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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be bloody well pissed off with estate agents (or at least the ones I've dealt with!)

72 replies

chicletteeth · 11/04/2011 23:14

Just that.
I am a woman! I run our household. My husband works and I don't; I've recently given up to take care of our three young DC (not that that should matter but to some it will).
We are selling our house and buying another and I am in every dealing with our sale, purchae, survey, mortgage, solicitors etc....
I don't mind this - to some extent since giving up work, it gives me something else to do.

However, when getting agents in to value our house prior to putting it on the market, a direct question as to how much there fees were, was deflected saying we need to speak to the man of the house! Shock
This happened three times! They all insisted on speaking to my husband first who then said "err, my wife is dealing with this, speak to her, she can sort it out thanks"

Then today, I rang up to arrange a viewing of a house we are interested in only to be asked what mine and OHs initials are to which I responded A and B Chicletteeth (a being me since he asked me)

So he then said so you are Mrs. B Chicletteeth then?

No, I'm bloody well not - and why would you think that unless you are 60+ years old (he wasn't)

This may seem petty and I have in the past dealt with this from patients who say can I speak to my real doctor (i.e. you're too young/blonde/ etc...)! But WTF andwhy oh why does this still happen?
I'm annoyed, my husband in agreement that this is wierd behaviour from the estate agents (all male ) but has this happened to any of you and does it piss you off?

OP posts:
Original poster
chicletteeth · 11/04/2011 23:16

in every way dealing with our sale purchase

OP posts:
Original poster
chicletteeth · 11/04/2011 23:18

their fees were was deflected by them saying "we need to speak to hte man of the house"

Two bloody glasses of wine and I can't type!

Sorry

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 11/04/2011 23:18

grrrr Shock grrr

hissymissy · 11/04/2011 23:18

YANBU in all except the last bit about being called Mrs B Chicletteeth. That is the formal address for married women, I'm afraid. Very Shock about the 'man of the house' comment, though!

Original poster
chicletteeth · 11/04/2011 23:24

Hissymissy - I will disagree and say that this is no longer considered to be the formal address for a married woman.
Absolutely not!

I am A chicletteeth
My OH is B chiclettteeth

My married name is therefore Mrs. A chicletteeth not Mrs. B. Chicletteeth!
Incidentally, how old are you?

OP posts:
MavisEasterbunny · 11/04/2011 23:26

YANBU .yes and yes to has this happened.

I bought my first house solo after University (live in crap northern town and in the mid 90's a two up two down was about the same price as a reasonably priced car nowadays and affordable on my pitiful NHS salary,even as a stupid nursie).When I met dp we decided we needed a slightly larger house and it was all left to me,as he was crappola at such matters.It annoys me to this day that he was the one everyone wanted to speak to/see as first point of contact when arranging mortgage/sorting house purchase etc even though I was the one who organised it all.Gahh.I feel your pain,OP!!(And I'm sure you are a lovely doc:))

Original poster
chicletteeth · 11/04/2011 23:36

bump!

Sorry Blush

but after a conversation with a couple of other friends today, I am really wondering if this is commonplace?

OP posts:
JaneS · 11/04/2011 23:41

Sorry, but PMSL about the 'formal address for married people'. Not for me it's not, love!

OP, I'd be fucking pissed off too. And actually, I don't think it's commonplace. It's commoner than it should be, but loads of people do manage not to be rude sexist gits.

Fab123 · 11/04/2011 23:57

Used to work for them and the (large national) company I worked for was very male orientated. Sales had top salaries (best commission etc) but only about 5% of them were women (none in my branch and only 1 in the other I worked for were "agents") all other female staff did admin/secretarial or my job, which was Sales Progressor. We got a measly £7 commission per file and had the file from date of offer through exchange all the way to completion (and even then still got calls from the odd person settling in etc). I'd do 90% of the negotiating, speak to the whole chain of clients and solicitors all the way through the process, which in some cases lasted 6 months or more (!) whereas the sales guy would just do the initial banter and show them around - max contact a few hours. Frankly they would do anything to make a sale - fib, feign ignorance etc and usually leave it until I figured out there was a problem to mention anything, usually too late on in the process to help. If anyone called them irate it would be passed through to me to resolve, even if it was something the agent themselves had promised and I had no way of knowing what had been said (i.e quick exchange and completion/no roofing issues/ no subsidence issues). All they really wanted to know was where their commission was, not how the sale was doing. They knew so little about the process itself, legally, it was quite painful.
They all got paid double or more than what I was on a year.
It's definitely a man's world.

