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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to fear motorway driving?

86 replies

steben · 14/04/2011 10:26

Has anyone overcome this and if so how? I have been driving for about 2 years and cannot bring myself to go on the motorway - but it is a fear I really want to get over so that I am not restricted in where I can go. A few years ago I witnessed a really bad accident which is where I think a lot of the fear stems from - and I have only really just now built up my confidence to drive locally.

OP posts:

WorzselMummage · 14/04/2011 10:32

You just need to force yourself to do it. motorway driving is the easiest sort :)

My MIL wont drive on the motorways and gets flustered if she has to drive anywhere she hasn't been before. MY granddaughter was in hospital 40 mintes away down the M40 and she couldn't come as she wouldn't drive on the motorway.. i'll be honest with you, i thought it was absolutly pathetic.. she's been Driving for YEARS.

You've only been driving 2 years don't let yourself be like my MIL in 30 years time never going anywhere because you've built motorway driving in to this enormous obstacle.

You could book some motorway driving lessons ?

Or go on a drive with someone really experienced and go on a sunday evening when there isn't much traffic on the road, you'll probably find you find it quite enjoyable :)

WorzselMummage · 14/04/2011 10:32

not MY grandsaughter.. HER granddaughter!

GingerWrath · 14/04/2011 10:33

I was the same but in actual fact motorway driving is really easy. Getting on it is the hardest bit.

I HAD to drive on the motorway as I bought the car about an hour away from where I was living. My sister sat in the passenger seat to offer moral support, and I just bit the bullet and did it!

Now I am quite happy to make the 480 mile round trip to my mother's which is ALL motorway.

Perhaps advanced driving/motorway lessons would help?

Goblinchild · 14/04/2011 10:35

I love motorway driving.
Everyone is going in the same direction, if you are too slow they can overtake, no roundabouts, clear signs, if you miss an exit you just drive on to the next one and turn round, good road surfaces and a host of other reasons why they are easier than A roads.
More accidents happen on A roads.

SusanneLinder · 14/04/2011 10:35

I was like that when I passed my test. Best time to go for it is late evening and take someone with you,or book a motorway lesson.

Now I dunno what the fuss was about,easiest road to drive on,traffic all going same way, and I love them, well apart from the boredom factor.

I have to use motorways to get to work.

MaisyMooCow · 14/04/2011 10:37

You should take a couple of lessons with the local driving school just to build up your confidence for getting on the motorway. Like another poster said, this is the most difficult part if you have no experience or confidence. When you're on there it's easy, just keep you distance, watch your speed and use your mirrors. They'll always be a nutter speeding past in the fast lane but if you stay in the slow lane until your confidence has built up then you will be fine.

Original poster

steben · 14/04/2011 10:46

Thanks - i could go with DH but he is a shocking passenger and as a rule we I dont drive him anywhere as it descends into a row!!! I need to bite the bullet - def do not want to end up like your MIL WorselMummage! I think it is the thought of joining it and slip roads that frigehten me the most - moving over when people join etc..I know I am being pathetic!!!

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 14/04/2011 10:48

You are not being pathetic at all, you are unsure.
Pathetic would be to decide never to drive on motorways, make a right hand turn or do anything remotely tricky.

EricNorthmansMistress · 14/04/2011 10:51

Take a pass plus course - you can do some motorway driving in a dual control car with a nice calm instructor. It's really, really not difficult and just the same as driving on a big dual carriageway. Drive slowly (60-70) , maintain stopping distance and keep as left as possible and you'll be fine!

prettybird · 14/04/2011 10:51

My driving instructor was brilliant: after I passed my test he deliberately got me to drive the "motorway" route back to my work (I'd taken the morning off) so that I see it wasn't such a big deal while he was still in the car with me. :)

(Two days later, I got into a car for the first time on my own and drove from Luton to Manchester - although I avoided the motorways until Stoke)

Who taught you to drive? Could you maybe book a couple of "motorway" lessons?

The longer you leave it, the "bigger" an obstacle it will get.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 14/04/2011 10:53

I would suggest motorway lessons, will definitely help :)

HellonHeels · 14/04/2011 10:53

I was frightened of it too but am fine now. What helped me was:

Having a calm friend next to me

Using a sat nav so I didn't get into a panic about exits, directions etc. and could just concentrate on the driving

Staying in the left lane and not going really fast until I got comfortable with the whole thing

LOTS of practice (this is really the key to gaining confidence)

I didn't have motorway lessons but think they'd be really helpful.

