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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to find being flashed at funny?

44 replies

toeragsnotriches · 12/04/2011 19:09

So I was in my front room the other night, watching some chinese lanterns floating across the sky and an odd looking man walked past and just stared at me. Then he walked past again. And then again, and pulled down his trousers (back half, not front.)

I pulled a face, shut the curtains and just laughed it off. I did, however, make sure I triple locked the front door...

I told DH when he got back from work the next day and he was horrified, saying I should report it to the police and it was virtually an assault. He was also concerned the flasher could either do it to someone else who didn't find it funny or go on to actually physically assault someone.

I didn't report it. Should I have done?

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 12/04/2011 19:10

yes report it

horrid

davidtennantsmistress · 12/04/2011 19:11

oh god yes what if it had been a vunerable person (elder or child?)

violethill · 12/04/2011 19:12

Yes, report it, it's not really about whether you were bothered by it, it's just the right thing to do out of a sense of public duty.

Some people might be really freaked out by it, or he could escalate to other things. It's an offence - so report him.

DELHI · 12/04/2011 19:13

You're obviously not easily intimidated Toerags, but some people might have been genuinely scared. Prob best to report it, I'd say.

EasterChickAndRabbitKurri · 12/04/2011 19:13

Yes report, - flashers sometimes move on to even worse sexual offences once flashing doesn't give them enough kicks.

BeerTricksPotter · 12/04/2011 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mydaddrivesarustycar · 12/04/2011 19:14

Flashing is usually where sex offenders start. Def report it, get him on the police radar if they can catch him.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/04/2011 19:14

I'm guessing he thought you were staring at him and that is why he mooned you

flashers generally show cock in sexual assault

I'd still let the police know in case there are other complaints

ashamedandconfused · 12/04/2011 19:16

i would report it

the police may well know who it was if they have "form", or they may know he is a harmless local "character", or there may be concerns about an emerging pattern/increasing severity of what he is doing (eg flashing at kids in park etc), or he may be on the sex offenders register already

yes, report it

ShatnersBassoon · 12/04/2011 19:17

You should definitely report it. That's not acceptable, even if it is so pathetic as to be laughable to some people. Tell the police you weren't sure what to do at the time, but on reflection you realise it is worth mentioning.

Can you remember details like time and the man's appearance and clothes?

SomethingSuper · 12/04/2011 19:17

I remember reading something about flashing often being the first stage of escalating sexually predatory behaviour. Something like flashing, then stealing clothes from washing lines, then 'peeping tom' type stuff, then assault and upwards.

Original poster
toeragsnotriches · 12/04/2011 19:18

I can still do it, right?

You are all right. The public duty thing really rings true here. I guess I just had in my head I'd report it if it affected me but I should do it on behalf of those more vulnerable. It did just occur to me - what if my kids had been there too?

IABU...

OP posts:
BitOfFunnyBunny · 12/04/2011 19:20

Was it a moon or a flash? Was he laughing or aggressive, or creepy-leery kinda thing?

Original poster
toeragsnotriches · 12/04/2011 19:24

I do think he perhaps thought I was watching him (eww) and yes it was a moon but in a furtive sort of way.

OP posts:
stillbroody · 12/04/2011 19:28

I don't think I'd report it, if you think it's harmless and he was just trying to be funny
Which it sounds like he was tbh, in a teenage boy sort of way

Chulita · 12/04/2011 19:31

Flashers often go on to other stuff once the flashing doesn't give them the kicks they need. Definitely report it regardless of how long ago it was (within reason obviously). If he's not a flasher but was just making a point cos he thought you were staring then he won't be caught doing it again.

Original poster
toeragsnotriches · 12/04/2011 19:35

Neatly put, Chulita . DH was right. I'll have to tell him the majority of those balloted on MN agreed with him. He will be well pleased Grin !

OP posts:
SixtyFootDoll · 12/04/2011 19:36

Not funny at all

Flashers can go onto commit more serious assaults

Ooopsadaisy · 12/04/2011 19:38

I've been flashed at 3 times in my life and I've missed it every time.

Once at Scratchwood Services in the late 1980s (age about 17). I was with a few friends and this bloke flashed at me but I wasn't looking. Friends all screamed, grabbed me and we ran into the ladies' loos. First I knew about it was when they explained.

Second time was on a bus (age 26 - I know this because I was pg). It was a bloke at the bus stop but I was reading my book and didn't notice. A nice lady in the seat across from me had to explain what I'd missed.

Last time was when I was out running. It was only when he tripped over his trousers that I realised he wasn't wearing them but he was already running away so I didn't get a proper look.

All saddos.

Original poster
toeragsnotriches · 12/04/2011 19:39

SixtyFootDoll I realise this now. I am going to report it.

OP posts:
textpest · 12/04/2011 20:11

My friend and I were frontally flashed in a park when we were youngish teenagers. Neither of us had seen an unrelated willy before and both burst out laughing. The man told us to shut up. We didn't.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 12/04/2011 20:14

I would think it was a somewat weak attempt at a moon myself!

I got flashed at once and I chucked a brick at it. Grin

YouaretooniceNOT · 12/04/2011 20:17

I'm sure i read somewhere that sometimes men that flash go on to sexually assault/rape.

Jellykat · 12/04/2011 20:18

I was flashed at when i was in my 20, a full frontal.. I just said "Oh dear!" and carried on walking...

A couple of days later, he did the same to a friend of mine, who was a real toughy..She took her Bullet belt off, and chased him around the park,swearing and swinging her belt above her head!.. Noone at college met him again..

YouaretooniceNOT · 12/04/2011 20:21

OOh my Mother was pushing my new born Sister in the pram and i was a toddler in the 70's and 'we' were flashed at, frontal flash! It was on a country lane, nobody else about to help. She said it was scary.

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