To be utterly embarrassed by this Waitrose staff member

[iPhoneDrone]

I welcome all comments because I genuinely don't know if I am being oversensitive or not.

I visited our local waitrose last week with my 3 children and their friend so 4 under 5. They were all very well behaved (after being threatened warned in the car they wouldn't be getting sweets if they didn't), just a normal shop, no incidents and we went home.

I went back today with just the baby (13 mths). And this is the conversation I had with the man on the checkout.

Waitrose Man: You were in here the other day with loads more children weren't you?

Me: Yes, they're with there grandparents today

Waitrose man: (grinning) yes I remember you, I was on the lottery they were being quite naughty

Me: er no they weren't

Waitrose man: Yes they were, you said to the baby 'and you can shut up too'

Me: um no I didn't, I wouldn't tell my baby to shut up.

Waitrose man: Yes you did I was on the lottery over there and heard you

Me: (now bloody embarrassed) I can assure you I haven't and wouldn't tell a baby to shut up.

At this point the other checkout woman turns around and says "are you winding someone up again and he laughs and says 'yes, why not'"

He then says to me "are you sure it wasn't you"

Me: Yes I'm sure

Him: Why, would you be in trouble if you did?

I just ignored him at this point and packed my shopping.

Now would you be embarrassed by this? I can't believe he thought it an appropriate conversation in front of a queue of people.

There is no way I told the baby to shut up He actually had me doubting myself for a while, but I know I didn't.

I feel bloody angry now to be accused of crappy parenting in front of a queue of people.

[Kevinia]

Was it definitely Waitrose? Did you walk into Tesco or Asda by mistake?

[Guitargirl]

Absolutely complain. He sounds totally bonkers.

[iPhoneDrone]

My town begins with C

He was bonkers, thinking about it now I can't believe I didn't tell him to sod off

[astragirl]

Please don't tell me it's in Cambridge iPhoneDrone?

[onceamai]

I'm going against the grain here, I think you need to chill a bit and that he saw you coming. At the first shut up I'd have given him a big grin and said I'll tell you to shut up in a minute and we would have had a bit of a giggle. All the staff in our Waitrose are lovely - the ladies of a certain age tell me about their ailments, the young ones get embarassed when they call the superviser to sell me wine, and the gentlemen of a certain age occasionally tell me I'm gorgeous. Always a pleasure to shop in there.

[PlopPlopPing]

complain

[YusMilady]

Nope. Crap service that makes customers feel uncomfortable is not on. Can't be doing with male staff who enjoy taking the piss out of female customers. Happens all the time and it's a pain in the ass. If you value your job, do it properly or get down the road. I deal with the public every day - if I took the piss out of them I'd be fired. It's not hard.

[sprinkles77]

This is what some people call "teasing". The perpertrators acuse their victims of having "no sense of humour". They are cunts. complain if you can be arsed. Then shop elsewhere. The staff in my local waitrose are horrible.

[MirandaGoshawk]

What a prick. I'd have been angry at this sort of 'joke'. But I'm probably in the 'galss of Chablis and imaginary kick in the balls' camp.

Or maybe you can think of an appropriate wind-up for him??

[TrinityRhino]

definitelly a twat

[YusMilady]

Exactly sprinkles

Fine line between 'teasing' and 'hostile'.

Imagine having to work with this wanker. I bet his (female) coworkers have to suffer his constant unfunny fucking banter all day long.

[TrinityRhino]

I can spell definitely really ...honest

[albusmycat]

Waitrose 'train' staff to engage with customers. Usually it's OK, but some of their employees just don't 'get' the rules.

[nijinsky]

YANBU. I'd have asked if he had Tourette's Syndrome.

[snortwithmirth]

Reminds me of a trip I had to my local Budgens a few years ago, where the old guy on the till (mid to late 60's) with no learning difficulties, proceeded to tell me he was having the following week off for a minor op down below, and that he needed to shave down there and did I want to give him a hand?
I have to say I politely declined.

[Gracie123]

There must be something in the air in supermarkets - I had a really odd checkout assistant today too!!

