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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have shouted at a stranger's child?

61 replies

wannaBe · 13/04/2011 16:17

I have been at a leisure centre this morning while my ds played tennis (one of these holiday type activities). Guide dog lying on the floor next to me doing nothing...

There were lots of people with other younger children there. Anyway a toddler (I would say about three) came over and I heard him running back to his mother saying that the dog had licked him, she laughed and found it cute/amusing. Heard something behind me and dog stirred, so I reached down only to find this child trying to stick his fingers in the dog's mouth. I turned around and said somewhat sharply "now leave the dog alone." at which point the child ran off back to his mum who said nothing.

Now, I don't mind children talking to my dog, but IMO the same rules should apply as pet dogs i.e. you ask before stroking a strange dog.

secondly, if my dog had bitten that child, it would have been perceived to be the dog's fault, and at the very least he would immediately have been withdrawn as a guide dog, and possibly been destroyed given the potential public outcry.

And just to add (as I know how these threads go) the mother was way over the other side of the room, so no way I could have said to her to get her child away - much quicker to address the child. But she knew the child was harassing the dog and did nothing.

OP posts:
Gafasipo · 13/04/2011 17:09

YANBU.

As a side note, I don't think dogs should ever be Murdered.

Vallhala · 13/04/2011 17:10

YANBU and the mother is a bloody idiot. No dog should be touched by a child as yours was and no working dog should be distracted without the owner's permission. I would doubtless shouted far louder and less nicely than you did!

Poor dog, had he bitten he would have been to blame and, as you say, it could have cost him his life.

Vallhala · 13/04/2011 17:11

Lyin, that's a tragic story, how utterly heartbreaking. :(

I feel as you do... it's children I don't trust, not my dogs.

YouaretooniceNOT · 13/04/2011 17:12

YADNBU!

dawntigga · 13/04/2011 17:12

YANBU The Cub isn't even 2 and I'm teaching him what to do when he see's a dog.

ShakesHeadTiggaxx

bellavita · 13/04/2011 17:15

YANBU.

Vallhala · 13/04/2011 17:18

In view of the tales of children stamping on dogs' tails, throwing stones at ducks and hit spaniels with wooden swords I must say that you ladies who witnessed these things were incredibly well restrained.

I'd have gione apeshit at the children concerned, absolutely apeshit. Angry

Melly19MummyToBe · 13/04/2011 17:25

YADNBU! My MIL has 2 spaniels, both absolutely adorable looking, 1 is only a pup, they took him off DPs B and SIL, because they wern't treating him right. Their older dog Storm, he's 5 and a half (pic of him on profile), absolutely hates strangers and because of the way my DPs younger brother has treated him he is incredibly vicious to people he doesn't know. They regularly take them out on walks, but they don't muzzle Storm. For the record, Storm has a love/hate relationship with small children, depending on what mood he is in he will snarl/snap if provoked (which can just be a small child coming up to him) or he will pounce on them and hump them. He is just the sort of dog you think "OMG that dog is GORGEOUS!" And you want to go and give him a cuddle. I only think it's a matter of time before someone does do that before anyone can say anything and they get bitten.

Wow, I didn't mean to write such a long post, sorry :o

Melly19MummyToBe · 13/04/2011 17:27

Or anyone he doesn't know coming up to him can provoke him.

RevoltingPeasant · 13/04/2011 17:35

OP, definitely YANBU, but did you go up and say something to the mum? Might've taught HER a valuable lesson!!

I always worry about this with my mum's dog, as her incredibly cheeky neighbours let their son climb over her fence to retrieve balls etc. Needless to say the dog goes beserk to find someone climbing over 'her' fence.

I have this horrible feeling one day she will bite and then neighbours will be baying for her blood :(

The story about the GS is really heartbreaking, that poor animal. Imagine being the parent/ owner...

Vallhala · 13/04/2011 17:38

"The story about the GS is really heartbreaking, that poor animal. Imagine being the parent/ owner..."

I can't imagine being the parent/owner because I would never have taken my dog to be killed in the first place.

FAB5 · 13/04/2011 17:39

YWNBU.

My children know not to touch any animal we don't know but if I remind them in the owner's hearing I have been given an filthy look.

