and you are grateful enough to spend a few minutes writing a quick thank you card. Maybe I am old fashioned I dont know, what do you think?

OP posts:
sausagerollmodel · 17/04/2011 16:44

It's polite to say thankyou for gifts in whatever way sui8ts you best, whether notes, cards, phone calls, email, texts or in person! Personally I don't think cards are necessary.
If someone has had a baby though it's too much to expect them to do thankyous quickly. Be patient and allow them a few weeks to get round to it. They have a lot to cope with having just had a new baby.

fastedwina · 17/04/2011 16:47

MsGee - do you do everything your MIL tells you to do - know it can be a vulnerable time but how can she make you?

NinkyNonker · 17/04/2011 16:51

Exactly, a thank you somehow. Appropriate to both the thanker and the present giver. IE...for grannies and other more old fashioned relatives without regular email or mobile use and you don't see them often, a note (not a specifically bought card, not really a fan) is best. At the other extreme, a FB message or just wait until you see them.

KingCnut · 17/04/2011 16:55

Being a bit miffed because you didn't get a text at some point thanking you for a present, when you weren't there in person- N that U

Being a bit miffed because someone with a newborn doesn't have the time to go and pick a bloody card, find stamps, find addresses and send cards? Very very unreasonable and really quite bizaare.

sausagesandmarmelade · 17/04/2011 17:34

I was brought up to be encouraged to send a thank you card for every gift I received.

That habit has carried on into adult life...

When people have taken the trouble to make the effort to go out and buy a present, have then wrapped it up, lined up in a post office queue to post it..then it's just good manners to send a thank you card.

I like to receive them when I buy a gift for someone...and am always a bit dissapointed when I don't.

sausagesandmarmelade · 17/04/2011 17:35

To add....a posted thank you card isn't essential....a phone call from the recipient would do just as well.

sprinkles77 · 17/04/2011 17:39

I think some sort of thank you should always be sent, a phone call, text or whatever. And fairly soon after the gift was received, definitely within a couple of weeks. It's just good manners, particularly if a gift came by post or via a third party, so that the sender knows for certain that the gift arrived.

SauvignonBlanche · 17/04/2011 17:39

YABU and a bit precious.

sprinkles77 · 17/04/2011 17:41

And actually, before I had DS I went out and bought stamps and post cards so I had them ready, and the people who did get cards in those first few weeks really appreciated their thank yous.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 17/04/2011 17:42

due to illness and other issues (eventually diagnosed as PND) it took me till ds was 4/5 months to get the energy and organisation to buy, write, stamp and send the pile of thank you notes to everyone after his birth.

as far as i know, nobody took offence at the delay and all were understanding. (as they should be with a first born!)

yes mail that is not a bill is lovely to get, but i would be as happy with a text or face to face thanks for anything given/sent, particularly from a new mum.

starlady · 17/04/2011 18:09

Thank you cards are very English. My mum's Irish (and from quite a mc family) and she thinks it's bonkers. German friend was frankly bemused when I asked her about it - they just don't do them. Just say thank you in person.

And don't get me started about children sending thankyou cards to theri schoold friends. What a waste of paper.

However, I do know friends (usually without kids) who get very het up about it.

I did send 2 very late thank you cards to elderly English family members who we don't see on a regular basis.

sausagesandmarmelade · 17/04/2011 18:12

starlady - My Mum's German...and she was very much into Thank You cards.

fastedwina · 17/04/2011 18:16

some people always think their way and their upbringing is the only way for others to think and behave though. Thank you cards were never expected or the norm when I was growing up - a thank you of some kind is polite though.

Sierra19 · 17/04/2011 18:37

YANBU. Someone stated earlier in the thread that those with new babies are busy. Yes, we are. BUT I have just had a baby and received many, many cards and gifts for which I am extremely grateful. Yes I have been busy (and more tired than I thought possible) but I have sent a thank you card to each and every person (about 40 in total). It is just good manners to show that you appreciate the time, money and thought which has gone into the gift.

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