She did all my shopping normally, then when it was time to pay this happened:

Checkout assisstant: Do you know how Michael is?
Me: Sorry who?
CA: Michael Douglas
Me: I'm not sure I know him
CA: Yes you do. He's married to that welsh woman
Me: The actor??
CA: Yes. Is he okay now?
Me: I'm not sure. I didn't know there was anything wrong with him.
CA: He's got cancer! (In a voice that suggests I'm a heartless cow for not knowing)
Me: Oh. Right. Sorry, I don't know anything about that
CA: [tuts and hands me back my clubcard]



Wierd people...

[Piggles]

He may have genuinely thought he was being funny. Some people might well have found him funny too and been able to laugh along with him. But humor is very personal, and this guys 'humor' it is the kind of humor that can easily cause embarassment - and as I personally can't figure out for sure if the person is joking or being nasty in such a scenario I would have been distressed.

Perhaps I am a bit of a sensitive flower, but you don't expect to basically be heckled by the check out person when you are minding your own business.

I would let management know that I felt uncomfortable with his comments, as regardless of if he has SN or is just a wind up merchant this guy does need to learn what is and what isn't appropriate small talk with customers or he might end up really upsetting someone someday.

Unless he is a serial offender and has been warned countless times before (in which case he should have learned to control his wayward tongue) he would not lose his job over a complaint.

I used to work in customer service, and you have to pitch your chit chat to the individual customer - while preferably sticking to safe topics that are very unlikely to offend. If I'd ever heard any of my staff speaking to a customer like that I'd have had them off the till in a heartbeat for a stern talking to out back.

[proudfoot]

Definitely complain. He is a twat. I would be furious as well.

LOL though at "throne of judgypants"

[Blu]

This thread is starting to demonise him a bt, don't you think?
He was socialising in a way you didn't click with and didn't like.
Not really a crime or sackable offence, surely?
You didn't like it, but it does sound as if you are a bit on the sensitive side.
He's a shop assistant, not a servant to kowtow and not speak until spoken to.

[ThatVikRinA22]

he sounds like a bit of a goober, i would have said something, but want his job for it?? nah...

someone just needs a word in his shell like about appropriate conversation, thats all!

whether he has SN or not, he needs to be spoken to if he is offending people, before someone turns around and tells him to fuck off in front of a queue of people. (if he had caught me on a bad day....!)

id mention it, but not go overboard writing to HO or baying for his job is a bit ott.

why is there never any middle ground on MN?!

[SolarPanel]

Very inappropriate to insult a customer.

[NorthernGobshite]

Complain. He's obviously well known for it by other staff.

[MmeSurvivedLent]

I would complain.

SGM put it really well. He is dealing with customers, so it is part of his job to behave appropriately and not take the piss out of them.

Either he knows that he is being a wanker, and revels in it. In which case he needs a severe dressing down.

Or his has some kind of SN and requires more support and training.

Either way it is in the interest of both the store and future customers to bring this to the attention of the manager.

[GloriaSmut]

Waitrose are enormously hot on customer service and would hate to know that a member of their staff hadn't grasped the difference between good customer service and an inappropriate conversation so do report this. I did similarly when the arsehole unfortunately mannered man on the car park exit assured me I'd "outstayed my welcome and if I catch you doing it again there'll be real grief". As it happens, the clock on their ticket machine was wrong and I was clearly in the right but even if I had gone 5 minutes over the permitted free parking time, this wasn't the way to address the problem. The store manager was horrified, absolutely horrified when I reported the conversation and apologised profusely.

[RevoltingPeasant]

onceamai and Blu, are you for real?

This guy wasn't 'bantering': he was insulting and basically accusing the OP of verbally abusing her child. Telling a baby to shut up in public is verbal abuse.

Telling you you look gorgeous is banter; saying, 'Oh bit early in the morning, eh?' if you do something dim like forget your PIN is banter.

Saying, 'I saw you tell your baby to shut up; yes, I did; it was you' is NOT banter.

I have worked behind counters, bars, as a waitress, and at checkout tills (8 years of student jobs, argh) and I have never, ever spoken to anyone like this. It is totally inappropriate and actually if he does it regularly, then he does deserve to lose his job, sorry.