to be pissed off with comments about my weight?

[KingStraub]

especially while I'm eating?

I am a small build, about 5'2", and weigh about 7.10 stone.

Aibu to be annoyed with (albeit jokey) comments along the lines of:

"Oh, you really don't deserve to be so skinny" (while eating a bacon butty at my desk)

"You could do with feeding up!"

FFS. I EAT. I can't bloody help it. And I am fucking sick of being told that I need to eat more.

And, btw, I'm not even skinny, in the true sense. I'm just small!

I think some people need to get new friends! What kind of freak says 'are you going to puke that up?' ?

laInfanta Sun 10-Apr-11 16:36:57
Everyone on here saying 'You wouldn't say that to a fat person' - people do though, it's horrible. I've heard of people shouting at overweight people in the street, things like 'Stop eating you fat bitch' 'Why don't you drop dead, you fat fucking cow' etc. There is so much hostility towards overweight people, and people feel justified in being mean because of the 'obesity crisis' stuff and burdens on the NHS. It's been written about on here. People can be horrible.

So I think I can put up with a bit of 'you're so little' - there is far much more social approval for slim women than larger ones.

so that makes it ok? seriously? Ive never heard an overweight person being berated in the street. and its horrible that it happens, but it doesnt happen as often as a slim woman will be told to "eat more pies" or "god, you're like an ironing board" or "you need fattening up" we are constantly being told that "men like curves" larger women are "real women" and the crucial thing is that I would NEVER tell someone that they need to lose weight, or that they were getting a bit porky, yet others have no problem telling me that I need to put it on, or that Im getting a bit skinny. Its double standards, and we are supposed to shut up and put up?

I agree with Xenia. I'm fat at the moment. Lots of overweight people prefer the word "big". I'm not big, I have a tiny frame but I am fat. Its not a nice word but there is no point in burying your head in the sand. Lots of people have a high bmi but they are toned and fit. I have more than a few spare tyres around the middle and rather large flabby arms. I am fat. Fat can not = fit and will lead to long term health implications. I will shed the weight and fit into my size 8 jeans again but until I do I have to face up to the truth that I am fat. If we were a little more honest with people then perhaps the country wouldn't have the obesity problem that it has.

But it's completely OBVIOUS that all that 'real women' stuff is just trying to make larger women feel better about the fact that every time they turn on the telly or open a newspaper or watch an advert it is rare to see a woman over a size 10/12 being portrayed in a positive way... We are bombarded by the message that being slim is good and virtuous every single day and in every medium. And I do think it's quite rare for a woman to be told that she is thin quite that rudely.

ok, so to make large women feel better you should make small women feel worse? and its not that rare for a slim woman to be told that she's too skinny, or needs to eat pies. not at all. because its acceptable. I think its far rarer that a fat woman is told that she is too fat. and the stories i read about it are horrific, but they dont get told that its ok because they are jealous do they? when size 2 became readily available there was an outcry because it was pushing young women into eating disorders, there wasnt the same response to a size 20 becoming readily available was there?

I never said it was OK to make personal remarks about someone's appearance.

But you can't argue that being slim is desirable in our culture. The OP knows that she isn't too thin. Her BMI is perfectly healthy. The same can't be said of people who already know they are medically overweight, which isn't ideal, and then get hammered in the media/general life as well.

And in media-speak 'curvy' means size 8 with big boobs. They don't mean an average size 14 or 16 figure, do they?

And in media-speak 'curvy' means size 8 with big boobs. They don't mean an average size 14 or 16 figure, do they?

I disagree. the majority of stars who are billed as "curvy" are a size 12+. slim women may get a better deal in the press, but I think they get a rougher deal in the real world.

Its rude ..I was so skinny in my 20s and got all sorts of negative comments,
used to piss me off and make me self conscious about the way I looked

Just in the Daily Mail today...

perfect example, you couldn't really claim that this woman is 'curvy'. She's slim. She's just slightly heavier than the very underweight girl who modelled for them before.

Urgh this is one of my pet hates. I am normally just under 8.5 stone, but a few years ago lost half a stone was hovering at around 8. This happened to coincide with wedding and everyone seemed to think that they had the right to tell me how ill I looked and I needed to eat. Grrr. It was actually work stress that caused me to lose that weight and I kept having to justify myself to people and say that as soon as the work stress lifted I would be back at normal weight. That's exactly what happened but some people were almost gleeful that the bride diet (that never was!) hadn't lasted.

It's worse being pregnant. Oh yes, because that also seems to invite everyone to comment on how I haven't put on enough weight because it looks like I am carrying my weight all on the bump and warning me against dieting. Really? I am not on a diet, I just don't feel the need to "eat for two". I agree that as a country we appear to have lost perspective of what a healthy diet and healthy weight is.

but she's a model. model curvy is very different to regular curvy.

nigella lawson is a perfect example. she is the poster girl for "sexy, curvy women" ditto the woman from mad men. with every article about them is a piece on how great it is to celebrate "real" women with curves.

If you look for it, it's possible to find lots of things to be offended about. The 'real woman' crusade is tiny compared to the constant onslaught of exclusively size 8 or 10 people modelling high street clothes, underwear, even face cream or cars ffs. One article about Nigella or Christina Hendricks vs a thousand about 'look at that woman's muffin top/cellulite/baby weight.

Some people are just rude, but I find it incredible that people who are just normal-slim get berated for it this much. I have had a few things said to me about being small, but usually in passing. The very few people who have been genuinely snotty were clearly just in a bate and wanting to believe that no one could be a size 8 without constant dieting/exercise.

chocolatecoveredlissielou
I am seriously overweight. Everytime I go out it's not a case of 'If' people take the piss, but more 'when'.
It's not just people just shouting out in the street. It is the different treatment that you receive in shops, on public transport etc etc.
I am very lucky in the fact that I can and do rise above it. I actually love myself, and think I'm a great person. If anyone feels that insecure that they have to judge me and be abusive in order to feel better about themselves then they can go ahead.
So please, from someone who walks everyday in that big body, believe me it happens, and much more than the casual observer thinks.

Can I also say, as well, that Nigella and Christina Hendricks have extraordinary figures - real hourglasses. That's not what most women their dress size look like, so it's just false of the media pretending to celebrate 'real women' by idolising them.

Some people think women should be a certain size and carry a certain amount of fat. I'm certainly not skinny but am not fat either, probably because I do plenty of sport. Yet I occasionally get comments that I'm too light, especially for my age (I'm not by any index). Some people just like to pigeonhole women into one standard type and size. Generally they're not the sort of people I have much to say to!

Oh it's just because people are jealous....I would love to be able to eat what I want but i can't. It's not meant to be nasty or mean...I think most people would love to eat whatever

I get accused of being anorexic too. It's insulting on a personal level, but what really annoys me is that it reveals such ignorance of what a person with anorexia really looks like. And it trivialises an appalling and serious illness.

I'm skinny. I ignore stupid remarks. It's a useful technique because while you can't change the attitude of the fuckwitted people who cannot bear to see a slim person eat, not being bothered means there's little point in them trying to wind you up.

I have had every insult and negative comment made to me over the years. I have let it upset me so many times when I was younger. I'm a very petite frame. 5.1' size 2 feet and weigh just short of 7 stone. But i have a bum and everything is in proportion. I do have to work at keeping my weight on and lose it very easily if I'm unwell or stressed. I eat and eat well and more than my Dh does some days. I have always been slim and I'm now mid 30's and had 2 DC. To be told I don't have the body to carry a baby and my hips aren't wide enough for childbirth was the most recent remarks. I gave birth to a healthy 8 pounder and pushed him out with no problem!