Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being over protective?

89 replies

alwaysaskingquestions · 08/04/2011 18:12

Would you allow a 15 year old girl to take their 7 year old brother to the end of the road to play on the beach alone?

Would you allow the same two children to go to the park at the end of the road alone?

If not why not? Age of girl, age of boy, or the two? If not when would you?

OP posts:
Maryz · 08/04/2011 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
alwaysaskingquestions · 08/04/2011 20:14

It is it's a sandcastle building beach, you certainly wouldn't go surfing there.

OP posts:
Dancergirl · 08/04/2011 20:14

I'm v slack - I would probably let a (sensible) 7 year old out to play in the circumstances you describe.

PumpkinBones · 08/04/2011 20:52

At 15, I looked after my 6&7 year old sisters for 9 hour days, no-one ever rang SS...to my knowledge!

YouaretooniceNOT · 08/04/2011 21:30

IF and it is a massive IF SS are called they will come to the house ask you a few questions, say oh it is fine, say it was a malicious call, look at their watch and disappear. Happened to me once - that is why io asked - apparently i was shouting at my child, starving him, beating him and leaving him alone in the house. So .... neighbour that has bi-polar i think called SS. This happend 3 years ago when my son was 9. As he is SN said social workers from children's disability team already knew of him via finances for daytime respite services. They were angry their time had been wasted. See? panic over eh OP? Do not worry, if you have done nothing wrong and co-operate (and most experienced social workers can tell if you are fibbing), they leave you in peace. No other anon calls since.. Relax it is nothing to worry about honestly x

SisterCarrie · 08/04/2011 23:25

There is a park on the beach at the end of my road (maybe we live on the same road!) And a park just off the other end of the road. Both have hordes of children in them without parents all the time. It's also a very elderly community here on the south coast, I honestly don't imagine the old folks on their mobility scooters can tell one child from another. And why would you be concerned what they think? I was babysitting for a 5 year old every day of the school holidays at the age of 15 when his mum was at work - we used to go to the park about 10 mins walk away, and to the shops together most days, nobody batted an eyelid.

blackeyedsusan · 08/04/2011 23:40

park, yes, beach.. probably not. I would be too scared...

seeker · 09/04/2011 00:14

Oh, ffs - scared of what?

mumeeee · 09/04/2011 00:18

Let them go, Your DD is 15 not a litle child,

LDNmummy · 09/04/2011 00:19

Not to the beach, never! To the park yes. Children can get swept away by the water before you even know its happening. A family member almost lost his son this way. The park poses no risks IMO, 15 year olds (and teenagers generally) are more responsible than they are often given credit for.

buttonmooncup · 09/04/2011 00:23

YANBU some 15yos have their own babies - I think most could manage a 7yo.

Goodynuff · 09/04/2011 05:35

of course I would, gosh, at that age she could have kids of her own!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/04/2011 05:45

Bit late for my chipping in, but of course I'd let them go.
It is unusual for two children of such different ages to enjoy each other's company that much. Make the most of it.
Fingers crossed for sun today. We're off to the beach, but ours involves at least an hours drive probably more depending on the hordes.

gorionine · 09/04/2011 06:17

Park at the end of the road most definitely.Actually Ds3 (7) now goes on his own.

The beach I would be ok on condition both swimmers and sure that the little one actually listen to his/her older sibling which from your posts seems to be the case for your Dcs.

I imagine that even if a busy body was to call SS on you, once Ss knock at your door they would soon realise you are a responsable parent.

cumbria81 · 09/04/2011 06:56

YAB extremely over protective. She's fifteen - some people are parents at that age!

gorionine · 09/04/2011 07:03

"She's fifteen - some people are parents at that age!"

I do not think it is a good argument for that particular thread. How many 15yo do you know are parents of 7yo? Maybe it is just my 7yo who is having a surge of hormones ATM and only does what HE tells himself to do but if I was not sure he was going to listen and do what sibling say I wold not allow the beach senario.

exoticfruits · 09/04/2011 07:53

no sorry but i wouldn't, 15, yes shes old enough but imo its unfair for her to have the responsibility

The poor 15yr old- I bet she is longing for some responsibility. We are talking about her taking a 7yr old out!
I was taking my younger brother out when I was at primary school and I would have been a bit upset if my parents thought I couldn't take the responsibility. We do infantise our DCs these days and it isn't good for them. She will be school leaving age soon.
My cousin took me by train on a longish journey when she was 15 and I was 7yrs. No one thought it odd or called SS! Since we were put on at one end and met at the other it was hardly risky. (although people on MN will no doubt put in the risks-e.g what if the train crashed!!)

Flowerpotmummy · 09/04/2011 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheerfulYank · 09/04/2011 08:01

I'd let them. I baby sat at 12 (not to the beach, but still) and was actually very responsible. You know them, and you know what the beach is like.

I say let them go! :)

LynetteScavo · 09/04/2011 08:05

It would depend on the park and the beach and the children, and the length of time.

It's impossible to give a yes or no answer.

NoWayNoHow · 09/04/2011 08:07

If the 15 year old can be trusted to be responsible and aware then I'd have no problem with it.

Flowerpotmummy · 09/04/2011 08:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IHeartKingThistle · 09/04/2011 08:18

I think it's lovely they want to go out together!

exoticfruits · 09/04/2011 08:19

I don't think that OP mentioned going in the water-as I read it is was play on the beach.
When we used to holiday in a caravan as DC we used to go and play on the beach until my parents were ready-we were under 15yrs. We were not going in the water and we were not irresponsible.
Of course 15yr olds will be irresponsible if everyone treats them that way-they need to build up slowly. I would have let my DCs do it at those ages but then I knew they would stick to the rules and the 7yr would do as asked-because it was a gradual thing.

exoticfruits · 09/04/2011 08:21

I think that there are going to be a lot of naive 18yr old out there! I can see them joining the forces, off to Afganistan and they haven't been allowed out to the end of the road with a 7yr old!