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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel weird that dp's best friend has just called their new dd the same name as our dd?

37 replies

gateacre1 · 13/04/2011 17:06

yes yes I know they have every right to call their baby whatever name they choose.
It just seems really strange to me
Also they always seem to buy whatever things we get eg, same car, same electrical goods ( this doesnt really bother me) His best friends wife always seems to buy the same clothes as me too, so many times I bump into her and she is wearing an outfit she has previously seen me in ( could be coincidence? )

OP posts:

JimmyChooChoo · 13/04/2011 17:12

Just be flattered!You're obviously a cool,beautiful family!
Oh and is the name quite unusual?

Original poster

gateacre1 · 13/04/2011 17:19

My mum said to be flattered too!

not really unusual, just realised she has a friend with a dd of the same name too! I wonder if she will think it is weird too?

OP posts:

peanutbutterkid · 13/04/2011 17:27

Oh, my neighbour does a touch of this type of thing. I buy DS a toy, and she has to go out & get it for her DS. DS gets a BMX face helmet, her DS nags her for one...

I think you take it as flattery. You really don't own a name and one day this incident will be trivial to you.

cocorouge · 13/04/2011 17:30

I wouldn't worry about it - unless it was a really unusual name that you had made up or something. She obviously just really admires you so be magnanomous in your fabulousness (not dyslexic I just can't spell!)

cricketballs · 13/04/2011 17:33

I was really annoyed myself - I named eldest DS adn 2 months ater a frien also named her DS the same name; I was mad as hell! But, when he started school it also turned out that several people also named their DS the same name......

cricketballs · 13/04/2011 17:34

I was really annoyed myself - I named eldest DS adn and 2 months ater after a friend also named her DS the same name; I was mad as hell! But, when he started school it also turned out that several people also named their DS the same name......

sorry about the typos!

Original poster

gateacre1 · 13/04/2011 17:39

I know I know loads of kids will have the same name, but we do spend a fair amount of time with them and our older kids play together so may cause confusion !

Its weird because I would never have thought they would admire us , they are super rich, massive house, she doesnt need to work etc etc ( not that im bitter ha ha!!) and yes it will seem trivial to me one day I agree!

OP posts:

pingu2209 · 13/04/2011 18:08

Yes, I think if they are very close friends then it is weired. Social etiquette means most friends do not name their children the same as yours.

My best friend has 3 sons, by the time her 3rd was born she was running out of names for that she and her dh liked! The one she wanted was my ds2's name but said that she couldn't have 2 of them in the same social circle (unusual name).

To be frank I didn't mind if she named her ds3 the same as my ds2 and said as much but her feeling was it would be weired.

beesimo · 13/04/2011 18:09

I don't think it's trivial I think it's very annoying.

Unless oh dear what if you called your DD your friends dead grannies name which she had already sworn to her own Mam to call her first DD?

chocadoodle · 13/04/2011 18:14

Maybe it was always their favourite name for a girl and always intended to call their daughter by that name if they ever had one. They may not have liked another name anywhere near as much so just went with their favourite.

I wouldn't think about it too much, I know it probably seems a bit odd but they genuinely may not have chosen it to copy you.

As the other stuff, they are just things and if someone chooses the same as you it doesn't really matter. I don't think there's anything sinister about what you've descibed, they obviously just admire your taste.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 13/04/2011 18:20

My two step sisters have a son each with the same name. Now that is weird!

Dozer · 13/04/2011 18:22

Yabu, names do not come with patents.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 13/04/2011 18:39

YABU. They're not family, they might move to the far end of the country next year and you'll never see them again. Why would they not use a name they like?

PlopPlopPing · 13/04/2011 19:02

I agree that it's weird. We had someone in the family who wanted to call their dc the same name as ours. For us it had special meaning but didn't for them so why would they do that?!

YANBU

fedupofnamechanging · 13/04/2011 19:06

I think it depends on the name. If it's something quite unusual, then it would annoy me that they hadn't bothered to think of their own name and had just nicked mine. If it is one of the names in the top 10, then you have less of a claim imo.

What is the name?

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 13/04/2011 19:08

You know what you do? You say "Oh, how lovely that you named your daughter X too. She can be "Little X" or "X2" It's such a lovely name, isn't it? It suits our X so much. It's lovely she's going to have a little namesake."

That'll piss 'em right off.

hairfullofsnakes · 13/04/2011 19:09

I was going to say yabu but then I read your whole post about the whole copying thing - do you really want to be friends with someone ho copies everything you do?! She sounds terribly insecure and that's a shame but so much copying would bug the hell out of me!

YouaretooniceNOT · 13/04/2011 19:09

Not wierd..maybe the fact that she buys similar clothes, electrical goods is nothing to worry about either. If i had the same kettle as you what would you accuse me of?

fastedwina · 13/04/2011 19:10

i became friends with a girl when we were pregnant. Told her the name we liked and she had baby first and named her child 'our name'. I was a bit and thought we'd have to pick a different one or it would be weird or look like we copied them even though I'd always had this name in mind. She probably had the same name in mind as well but hadn't told me. So we ended up with *1 and **2. She moved away a year later and i never say her again so glad I stuck with the name I wanted.

YouaretooniceNOT · 13/04/2011 19:12

My next door but one neighbour that was my babysitter had a baby boy and named him the same name as my son. She asked me if i minded! Silly billy!

Prunnhilda · 13/04/2011 19:14

Maybe they have a healthy realism about the friendship and figure you won't all be friends forever, it's a nice name (ditto nice kettle etc) so what the hell?

(Lots of people have similar clothes, it's hard to be original. Disregard comment if you are not shopping on the high st.)

YouaretooniceNOT · 13/04/2011 19:18

figure you won't all be friends forever - that is what i wanted to write but feared i might upset OP...silly i am

Original poster

gateacre1 · 13/04/2011 19:26

Prunnhilda my dp and her dp have been best friends for nearly 20 years so it would be a shame if they felt they wont be friends in the future and that therefore it doesnt matter if both have kids with the same name.

Maybe she has always liked the name and I have no claim to it obviously

Hectate I like your idea, my dd is 3, so we will nickname their dd mini*

clearly we have excellent taste and they are short of ideas

OP posts:

Prunnhilda · 13/04/2011 19:28

Ah well if it's such a strong friendship, it is a bit weird - but as you say, maybe she's had it on her list forever and really wobbled her bottom lip when your dd came along.

oliviafrombolivia · 13/04/2011 19:30

A friend of mine named her daughter the same as my daughter, both first and middle name!

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