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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why mums out in pairs with pushchairs don't move out of the way for oncoming pedestrians?

56 replies

marvinmonkey · 13/04/2011 16:53

If I'm out and about walking in the street, walking towards me, occasionally I encounter a pair of mums with pushchairs walking side by side. I find that more often than not these mums won't move willingly to allow me to pass. I have no desire to walk on the road to get past them. I'm sure if these mums didn't have pushchairs and were out walking, one of them would naturally move in a bit - so, rather like roadrage, what is it with owning the pavement? Are these particular pushchair owners thinking they're still behind the wheel of their X5 or M-Class?

OP posts:

fastedwina · 13/04/2011 19:12

It is annoying but not just mums - often get 2 or 3 folk walking taking up the pavement and expecting you to sidestep round them. Tempted to just barge my way through and have sort of done a few times.

oldraver · 13/04/2011 19:15

A few weeks a go b/f had to swerve as one was in the road presumably so she could natter with her friend and there wasnt enough room on the pavement for two

He slowed down but didn't expect her to carry on in the road

mitochondria · 13/04/2011 20:19

Hecate - I think you must live near me. They have a special type of horse here, I think, that can't go one behind the other.

ConfessionsOfAnAchingFanjo · 13/04/2011 21:15

I often encounter the opposite. When out with the pushchair (alone, so not hogging the whole footpath) groups of people will walk 2 or more abreast across the pathway and not move. I can't swerve onto the road with a pushchair!

Mind you I've also noticed people around here won''t move into single file to let others pass when there are no pushchairs to factor in either. So flippen rude.

I do feel bad when DS(3) doesn't pay attention to me and runs all over the footpath so that people nearly trip on him, but I get really mad when people deliberately walk in front of him so that he loses sight of me (and me him). He gets frightened and could so easily get seperated and lost properly. It's not hard to see me turned around with my arm out to him saying hurry up/over here.. and therefore not barge right between us

NellieForbush · 13/04/2011 21:21

Its not necessarily women or people with prams, its people in twos. They become oblivious to other pavement users or covertly glance at other pedestrians but continue regardless, on the basis that they are mid conversation and have some unwritten priority.

Still not as bad as the twats who park their cars on the pavements.

cocoachannel · 13/04/2011 21:27

I have had two older children on those scooter things bang into my buggy today. One of whom charged by as I stood aside to let an older lady past as we came up to lamppost. I turned to see if the mother would call to the child but she barged past too. Nice.

MissBetsyTrotwood · 13/04/2011 21:29

I saw a funny video about this once - by Helen someone about living in Stoke Newington N. London. Will have to dig it out.

blackeyedsusan · 13/04/2011 21:49

yes it is idifficult to steer a fully laden pushchair, but walking sideby side and taking up the whole pavement is just rude... round here you are lucky to get 1 pushchair on the pavement, neverrmind 2

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 14/04/2011 06:43

pushchairs must have changed since my children were babies because I used to have no problem steering it. And after the birth of number 2, it was one of those side by side doubles. I don't know what they've done to pushchairs in the last 10 years to make them so hard to manoeuvre!

beanlet · 14/04/2011 07:55

Yep, very annoying - but I'm a hater of double buggies too.

I stiil think YAB a little bit U - are you expecting one of the mummies to push her baby ON THE ROAD to let you past?! On narrow pavements I might pull to the side and wait to let someone past, but no bloody way am I pushing a vulnerable little baby onto the road to accomadate a huge adult person perfectly capable of fending for themselves.

beanlet · 14/04/2011 07:56

Ahem... accomOdate. Or should that be 2 Ms?

hester · 14/04/2011 08:02

No beanlet, she's expecting one of the mums to pull in behind her mate for a minute, so oncoming traffic can get past. Quite right too.

Having said which, I have been off work with 3 kids (one in the buggy, 2 on scooters) all week and have been painfully aware of how often we get in people's way. With one scootering child, you can insist that if they're not being observant of other people they have to hold onto the buggy. With two, if you try that you instantly become a behemoth that takes over the entire pavement. So apologies, fellow residents of my genteel suburb. But at least I have the grace to feel ashamed.

Animation · 14/04/2011 08:06

The way I see it mothers with prams have a lot on their plate and they have priority. I remember what that felt like to be pushing prams and I feel quite relieved to be over that stage and not carrying around dependents.

Therefore I'm VERY happy to negotiate around prams

Dougalstrops · 14/04/2011 08:24

YANBU. This happens to me all the time! Not just prams....all sorts of rude people.

