Too tired, or just plain lazy?

[Zahora]

I never seem to have any energy for anything. I don't have any medical conditions (had a check-up). Since I've had ds and left work to stay at home, I've become very lazy. I put everything off for another day. I've become a chronic procrastinator. I just give up on the housework before I start. Ironing isn't done in weeks, and clothes only ironed when I need to wear something.

I've gained weight, stopped going to the gym even though I have a gym membership and have the time. Looks have gone a long time ago. My favourite hairstyle is the ponytail and stopped wearing makeup. I now like 'clean skin'...but dodge mirrors.

I would feel so much better if the house was clean and tidy and my clothes all ironed and hanging up nicely. I really never used to be like this while I was at work, and I know I was far busier and had later nights and earlier mornings. How does this happen. Is it really that I'm exhausted or am I just a lazy person?

Am I using motherhood as an excuse to get lazy?

You're showing signs of depression, you're not lazy. How old is ds?

Are you me?

I'm convinced there is something wrong with me as I'm so tired yet do nothing. My DD is 9 months. I have no idea how I'll cope if I go back to work. I don't even shower everyday anymore :(

Oh and I do have depression, but still have to try a way to live my life.

You can have PND for up to 2 years after birth. Could also be fatigue of course but the thing that distinguishes the 2 is a lack of enjoyment in life.

You should be in bed now. I speak from experience! I sometimes stay up late...I am right now...but I know it makes me lazy and tired. Can't you sleep?

Are you sure? Other mums I know seem to share the same experience. Especially about makeup and fluctuating weight. For me ironing seems to have gone out of the window since ds. I stopped ironing when ds was crawling

ds is 4 btw

Yeah I agree with Belle, it sounds like you have depression, you should speak to your GP...I had PND after having DS and had all the same signs as you and just going to speak to someone other than DP was a huge relief, I was given anti-d's for a while and am fine now, just take it one step at a time.

It's about time for yourself...I didn't get any so I ws staying up long after the DC were in bed..just to be alone.

I now have to insist I get a few hours a week...can you do this?

I don't iron, my life's too short. People can be depressed at any age, they used to call it meloncholy. It's also hard work having children though so most mother's are knackered. It doesn't mean you're lazy. Sometimes breaking the cycle can help. It's best to pop and see the GP if you don't want to get out of bed/find no enjoyment in life though.

Same here OP.

Jajas, yes I have about 3 very good friends. I make the effort before they come round or if I go out with them. Sometimes to the point of getting my hair cut days before, waxed, manicured and back to my old self. And sorting clothes out the day before (Only what I'm going to wear) There's a whole room dedicated to unironed clothes now I look forward to friends visiting.... gives me an incentive to get the house cleaned up, and scrub up myself. But most days, I'm just 'lounging'. If people surprise me, they get quite a shock!

I used to live next door to a very clean woman. She used to quiver when she came into my house

You don't have to iron if you use a dryer, just fold them up as soon as they are dry.

It's very hard work running a house and being a mother, if you work as well it's worse. It doesn't mean you're lazy though.

When I was in a psychiatric ward in the 80's, a lady in there was suffering post natal depression and her son was at the time 33. Post natal depression can go on and on if not dealt with early. Some of us though, just get into a rut/get lazy etc...I get low, but I don't think I'm truly depressed. I do know that my mess of a house gets me down though, but can't get the motivation or energy to sort it out. I know I'd feel a whole lot better if I did though. I know why my house is a state and a part of that reason is that I've become lazy (though illness plays a part in the circle too).

I stopped ironing when DS was crawling -he's 30 this year.. .

I don't think I'm depressed. I start the mornings off feeling really fresh and alive...with plans to iron, clean the garage, but then nothing.

You can feel better if you make a plan, something that you can achieve and cross the tasks off as you do them. Being surounded by clutter can be draining.

You sound very much like me when I have days off work. Motherhood is very hard and I've learned over the years that there is much more to life than housework...and there's always tomorrow...

This doesn't sound unusual for a mother of a young child :) You're looking after your DS, it's not surprising that ironing and fancy hairstyles will be on the back burner for a while. There is really nothing wrong with a ponytail, no makeup and not particularly wanting to do the housework. You don't have to be superwoman, in fact you sound a nice normal person to me!

Have you had a look at the Good Housekeeping threads on MN - they might help you take a few steps towards getting more organised if that's what you feel you'd like.

I agree with others- if you are at work/ busy, then things get done. I went on a bit of a go-slow for years when my children were younger, I have to admit. But we moved house, and cleaning out the old house shocked me about how slovenly I had become!! Moving away and kids starting school also meant less time/ opportunity to coffee and gab with my friends.

I am admittedly very sad, but I hate housework, so I made myself a rota - one or two areas a day, a max of an hour and a half, and once I have done it I feel so much better- my free time then seems so much more precious.

I also found if I booked into classes at the gym every week (booking for the next week when I went for the class) it made me go, and that actually made me feel more, rather than less, energised.

Ok, I still am not too hot in the beautification stakes, but I am in the process of starting my own business- 15,000 things to do, a to-do list a mile long, and I am loving the buzz! If you'd asked me 3 years ago, I would never have dreamt I'd have the energy for it- it really does change as the children get older.

Obviously, I don't know if you are depressed or not. But if you don't think you are, sometimes even writing lists and ticking off the things you have done is a great start- makes you feel productive.

Is your ds at school yet? Because that was when I started to take stock! I'm sure you have it in you to be as efficient and productive as you want to be!