You can do it!!

pinkmagic1 · 14/04/2011 10:54

You really just have to push yourself to do it. The thought of motorways always scared me but the reality isn't nearly as bad. Just bite the bullet and go for it or like others have said, book a motorway lesson with a driving school. You will soon wonder what all the fuss was about!

TheSmallClanger · 14/04/2011 10:56

Get yourself a short course of motorway lessons with an instructor. Don't let your DH do it; that sounds like it could be counter-productive if he is an annoying passenger.

Motorway driving is much, much easier than it's cracked up to be. I find it much less stressful than negotiating town centres, with all their pedestrians, parked cars and distractions. On the motorway, you just drive.

MooMooFarm · 14/04/2011 11:01

You're not pathetic so don't beat yourself up. People have fears and phobias about all sorts of things, all of which could be called 'pathetic' if you look at it that way!

Do you live fairly close to any motorways? I'm thinking if you do, you could get yourself used to it gradually - ie join a motorway and come off at the next exit. Then next time stay until the next exit, etc..... Build it up until you feel comfortable.

I don't mind it on most motorways but I do get flustered on the M25 because its always so fecking busy and the lanes keep changing. I find myself wanting DH to drive whenever we'll be using that motorway, so I'm a bit like you .

justpaddling · 14/04/2011 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrettyCandles · 14/04/2011 11:02

You're not the only one. But you can get over it, and must, really.

Several options:

Take an experienced friend along. Work your way up from major A-roads, so that you can carry the confidence you feel with your df on those roads along with you as you progress to a motorway.

Book some motorway driving lessons (IMO they should be obligatory).

Get some confidence-building, trauma-recovery hypnotherapy.

BTW the first time I drove on a motorway I hyperventilated so badly that my vision was affected. I never liked motorway driving, but did it anyway - mostly in the lh lane! And about 5y ago I had a near-miss on the M4. It was terrifying, but I had to continue driving. And, what's more, I had to drive home that night, in the dark. I was nauseated with nerves, but, again, I did it. It took me months to get over the fear that the near miss left me, but I had to drive. Now I use the motorway, all 3 lanes, with some muttering, but no nerves.

YouaretooniceNOT · 14/04/2011 11:03

The moment i got my first car i headed stright for the M6 North. Zooooom.

PrettyCandles · 14/04/2011 11:04

Definitely don't take your DH!

adamschic · 14/04/2011 11:04

I've always had this fear but do it when I have to. Been driiving 30 yrs! Strangley when I force myself to drive on them I'm a bit of a speed junkie and don't hang about in the slow lane. Always breathe a sigh of relief once I turn off it though.

I live in the country and will go anywhere on back roads, I think it's what you are used to everyday. If you have a short stretch try and go on it daily to get used to it.

rasta · 14/04/2011 11:05

When I passed my test I was fine and a high majority of my driving took place on the motorway. A few years later I had an accident on the motorway which really shook me. I refused to drive on the motorway after that, and tbh, the whole concept of avoiding it sort of festered and became a bigger issue than what it actually was!

I forced myself to do it, and kept doing it, and it does get easier the more you do it I promise.

JaneS · 14/04/2011 11:06

Do not force yourself to do it or go with an 'experienced' friend - unless s/he is also a driving instructor. A friend can't see what you're seeing from the passenger seat and could do you more harm than good.

Original poster

steben · 14/04/2011 11:09

At least your do it MooMooFarm!

Thanks - think will def book a lesson or two (maybe in secret as this would prompt much eye rolling from DP) and we do live right near M1 so would be good idea to go on and come off and just do that - especially to try and confront my added fear of slip roads!

OP posts:

EllAEllO · 14/04/2011 11:10

I'm glad you started this thread.

I passed my test 7 months ago and haven't been on a motorway yet.
I'm not scared of the speed, but I am afraid of joining the motorway, and also am very scared of lorries next to me.

Some really good advice on here, so although it wasn't meant for me, thankyou to everyone who gave it

Steben, good luck, hope you are able to overcome our your fear soon

Renniehorta · 14/04/2011 11:12

I am sometimes quite nervous about driving on a motorway. Other times I'm fine and I think that there are two factors involved. One how often I drive on a motorway and how relaxed I feel.

I live near the A1, which is classified as a motorway in some stretches and not in others. So I often find myself driving on a motorway for part of a journey. I find that this has helped me to feel less het up about being on a motorway, as the transitions are so painless. Do you have a road like that near you, so you can ease yourself into motorway driving?

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