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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be pissed off at news report on stillbirth.Grrrr

69 replies

pink4ever · 14/04/2011 17:22

Just seen a report on the news that has made me want to kick the fecking tv in. About stillbirths(women lost her daughter at 25 weeks). Mentioned that stillbirths can be caused by smoking,drinking and being over weight in pregnancy. I know this is true but they can also happen to people like me who dont smoke,drink etc(lost 2 babies at 24 and 28 weeks).
Am I bu because this has made me really angry. Women often blame themselves after going through this anyway(well I know I did,felt like a freak and a failure). Please tell me to get a grip.I know that stillbirth is something that needs to be highlighted but its still upsetting.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/04/2011 19:09

YANBU. It makes out like it won't happen to you if you don't smoke or drink and are not overweight.

There was a story today, too, about pancreatic cancer, and a lady saying she was shocked to find out she had cancer as she didn't smoke or drink. Sad Sadly, not smoking and drinking doesn't make one impervious to disease; there are many cancers that are not correlated with any known factors.

lljkk · 14/04/2011 19:11

lol @ Innish for daring to take on Tiktok...

I've heard several reports on the radio today about this stillbirth news, and I didn't hear hardly anything about blaming the women, only faulting medical experts for not carefully reviewing past stillbirths to identify pregnancies at most risk.

Which I did think was a bit unfair, too, because a lot cannot be predicted. I know someone who had a stillbirth due to knot in the umbilical cord. How the heck can you predict that without advocating super unnecessarily interventionist policies ? :(

dionysia · 14/04/2011 19:18

i note that france and Austria had higher stillbirths rates ...

story here

that 12% caused by infections - surely preventable?

pink sorry for your loss.

dearyme · 14/04/2011 19:18

i heard a report earlier

it said there are lots of factors including life style, living in poor areas, being black

but there are also lots of times when there are no obvious causes

its important to raise awareness, i for one had no idea it was so prevalent

dionysia · 14/04/2011 19:20

.by which i mean, why aren't more infections gtting picked up?

i had a crap time getting anti-bs on the weekend for a UTI that could have caused serious problems.

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 14/04/2011 19:28

Correct me but stillbirth is a term baby who doesn't survive. Late miscarriage is what happen before 34(?) weeks.
It doesn't belittle what women suffer, and their grief. But the newspaper again did some quick editing to make the story more "interesting" Hmm

cordyblue · 14/04/2011 19:45

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz Correcting you here. How can you possibly think that??? Still birth is officially the term for babies born or who die after the age in which they are deemed to be able to survive outside the womb. The word "miscarriage", even with 'late' tagged on, is utterly and completely wrong and actually quite offensive. I have had many miscarriages as well, and grieved about them at the time but they are NOTHING to what losing an actual viable pregnancy for no reason. Quite frankly, I never think about my miscarriages at all now nowadays, but my darling baby boy who I gave birth to and held in my arms, and had photographs of, and loved so intensely. HOW DARE YOU CALL THAT A LATE MISCARRIAGE?

bubblecoral · 14/04/2011 19:53

YABU, if you didn't drink or smoke or be obese then the news report wasn't relevant to you. I am sorry for your loss and you are allowed to be unreasonable about things like this.

Sadly it is relevant to some cases of stillbirth, and if it discourages women from doing those things and saves babies lives and women the pain of stillbirth, then ot is worth reporting.

Shakirasma · 14/04/2011 19:54

My friend had a stillbirth. She was very overweight but this had nothing to do with it. She was booked in for induction, baby was moving well overnight but the next day at the hospital they couldn't find the heartbeat. Turns out he had decended overnight, the cord was wrapped around his neck and he was strangled. RIP Baby boy, born asleep at 42 weeks.

My friend has since had a miscarriage and is now nearly 4 months pregnant. Pregancy for her is an endurance challenge not a pleasure.

I hope she hasn't seen this news report, things are hard enough without that.

