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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

fuming mad!!!!!!! aibu?????????

53 replies

fumingmad · 16/04/2011 16:17

i am fuming!!!!!!!!!
i am 8 months pg and have been slaving away all day making dh a lovely birthday meal
he comes in an hour late -no explination-then procedes to inform me that he is off out with the boys tonight!!!!!! i kick up a fuss then he tells me its been aranged for weeks and that he had told me!!!!!!
No he bloody well did not!!!!!!!!
all i want is a quiet meal and spend theevening with my dh. is this too much to ask????aibu????

OP posts:
sethstarkaddersmackerel · 16/04/2011 16:18

fume away. yanbu.
hope it's something you like eating as well as him.

WereOffToSeeTheWizard · 16/04/2011 16:20

What did you make?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 16/04/2011 16:21

I would be bloody fuming as well.

I don't have any advice though - sorry

PinotGrigioBlush · 16/04/2011 16:23

YANBU.

I'm sorry for you - think the anger is masking genuine disapppointment and upset.

TidyDancer · 16/04/2011 16:24

Are you sure he didn't tell you? If he absolutely didn't tell you, you've a right to be annoyed.

On the other hand, did he know you were making him a meal? He might be thinking this is the last big night out before the baby arrives.

YANBU to be upset, but depending on the above, he probably isn't BU to want a night out either....

FabbyChic · 16/04/2011 16:25

Surely birthdays are spent with your partners, not out on the piss with your friends?

Original poster
fumingmad · 16/04/2011 16:28

he didnt tell me. he is adamant he did. i know he didnt
he is in a shower now and says he is going whether i llike it or not as i was told he would be going out!
grrr
last time i do anything special for him

OP posts:
LadyOfTheManor · 16/04/2011 16:29

YANBU to be angry with him. YABU to use unnecessary punctuation.

TidyDancer · 16/04/2011 16:29

I don't think that necessarily has to be the case Fabby. I think the lack of consideration is what's upsetting the OP (could be wrong), but I don't believe her DH is obligated to just go along with her wishes no matter what. That certainly doesn't absolve him of common courtesy though.

DramaInPyjamas · 16/04/2011 16:30

Hide his shoes

PinotGrigioBlush · 16/04/2011 16:31

I agree with Fabby.

PinotGrigioBlush · 16/04/2011 16:32

I also agree with Drama Grin

TidyDancer · 16/04/2011 16:33

Did he know you were doing something for him tonight? I suspect he didn't, otherwise him wanting to go out would've come up before now.

He could've been nicer regardless though.

Mamaone · 16/04/2011 16:37

yanbu- if he didn't tell you about it. That is just odd and v inconsiderate.
But- can you do both? Nice meal then he goes out later?

Original poster
fumingmad · 16/04/2011 16:40

he says i am being melodramatic and hysterical
i spent the morning shopping and cooking for this meal. no mean feat when heavily pg. we do special meals every occasion and ds is at my mil tonight, he knew this
im so angry that he is adamant i knew that the boys night out was arranged. there is no way he told me this

he goes nights out with the lads all the time, i have no objection to this!!!!!! he knows that

OP posts:
compo · 16/04/2011 16:42

Well it's his birthday and he can choose how he wants to spend it

but not a good sign for the longevity of your relationship tbh

DramaInPyjamas · 16/04/2011 16:43

He sounds like a delight. I would rather spend the evening alone if that's his attitude tbh

worraliberty · 16/04/2011 16:45

You don't sound as though you communicate much

I mean, if he says he mentioned this weeks ago...why have neither of your spoken about his birthday since?

And why didn't you discuss the meal you were making for him?

katkouta · 16/04/2011 16:45

why not compo?

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 16/04/2011 16:45

Why did he think your DS was at your MILs if you knew he was going out?

raindroprhyme · 16/04/2011 16:49

go into labour.

Danthe4th · 16/04/2011 16:51

Invite some of your friends over and have a nice night in, i'll come!!!

saffy85 · 16/04/2011 16:56

YANBU I'd be stringing him up by his balls really cross. If he wanted a night out for his birthday why can't you go? Why can't he go for a boys night out next weekend? What an ungrateful git. Invite some mates round and have a girlie night in.

Original poster
fumingmad · 16/04/2011 16:57

he is not normally like this. tonight has been out of character for him, that is why i am so angry i think. will just eat all the food myself and go in a bath and feel sorry for myself
i cant believe i am sobbing my heart out and on aibu for him!!!! last special meal i make, i tell you!!!!!!!

narky puffin, ds is normally at mil at weekend so dh and i can spend a bit more time together before little one arrives

OP posts:
wobblyweeble82 · 16/04/2011 16:59

IMO if he stayed in now just to appease you, the resentment between the pair of you would make for an icky atmosphere anyhow now. I'm 8 months pregnant too, and if it were my DH's birthday, I'd probably encourage him to go out and have some fun tbh as I'm usually comatosed on the sofa by 9pm most nights, such is my bump-induced lethargy. I completely understand why your fuming, and that the effort you've gone to has been wasted but don't get yourself in too much of a tizz - you know it's not good for you or baby. Just make a mental note of it and cash it in at a later date.

You could also - jsut as he's leaving - do a very big 'Ooooooooh' and grab your tummy. Maybe a couple of times. Just to ruin his evening a touch ;)