AIBU to use a sperm donor at 37, am i too old?

[YouaretooniceNOT]

I just want your opinions please.

i know i'm daft as a brush x

I'm sure you do work hard, but if you are a 22 year old on a teacher's salary with 2 children as a single mother and no maintenance from a father because the 'father' lives in a turkey baster then there is no way you are not needing state financial help of any sort. Sorry there just isn't. Why can't you just bide your time, like sensible responsible people? And if you already have a 7 month old and you are only 22 I'd love to know how much qualified teaching you've actually done.

And yes, OP, sorry to hijack your thread but I just couldn't NOT challenge that.

And your comment 'why can't I have....' speaks volumes. it's all ME ME ME. now, now now. Grow up.

With all due respect newbabynewmum, it might be wise to wait until you've combined having a baby and working before you plan number two as a single mum!! Your little one is only 7 months so you're still on maternity leave...and the early years as a newly qualified teacher can be draining.

Iloveshandy I hope your post makes newmum think a bit as well - because most people who go down the donor route do so because they are childless, running out of time, or have no other viable choices. It is not to be undertaken lightly.

How can you be a maths teacher at 22?

In fairness, I did a 5 year degree, then 1 year PGCE and teaching FT at 23... If she did 3 year degree, 1 year PGCE, it's entirely possible.

I don't think your age is a problem - our bodies are built to reproduce at a later age that this (my family has a history of having accidents in their 40s and a friend had her first at 46). I would be more concerned about the donor thing but I'm guessing you've thought long and hard about that and if you really think you can do it then I wish you good luck.

I was a fully qualified secondary English teacher at 22. In Scotland you could leave school at 17, do a 3 year degree, 1 year pgce and still have time for maternity leave if you were towards the end of being 22.

It is not really the issue though. Sorry op.

If you are emotionally and financially able to do this, go for it. It will be bloody hard, the conception, the pregnancy and the child rearing but if it makes you happy and you are able to do a good job, why not? Many kids come into the world totally unplanned, many are unwanted. Yours will be both planned and wanted which is surely the ultimate combination? I had DS at 35, will soon have DD at 40. Feel like crap at the moment but it will be worth it!

Good luck!

Have you thought about what you'll you say to your baby when he/she asks why they don't have a daddy?

def not too old. Sounds like a good idea, hope it all works out for you. Good luck!

You're not too old at all. You've obviously put lots of thought into it (by seeking the wise advice of mumsnetters!!) and really want a child, so I say go for it and good luck!

OP in theory I completely agree with DrSeuss except that I think you have other issues in your life right now which having another child will not solve or help, but merely perpetuate. And you do already have a child/children. I think you are hoping another baby will 'heal' you emotionally, but I'm not sure it will. A baby will not make you happier until/unless you resolve the other issues.

YANBU. Good luck!