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 14/04/2011 19:55

Because my brother lost his son to a stillbirth at past 8 months. A 25 weeks baby has a very little chance of survival if it survives it is a miracle, if it doesn't it is a miscarriage. I did say it is the SAME PAIN though!

Shakirasma · 14/04/2011 19:59

Loss of a baby after 24 weeks is stillbirth not a miscarriage, and both the birth and death must be registered.

cordyblue · 14/04/2011 19:59

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz Your facts are wrong. I suggest you read the SANDS website.

CarGirl · 14/04/2011 20:01

I'm posting to promote

countthekicks.org.uk/

Please read this site and educate youself on how to help prevent stillbirth and tell every one you can.

CelebratedMonkey · 14/04/2011 20:02

SchrodingersCat, you are factually incorrect. I suspect you are upsetting a hell of a lot of posters with your assertions.

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 14/04/2011 20:02

Well may I am translating wrong (I am french) there might be some differences there Confused for me stillbirth is when the baby could have survived without any medical interventions.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 14/04/2011 20:03

its linguistics and its not the same in all countries, so don't jump all over someone who understands the terminology differently.

caramelwaffle · 14/04/2011 20:05

SchrodingersCat - a Stillbirth is a 24 week gestation birth (+ death)
The baby may, or may not breathe after labour has occurred, it must be a registered birth/death by law.

Before 24 weeks gestation, it is recorded as a miscarriage and no registration/certificate needs to be legally obtained.

caramelwaffle · 14/04/2011 20:08

(Uk Law)

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 14/04/2011 20:14

To correct a previous post - A stillbirth after 24 weeks (ie a baby that did not breathe) is not registered as a birth/death it is registered as a stillbirth. It's a separate register.

LoopyLoopsNincompoop · 14/04/2011 20:16

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz - being French is no justification for being insensitive. Look how many people on this thread have told of their experiences of stillbirth. You think it is appropriate to make up new rules about what can and can't be considered stillbirth?

My daughter was stillborn at 32 weeks (outside of your 34 week bullshit). Her twin sister was born alive, and is now very healthy and happy. Do you think that, just because DTD2 required medical attention in NICU for a few weeks afterwards, her twin sister's death is any less a stillbirth?

You need to apologise for spouting such insensitive nonsense and either step away from threads where you can upset vulnerable people or change your posting style.

That's me at my most restrained. Angry

frasersmummy · 14/04/2011 20:19

My little boy was stillborn 7 years ago tomorrow and I maintain it was not my fault but the fault of a midwife who couldnt carry out the scan properly

At 32 weeks she didnt get a measurement round Frasers tummy .. therefore she missed the iugr.. and fraser died at 39 weeks and 4 days despite me telling them at 39 weeks and 3 days that he had stopped moving

I always thought stillbirths were something that happened in the dark ages..I had no idea it happened in this day and age till it happened to me

I think its good that its being highglighted again and talked about..people need to know these terrible stats so we can demand something is done about it

frasersmummy · 14/04/2011 20:24

if the baby breathes after labour for a little while and then dies you get a birth and deatch certificate.. thats a neonatal death

If the baby is dead before they are delivered (after 24 weeks) thats a stillbirth and here is no birth or death certificate.. its a certificate of stillbirth

if you add stillbirths and neonatals death together the stats are 17 babies a day in the uk
can you imagine if 17 kids were dying in any other circumstances a day how much panic there would be and the headlines would be lurid

caramelwaffle · 14/04/2011 20:24

Yes. Apologies Registered Stillbirth.

It is...I can not find the word...a strange feeling.

The certificate has a, delete as appropriate, bit that to this day I find...perplexing.

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 14/04/2011 20:29

I do apologized, I did say it didn't belittle the pain. I cry thinking of my nephew and it is not even mine, I can't even imagine what it is like for my brother.

LoopyLoopsNincompoop · 14/04/2011 20:35

Just so you are aware, it is 24 weeks in France too. here

Thanks for the apology though, it is appreciated. Sorry to have been so cross.