It's almost as annoying as holding a door for the person behind you, for them to just saunter through without taking the door, and without even acknowledging your presence. Do I look like a doorman? Arghhh.

christine34 · 14/04/2011 08:34

Yes, have to agree is VERY annoying.... if I am on my own, I am quite "happy" to move out of the way as long as it doesn't mean stepping into the road (why should I?), and I would definitely not let my DCs move into the road if they can move one of the buggys, no way. I would ,however, be happy to go around them if there were room! It's just manners really. I have in the past just stood absolutely dead still and then they have no option but to go around me!!!! I will always move to the outside of the pavement, by the road, if I see a child coming, as I feel it's better for me to be nearer the road, obviously.

TandB · 14/04/2011 08:59

This drives me insane. I have to negotiate a busy high street in south-west London regularly when I am working up in London. This is probably the busiest shopping street in the area and the pavements aren't wider than average, and yet it is full of pairs of mums and buggies who are apparently incapable of being separated. I sometimes think of asking them if they are glued together. It is a busy enough street that it is simply impractical for them to walk side-by-side at all - it is not even a question of dropping into single file every now and again - it's too busy.

My friend and I used to spend most of our time in the area when we were on maternity leave. Even with a sling and a pram between us we always walked in single file until we had got off the main street because we aren't entirely self-involved.

I'm afraid I have no intention of jumping into a busy road simply so that two people can carry on a conversation which is what it comes down to. There is nothing intrinsic to buggy users that require them to walk in pairs - they just want to.

I had a stand-off with a buggy-pair the other day. I was carrying DS on my back and pulling a case full of work files and carrying his nursery bag. Two buggies came the other way and stopped right at my feet, glaring at me and clearly expecting me to drag myself, my case and my child into the bus-lane so that they could pass side-by-side. I stood and smiled politely at them until one eventually tutted and sighed and dragged her buggy behind the other one and stomped off muttering something about "so selfish".

Selfish? Really?

SolarPanel · 14/04/2011 09:17

I see this with people walking in twos/threes all the time, taking up the whole pavement. Was beginning to think I was invisible but now see it happens to others too!

chandellina · 14/04/2011 10:02

i would always move out of the way if i were one of the buggy-pushers. and i'd say something if i was the pedestrian and they were rudely not making way.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 14/04/2011 10:05

I stop...I have a very bad back and cannot move the pram easily.

Original poster

marvinmonkey · 14/04/2011 10:37

I just can't believe so many people have a view on this! I thought it was just me and that I would be the one appearing rude wondering why these people do it. But thank you everyone for your comments, it's interesting reading. Yesterday, I came across a new experience walking past the local nursery - parents blocking the pavement to peer in the window to admire their child and wave at it, even though they then walked round the corner to collect them! It seems anyone will block the pavement for any reason!

OP posts:

Original poster

marvinmonkey · 14/04/2011 10:43

@Animation - sorry, but I completely disagree with you here. I have a lot on my plate too, I'm just not pushing it around in front of me. Why does someone with a pram have priority? Roads have priorities - not pavements! We're all equally entitled to walk there without having to barge or try and get past.

OP posts:

BalloonSlayer · 14/04/2011 10:46

Haven't really noticed this but then I have still got a BIG pushchair.

I would like to borrow the air-horn to use in the supermarket for the old couples who need to discuss their intended week's menu in depth, while both they and their trolley stand in front of the shelf, before putting anything in the trolley.

Or the old boy the other week with his trolley parked next to the grapes, blocking them off from everyone else while he stood gazing and gazing at his punnet of grapes for an eternity. Perhaps he was counting them.
I would have loved to have the airhorn < paaaaaarp > "They are grapes! GRAPES! Put them in your trolley and move on or put them back and move on. Please."

JaneS · 14/04/2011 10:47

Oh, god, Hecate, horses riding double and doing the regal wave thing drive me nuts!

My mum - who is a little bit crazy - used to stop her car and yell at them because we live in the country and you'd find idiots who'd go two-abreast round blind bends. Especially prevalent with people who couldn't be bothered to teach their children to ride safely, so would insist 'I have to ride double with little Sophie, she's just learning and can't control the pony on her own'.

Original poster

marvinmonkey · 14/04/2011 10:51

yeah, too right balloonslayer - never mind the mass of dumped trolleys in the middle of the aisle when the owner wanders off to pick up their yogurts or something. Makes life almost impossible, especially if you've got a buggy in front of you, basket in one hand....no consideration at times!

OP posts:

PunkPixie · 14/04/2011 10:55

YANBU. I push a double buggy and I'm half blind so I have to constantly be on watch for potential dangers and obsticles and that mostly involves moving out of people's way if I'm taking up lots of room. If it's a narrow path there isn't a lot I can do but if I can move I will move. Having a double buggy does not mean I own the walkways.

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