LDNmummy · 13/04/2011 17:50

I hate when children do this to other people's dogs for exactly the reasons OP has stated. Sometimes you get children running and screaming from dogs that are quietly doing their own thing, and when the dog starts to get worked up and barks or playfully runs with the child, parent's act like the dog is some sort of threat. Parent's should educate their children on how to behave with other people's animals. YANBU

ToffeePenny · 13/04/2011 17:52

I'm going to put my neck on the block here and suggest that YABateenyweenybitU a word with both the child and the mum about how important it is not to disturb dogs when they are working would have been a better approach than just snapping at a tot.

Many people (not just DC) do not realise this is so important and just see a helpful dog (who, they assume, must therefore be kind and gentle*) and go in for a stroke without thinking. When they get snapped at by the handler they come away feeling that the lovely dog is saddled with a horrible person.

Many guide dogs are provided by charities who have to try hard to raise money, increasingly hard these days. By educating to ensure people really respect what the dog does it is more likely that these charities will have greater success.

I've had a similar issue with working ToffeeMutts at trials (border collies so cute and fluffy). Takes longer to explain than to snap but that's part and parcel of ownership.

Obviously anyone deliberately hurting a dog should be given a kick in the pants short shrift

*I blame Disney for this

Avantia · 13/04/2011 17:58

I think when a child is about to stick fingers in a dogs mouth a sharp word is wholey appropriate . Its a sharp warning , if the OP had waited to 'educate' the mother and child it may have been too late .

KatieWatie · 13/04/2011 17:59

Don't give it another thought - you did exactly the right thing and the mother should be more alert to her child playing with strange dogs (particularly working ones!)

ChristinedePizan · 13/04/2011 18:03

toffeepenny IIRC the OP is blind - is she supposed to wander around asking people whose child approached her dog? Hmm

redvelvetmooncupcake · 13/04/2011 18:03

YANBU

I bollocked had a polite word with my neighbour's kid as he was ragging his poor pet dog up and down the road and shouting in her face. She is a lovely soft thing but the way he was treating her was not on. I told him she'd bite him if he carried on winding her up and then she'd have to be put down and it'd be his fault! He is old enough to know better (about 10) and he copped on and took her in the garden. His dad was out and it was his dad's teenage girlfriend letting him "play" with the dog, I've never seen him be anything but great with the dog when his dad is there.

The dog is of a type which tends to invite "devil dog" headlines and I thought it would be so unfair if she'd snapped at him and paid a heavy price.

bemybebe · 13/04/2011 18:07

Yanbu at all. Hugs to your dog.

thejaffacakesareonme · 13/04/2011 18:08

YANBU. I'd have probably yelled a lot louder than you. I'd have also asked the parent to come and fetch the child before she did something else.

ToffeePenny · 13/04/2011 18:09

Just to clarify - I wasn't suggesting the OP should not have snapped to stop the child from sticking its fingers in the dog's mouth. At that point it was necessary to prevent possible harm. But snapping alone will not prevent it from happening in future, and perhaps next time with a less reliable dog.

As everyone here suggests it should be for the parents to educate their children about how to behave around animals - this parent showed no sign of knowing herself so a kind word would have been good.

Melly19MummyToBe · 13/04/2011 18:10

Oooooh I hate people (usually children who are old enough to know better) who think it's ok to hurt dogs just because they can. I don't know if anyone else can, but I remember a couple of years ago in the news, think it was in The Sun? there was this 12 yo girl who used to walk this old mans springer spaniel, and she was caught on camera in a field, lead in hand, standing on the dogs tail and kicking it in the face. Apparantly this was a girl who loved all animals and wanted to be a vet Hmm

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/04/2011 18:10

Valhalla and Revolting Peasant... It must have been abou 20 years ago and I can't remember which magazine it was in but I remember our vet talking about it also. You'll be very sad to hear that the mother didn't care and wouldn't hear a word said about her children. It was the vet who was unhappy and did the autopsy. :(

I'll never trust a child with a dog, it's not fair to the dog.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/04/2011 18:12

Melly... That is disgraceful. I would feel vile towards the child because that's just unspeakably cruel. Angry

ToffeePenny · 13/04/2011 18:14

apols - only noticed the last bit about the mother being so far away. Had assumed she was much nearer as you were within earshot.

YWNBU

IABU (for not reading everything in full - d'oh)

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