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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have shouted at a stranger's child?

61 replies

wannaBe · 13/04/2011 16:17

I have been at a leisure centre this morning while my ds played tennis (one of these holiday type activities). Guide dog lying on the floor next to me doing nothing...

There were lots of people with other younger children there. Anyway a toddler (I would say about three) came over and I heard him running back to his mother saying that the dog had licked him, she laughed and found it cute/amusing. Heard something behind me and dog stirred, so I reached down only to find this child trying to stick his fingers in the dog's mouth. I turned around and said somewhat sharply "now leave the dog alone." at which point the child ran off back to his mum who said nothing.

Now, I don't mind children talking to my dog, but IMO the same rules should apply as pet dogs i.e. you ask before stroking a strange dog.

secondly, if my dog had bitten that child, it would have been perceived to be the dog's fault, and at the very least he would immediately have been withdrawn as a guide dog, and possibly been destroyed given the potential public outcry.

And just to add (as I know how these threads go) the mother was way over the other side of the room, so no way I could have said to her to get her child away - much quicker to address the child. But she knew the child was harassing the dog and did nothing.

OP posts:

UrsulaBuffay · 13/04/2011 16:19

Not unreasonable imo, you shouted for the child's own safety.

Eglu · 13/04/2011 16:19

YANBU! The mother should teach the child how to act around animals. She should also have taught the child that your dog is working so not to be disturbed.

ashamedandconfused · 13/04/2011 16:20

kids mother is an idiot

YANBU

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 13/04/2011 16:20

I would have done the same.

Not the child's fault of course, but the parent. How stupid do you have to be to allow your child to mess around with a dog? Either she thought it would be ok because the dog is a guide dog, or she didn't think at all.

Either way, your dog is not a toy. The mother was an inconsiderate, thoughtless nit.

TaudrieTattoo · 13/04/2011 16:20

Not unreasonable. Better you warn the child off sharply than the dog - because when that happens, everybody panics.

You were in the right.

littleducks · 13/04/2011 16:20

YANBU at all.

Totally the mums fault

GypsyMoth · 13/04/2011 16:20

did you shout at the child or just speak sharply?

the mother was wrong,absolutely. you did the right thing and you got the right outcome too it seems

monkeyjamtart · 13/04/2011 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 13/04/2011 16:21

YANBU

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 13/04/2011 16:21

`YANBU, I once got shouted at by a mum because i'd shouted at her child in a cafe. he'd collided with me as I was carrying drinks and to prevent him getting burnt ended up with singed boobs.

parently it was her job to discipline him

Goblinchild · 13/04/2011 16:21

YANBU, that mother needs a warning about teaching her son not to approach dogs he hasn't asked the owner about.
Even more important when it's a guide dog, they need to concentrate when they are out and about. Even I know that.

Itsjustafleshwound · 13/04/2011 16:22

YANBU - toddlers need to be taught manners and told what to do around pets and animals.

Ephiny · 13/04/2011 16:23

YANBU, the mother should not have been letting her child bother your dog.

BeaMoaning · 13/04/2011 16:24

Mum's fault not yours. My dc know you don't touch a dog you don't know and you defintely don't go bugging working dogs.

Original poster

wannaBe · 13/04/2011 16:25

dragon tbh I'm not sure because it was an instant reaction to addres the child and it was only after that it hit me that perhaps I'd shouted a bit too harshly.

tbh, the dog was lying there doing not much so distraction wasn't too big a concern at the time, but a child sticking his fingers into even the most docile dog's mouth could be a recipe for disaster - even if the dog had just closed his mouth not intending to bite it could upset a toddler.

OP posts:

2littlegreenmonkeys · 13/04/2011 16:30

YANBU at all.

The child's parents should teach the child not to touch any dog, without the express permission of the owner. We have 2 dogs and I really dislike it when children come running up to my dogs (while on lead) and try to play with them. I know my dogs would be fine with other peoples DC but other people don't know that. Plus I know also that my dogs are still dogs and can still turn if they felt threatened as can any dog.

Incidentally my eldest DD is 3 years and 5 mo and she has been taught, from as soon as she was able to understand, that she must ask the owner or DH or myself (or the adult with her) if she wanted to stoke an unknown dog. She has also been taught and understands that a guide dog (she calls them eye doggies) or a hearing dog for the deaf or ANY dog that has a bright jacket on is not to be disturbed when walking or sitting up, but to ask the owner when the dog is laying down if she is okay to stoke it.

2littlegreenmonkeys · 13/04/2011 16:33

stroke not stoke, obviously no one would want to stoke a dog

Ephiny · 13/04/2011 16:34

I still think you did the right thing - maybe it seems a bit harsh as the boy presumably was only little and didn't know any better, but hopefully it'll stop him doing a similar thing again! Being shouted at is a lot better than being bitten IMO.

ForeverNamechanging · 13/04/2011 16:36

YANBU. A man on our road has a helper dog and all the kids no not to touch it or call it over while its got its red coat on.
Actually they know not to touchy ANY dog without asking the owner first

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 13/04/2011 16:40

YANBU. You reacted instinctively.

mistlethrush · 13/04/2011 16:50

I have had stern words with a child who, whilst waiting at a market stall, was making attempts to stamp on my (common or garden, not working) dog's tail (she was sitting nicely out of the way, minding her own business) - luckily her tail had gone down between two cobblestones - the father - who was holding said child's hand didn't say anything. I was

You need to act quickly to stop this sort of behaviour which could result in the child being hurt - so, no, I also agree that you are nbu

TheMonster · 13/04/2011 16:52

YANBU at all.

newpup · 13/04/2011 17:04

I have a lovely yellow lab, gentle, good with children etc. However I am amazed by the number of parents who allow their children to run up and touch, poke, whack my dog!

I always stop them and say she is friendly but you should ask first. Alot of parents look astounded. I am not sure if it because of her breed they assume she is safe, which she is, but how on earth would they know that?

I was always taught as a child to ask first and offer the dog a sniff of the back of my hand first. How daft must you be to allow your child to just approach a strange dog!

You are definately not being unreasonable.

Toughasoldboots · 13/04/2011 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/04/2011 17:09

Absolutely not being unreasonable. I don't expect the mother will have learned a lesson if she's that absent a parent in the first place. Unbelieveable, particularly given that dogs attacking children seems to be in the news so often.

I don't encourage children near my dogs, not because I don't trust my dogs - I do - but I don't trust children.

I'll never forget reading an article where a family dog (German Shepherd) was put down because it snapped at one of the children in the family. The vet did an autopsy and found a pencil stub wedged in the dog's ear. Shameful.

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