DiveBomb · 12/04/2011 00:17

OP, where do you live??? I would be totally shocked if anyone asked to speak to "the man of the house"! Next time try asking, "Why? Are you having prostrate trouble and need a male opinion? Because I just asked about fees, and I'm not quite clear on why you need to discuss that with a guy rather than me."

Original poster
chicletteeth · 12/04/2011 00:23

DiveBomb I live in Surrey!
I did consider starting a small ruck, but then being at home alone with my two youngest DC, one being babe in arms; I just didn't want to even introduce the possiblity of a disagreement!
They're such tits quite frankly - my opinion of course.
Fab123 - I have been dealing with their sales progressor and now I know how much work you do! They get off lightly and yet do so little!

OP posts:
nijinsky · 12/04/2011 00:24

Never happens to me. But I have had the phone put down on me after I have ignored repeated attempts to patronise me, tell me to "stop talking too much" and generally pull the wool over my eyes.

I'd tackle such comments by saying "The man of the house. What is the man of the house exactly and can you explain why you wish to talk to him and avoid telling me your rate of commission? Are you implying that I am unable to understand or authorise your rate of commission? You will be dealing directly with me, unless given futher notice. If you do not want the work, then I would remind you of the concept of direct discrimination in the provision of goods and services, which has been with us since 1975". How old are you exactly?"

Original poster
chicletteeth · 12/04/2011 00:26

Are you asking my age nijinsky?
And if so, regardless of it, did you read my last post about trying to avoid confronation whilst alone in the house with my two DC

OP posts:
nijinsky · 12/04/2011 00:29

No, I'd be asking the estate agent's age. Thinking they were very ancient.

More likely they are trying to slip an extortionate commission rate by you by not admitting to it and then trying to claim you or your DH have agreed to it.

Original poster
chicletteeth · 12/04/2011 00:29

The man of the house would, err, be the man would it not? I've been trumped there really - I am not a man!
They didn't ask who ran the house, or who held the bank balance of who made the decisions, despite me being the initiatior of our discussions, they asked for hte man of the house that is the person who lives here and who has testicles!

OP posts:
Original poster
chicletteeth · 12/04/2011 00:32

He wasn't though! He sounded like my little brother (exactly!) and I agree, WTF does the man of the house mean?

Does make me laugh! One guy wanted 7k to sell our house!

Isold it myself using an online estate agent for £500 and got our estimated asking price and a sum that we were very happy with.

OP posts:
JaneS · 12/04/2011 00:34

I wonder what they'd have done if you'd said your partner was a woman, chicle?

My mate gets her (male/neutered) cat on the rare occasions people have asked to speak to a man, as her wife is a woman.

MavisEasterbunny · 12/04/2011 00:38

Arseholes!I have the greatest comeback line for anybody now if they need to speak to "The man of the house".

"Well you could do,but it would be a bit tricky since he died 10 months ago!!"

(It is the truth,but DO try it Op,it really stops them in their tracks:o)

Original poster
chicletteeth · 12/04/2011 00:41

I almost just want to name and shame

OP posts:
JaneS · 12/04/2011 00:43

Oh go on ... you could drop a heavy hint, no? Grin

mavis I'm so sorry for your loss but what a fantastic response to a twattish question.

Original poster
chicletteeth · 12/04/2011 00:46

C and W in the Southeast
GP also in the same area (although could be further afield too)

These agencies, I found to be the most offensive.

Mavis, I am so sorry for your loss.

OP posts:
MavisEasterbunny · 12/04/2011 00:48

I have used it several times.Honestly op even if not the truth it is a Fabulous line !!!!(dp had a very dark sense of humour like myself and am sure if he were still around he would be laughing lots)

Original poster
chicletteeth · 12/04/2011 00:48

Ha littlereddragon no male cat but three small male boys who just love, love, love to speak on the phone Grin

OP posts:
JaneS · 12/04/2011 00:52
Grin

MN introduced me to the 'small children on phone' method - I am eager to have my own so I can use it.

Someone on here also told me that if you don't change your name when you marry and get cold calls, they will almost always ask for 'Mrs X' and you simply say 'there is no one of that name here'. Brilliant. Grin

It was a real heartfelt 'MN moment' when I did it the first time, I promise you.

Not sure I recognize the initials btw but I expect someone from your area might so if they see this they'll know to watch out.

MavisEasterbunny · 12/04/2011 00:56

trying to not speak English is also a good one,rudimentary French/Spanish/German always funny:)

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