to think people should at least get a basic grounding in genetics before they cast aspersions on my fidelity/ relationship history?

[IntergalacticHussy]

I'm sick of acquaintances and sometimes complete strangers coming up to me and demanding to know why my kids look different to one another.

Yesterday was a prime example; bumped into an acquaintance i've known for a few years who took a look at my dcs and just blurted out 'so why do they have such different colour hair?' in this really quite aggressive way.

A list of possible answers flashed through my mind

1. Because. obviously they're not identical twins; there's years between them!
2. I don't bloody know, ask a geneticist!
3. start mumbling about dh's sperm, my eggs and recessive genes in a pseudo-scientific manner

Just to underline what he meant, he then started mumbling on about his own kids (who look totally different!) and how people must think he only fathered one of them. Bit weird really, maybe this he's projecting his own insecurities onto my kids.

This is just one example of the conversations i end up having with people i barely know, day after day. As it happens they have the same dad, but if they didn't, it wouldn't concern you anyway, I feel like saying. If we were friends, that would be the kind of thing you'd already know about my family and the fact that you have to piss about asking daft questions just underlines the fact that we don't know each other well enough to be talking about such personal things - in the bloody supermarket of all places!

My brother and I look quite similar, but then we both had the same milkman as our dad

Love messymammy's retort. I was thinking something about 'right, so you didn't pay much attention in biology lessons then?' or 'I guess your biology degree isn't going too well, then?'

Extraordinary how rude and ignorant some people can be.

I used to childmind and I cared for 2 children, from different families who both had red hair. When I used to take them out in the double buggy people used to ask if they were twins! I used to reply with, "That would be difficult as they both have different fathers" (pause to relish their look of distaste ... quite posh area!) "... but then they both have different mothers too!" ; )

I think some people just aren't very bright. My SIL is iranian, my brother is white. Two of the children have darker skin and look like their father. The middle child is very fair skinned and looks totally white i.e. like my brother.

When they are out people assume all the time that they are not siblings.

Annie I'm a CM and I've had the opposite - I had DD and mindee in the buggy, DD is skinny and pale with fair, straight hair, mindee has rosy chubby cheeks and full mop of curly brown locks. Someone pointed and went 'Ooh, twins!'

knittedbreasts i am so shocked! where abouts in the country do you live?

Both DH and I have green eyes - both DCs have brown eyes, I really don't understand that one!!

I ahve an Indian friend whose daughter has extremely pale skin and light brown/blondey hair.

YANBU

I love the 'yes, do yours?' reply . I find myself using the MN response of "did you mean to sound so rude?", shuts them up quick sharpish usually

I'm getting highly irrated at people who keep ranting on at me that 'poor' DC2 is DEFINITELY going to come out ginger because DP is. I try and explain that in very simple genetic terms the chance is 50/50 (I am brunette, my mother is a redhead) and that it's only a bloody hair colour not a deformity
but they still insist "ohh no, definitely ginger poor thing"

People are just so rude sometimes!

I know where you are coming from! I have Brown eyes. DP and DD have blue eyes.

I've had people come up to me in the street and asking whose child I have. When I reply, this is MY daughter, the look at me then go on and on about how blue eyed children can only be born to parents who both have blue eyes

What odd behaviour from people. I have had the opposite - DS1 and DS2 look quite alike, and people often ask if they are twins. Despite DS1 being twice the size of DS2 as he is 2 years older. Perhaps they think one is the favoured twin and the other only gets fed leftovers.

I have a friend who has genuine twins (now 6yo). People often ask if they are identical. Each time, she patiently replies, 'No, one's a girl and one's a boy.' People are quite ignorant about genetics!

Oh, and Abcinthia, all the people accosting you have it wrong. Blue eyes are a recessive trait. Therefore two blue-eyed parents can theoretically only have a blue-eyed baby (though in fact the genetics is more complex and it is possible, though quite unlikely to have a brown-eyed baby). But brown-eyed people may well have a recessive blue-eyed gene and therefore a brown-eyed parent can easily and often does have a blue-eyed baby.

Knittedbreast dear God, how on earth can such people exist to think that crap let alone say it out loud!!!! What a bitch!

My Mum used to get this a lot. She and my Dad are both very dark haired, dark eyes & dark, but cool not olive, skinned. Two of my siblings share their colouring and me and my sister are both blond and pale.

When we used to go to Spain etc. on holiday, people always assumed we were a German family

People just say stupid things. When my second child was born my first was 19 months old and not a good walker, so for a while I had a double buggy.

Like wolfhound says above, people would look in and say "oooh, are they twins?"

That's some size difference for twins.

wolfhound that is exactly what I tell them! I have loads of blue eyed relatives so I wasn't too surprised when my daughter had blue eyes.

my mum used to get asked a lot if my sister was adopted as she looked quite asian. She wasn't and mum used to get quite pissed off.

It was usual at school for people not to believe my sister was my sister as we looked nothing alike.

Interestingly as adults although we still have completely different colouring we actually do now look related.

Stupid question time - Any one know/or its it just me - why mixed race children on the whole are so pretty? I have 3 friends who are all nice but average looking and all of their 7 mixed race children are stunning.

Abcinthia - both my children have blue eyes too even though mine are brown (dh's are blue). I even get questioned as to the colours of my parents eyes (neither of them have blue eyes either).

When DD was little she was blonde and blue eyed, and I have brown hair and eyes, as does DH. We had a young, blonde (dyed blonde) childminder. I was asked a few times if DD was actually the childminder's child by DH, and I had taken DD on as my own due to the childminder being too young to be a mother.

Madness.

mitochondria, I can top that. DS2 was born on DS1's second birthday. DH took them to the clinic for their 18 month & 3.5 year check. After the HV had done all the checks she asked how well they spoke. DH proudly said DS2 had 30 words and the HV exclaimed why wasn't he speaking as well as his brother. DH told her we didn't expect him to as he was only 18 months old and she looked . She'd seen the same birthdate and assumed they were twins, so they'd both passed the 3.5 year check

You would think a HV could tell the difference between an 18 mo baby and a preschooler, wouldn't you?

Well, unless one of your children is green-skinned and glows in the dark, as your name suggests, YANBU!

Dp and I both have blue eyes and dd1 has green eyes. Dp and I both have siblings with green eyes though. MIL already accuses me (jokingly) of the milkman being father for dd2 as we are all dark and she is fair. However, she has exactly the same colour hair as SIL (her daughter) when she was little, which has now turned dark. She used to be a MW too...

When I was pg with dd1 a colleague kept telling me lo would have ginger hair as I kept drinking ginger beer due to ms! Looked at me like I had 2 heads when I said it would have nothing to do with genes, then. Some people are truly ignorant...

Ds2 is the spit of his father, but with my build and hair (short, curly, blond-till-10)

Ds1 is the spit of me, but with his father's build and hair (large boned yet skinny, straight thick gingery mouse hair that hasn't changed his whole life and probably won't)

they both look like me and their father.

They don't look like each other at ALL.

Oh and despite having blue eyed parents, ds1 has turquuoise green eyes!

quirkychick - are they hazel green or bluey green (your DD's eyes)?

My sil has had to put up with lots of comments.

Sil & bil both have black hair and brown eyes. Niece has dark brown hair and brown eyes, nephew has bright blonde hair and blue eyes .

Some people are soooo rude, but I wonder if a lot of it is that they just don't engage their brain before opening their mouth!

knitted that is an awful thing for somone to say.