To expect my almost 12yr old dd to get the bus home from school a few days a week after easter?

[LoveMyGirls]

It's almost 3 miles away, either 20mins walk and then bus than 5 min walk or 2 buses.

Thanks

sounds reasonable

my son has been getting himslef to school since the age of 10 its 2 buses and takes 45 min each way and 12 year old should be getting around by themslevs

YANBU.

presumably she's Yr 7 - sounds absolutely fine. Would maybe rethink when the nights get darker in the winter if it's quite isolated. Will there be other kids from her school on the bus?

yanbu???? not sure what that means

My 11 year old son will be doing the same from September .
So I am giving him a bit of freedom now . Allowing him to go to local (15 min walk away , but still our nearest !) sweet shop etc .
Will do a dummy school bus run before he starts , but there will be loads of other children doing the same run so I think he should be ok .

for maypole1 - welcome to the site

mardybra thaks,

yes cotton wool is for wipeing make up off not wrapping kids up in my son gose to the libuary obn a saturday and get himself to and from his after school clubs would though she how she feels when it gets darker but to be honest if she comes stright home no dilly dalling their shouldnt be and issue

What do you mean?

Does she refuse to get the bus at all, preferring to buy sweets o the way home?

Or do you pick her up?

If you pick her up every day, you're bonkers.

Agree with pointydog's last sentence. My DC walked just over a mile to school on their own from Year 5. They don't want me to pick them up from school cos it's a good time for gossip and chat with mates.

Well she got the bus today and came home and declared she was not doing that again! I said yes you are, enough is enough now, I don't expect it everyday but 3 days a week after Easter is more than fair, maybe even everyday if I get her a weekly bus pass? She will be doing it, there will be no choice but wanted to check with MN first.

When she was at primary she used to walk back once a week and was fine with it but now seems to think it's her god given right to be collected because her new school is further away.

I am beginning to feel like a mug tbh. Having said that I have never been the parent of a child this age before so wanted to check my expectations were not too high in this day and age. I used to make my way to and from school from age 8 but didnt live 3 miles away, even my secondary school was less than 2 miles, my DH says he was collected from school until he left school so I have my work cut out convincing them them I am normal. I had 2 paper rounds at 12..........Dh didn't work until he was at college.......different backgrounds etc.

Tell her she can declare all she wants, you're not picking her up so she's not got a choice - it's either the bus or walk!

I appreciate that I was at school a few years ago, but it was perfectly normal for me and most of my friends to make our own way to and from secondary school. I used to go on the bus. I think your DH is the unusal one...

Did she say why she wasn't going to do that any more? Was she frightened, bullied, worried of getting off at the wrong stop, or just can't be bothered with the hassle?

My ds is 12 and walks home (1.5 miles) from school. I drive him there.

She was worried last night about walking past the other secondary school which is on route if she chooses to walk to town and then get 1 bus because a couple of the girls who picked on her in her previous school go there to be fair to her BUT a fact of life is that she needs to be able to make her own way home from school, I ahve said IF anything happens which I don't think it will then I know where theese girls live, have their parents phone numbers and will contact them IF anything should happen which tbh I don't think it will, she has a group of friends with older siblings to walk with as well so I feel she is as safe as she can be tbh. She has a mobile she can call me on if she needs me and I will get there as soon as I can. The reason she said she wasn't doing it again was because it was too hot which in my book is not a good enough reason. If she was especially worried about these girls she could get a bus from right outside the school and then another from town to our house.

DH is currently taking her in the mornings although it does make him a bit late for work. DD1 has passed her cycling provicieny (sp?) and had a new bike last august so could cycle if she would rather that.

Oh my, some children! she declared!? she can declare all she likes op, you are the adult, and most importantly the one with a driving licence and the one who gives her bus fare, so unless you cave she has to walk or take the bus.

I would actually not give her bus fare for a week and then she would realise how reasonable getting a bus is.
she is 12, not 2.

The bus home is horrific (yr 9 boys flicking condoms at the yr 7 girls and offering to teach them sex last week) - throwing food, cans of coke, water squirting, general bullying, tormenting and showing off. Sadly the buses DD can get home start at the boys grammar and then pick up the girls, they are normal public buses, the drivers HATE that run and just sit there whilst it all goes on. I don't blame them to be honest, little shits have no respect.
DD hates it and hasn't been on it this term. That's all well and good whilst I am doing overtime and can pick her up, but when that stops, she's back on it..............
I hate teenaged kids :D

I thought it was pretty standard that secondary school children caught the bus to school or walked

mine all did

DD and her friends bus-hop to and from school every days, and have done since September (and she won't 12 till the summer hols!) - it takes them about 40mins, I think.

There is no way she would want me to take her / pick up unless she was there really late without anyone else to travel back with.

Is she scared, or lazy? Or lonely - I mean would she feel lonely as she thinks / there is no-one to travel with?

I think she just thinks why should I when my mum can get me? TBH

I'm a childminder so I could get her but it means I have to do 3 different schools, its a 13miles round trip and I've had enough when imo she is old enough. Because I am in the fortunate position of being able to do it I think she thinks that means I should do it.

does make a difference as to whether she has other people to go with (not as to whether she should do it, rather whether it's enjoyable!) - I always did travel without parents, but with friends, so it wasn't an issue. Are you the only ones that live in your direction or something?

I had car issues last week and her grandad was able to help out but if he hadnt she would have had to get the bus which is what has sparked this btw. So today was her trial run, DH has now agreed she should get the bus tomorrow as well because she finishes at a different time tomorrow than she did today, I agree with him and we have told her.

I think by the time they go to secondary school they should be old enough (and responsible enough) to travel to school by themselves.
They need to be independent...to be prepared for adult life.