Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To not let my 6 year old go to a theme park.

50 replies

LOLLY38 · 05/04/2011 17:56

My 6 yr old DD has been invited to go to a theme park by a schoolfriend for her Birthday. The thing is I don't really know the family all that well apart from a few school parties and the odd occasion my daughter has played at their house. I have since found out that it is only the Dad who is taking my DD and her firend to the theme park. Am I right to be concerned and what the hell do I say to get out of it?

OP posts:

Sidge · 05/04/2011 17:57

What is it you are concerned about?

And what sort of theme park? Are we talking Alton Towers, or a smaller park suitable for younger children?

squeakytoy · 05/04/2011 17:59

Why are you concerned? Would you be ok if it was the mum who was taking them?

Your daughter is 6, and that makes her old enough to speak out if anything wrong was happening.

FabbyChic · 05/04/2011 17:59

Whats the problem really? There is one girl, your daughter and her dad so he doesn't have his hands full. They have been to parties before and your daughter has been to their house.

This is a public place and no doubt he is a responsible adult.

If you don't want her to go just say you are busy that day doing something else, then when the little girl says to your daughter what did she do and she says nothing they will know you were lying.

YOu could be honest and just say she is too young to do a theme park.

Original poster

LOLLY38 · 05/04/2011 18:00

It is a theme park which has big rides and smaller rides for younger kids. I am not concerned about the rides just concerned about my daughter going off for the day with someone I hardly know.

OP posts:

BristolJim · 05/04/2011 18:03

You're not being unreasonable to worry, but you would be being unreasonable to stop her going. She'll love it, come back with a horrible present for you which you'll pretend to love, lots of stories about their day and you'll wonder what you were ever worried about in the first place.

FabbyChic · 05/04/2011 18:03

YOu could get to know him first by inviting him round for a coffee and a chat.

squeakytoy · 05/04/2011 18:04

Lolly, she is 6, with a friend, and a responsible adult. They will be fine.

balia · 05/04/2011 18:04

Offer to go along? Seems a shame for your DD to miss out.

Original poster

LOLLY38 · 05/04/2011 18:06

I feel like I am being unreasonable but I have all the "what if's" going round my head. I don't think he is a coffee and a chat type of man!

OP posts:

BristolJim · 05/04/2011 18:09

All part of the process of watching them grow up I'm afraid, Lolly. First school trip away, first foreign school trip, first adventure weekend - you'll want to kybosh them all. But you won't, and you'll be glad you didn't when she returns, as she will, exhausted, hyped on sugar and very, very excited.

rainbow26 · 05/04/2011 18:12

i have a 6 year old ds and to be honest i think i would feel exactly the same as you.yanbu just over protective and there is nothing wrong with that.

if i was in your situation i would probably let her go but after a long think about it.we have to leave go a little sometimes and although you will probably worry about the situation i bet they will have a fantastic day and you will feel glad that you let her go in the end.

good luck. :)

nikki1978 · 05/04/2011 18:13

Are you worried that she will get lost? Or that he won't act responsibly? What exactly are you worried about?

LineRunner · 05/04/2011 18:15

Actually, I am right with Lolly on this. I wouldn't let my 6 year old go on a theme park trip with someone I didn't know particularly well.

catinthehat2 · 05/04/2011 18:17

HOw tall is she?
She may well be too short for a lot of the rides, so she's not going to end up on something she will fall out of, staff will prevent that.
SHe will eat lots of rubbish - no probs
She is in a public place and will go to the ladies with her friend - great fun.
She will interact with friend more than Dad I bet

MooMooFarm · 05/04/2011 18:21

LOLLY38 - is it just going to be the two children going? If so, unless you have particular concerns about this man's capabilities, I would think you can be pretty sure that he can watch them both no problem. But I would be worried too so YANBU.

Can you not have a chat to the man? Be honest and tell him you're a bit apprehensive as your DD has never been anywhere like that without you before. Then let him put your mind at rest a bit! I have done this before - have used the excuse that 'I'm really sorry but I'm a totally paranoid parent, blah blah'... He's a parent himself so he will surely understand where you're coming from?

Original poster

LOLLY38 · 05/04/2011 18:28

I can't put my finger on exactly what I am worried about I think it is because I don't know him well and they seem to let their daughter run wild when out in public something that i don't allow. So maybe I am concerned she will get lost, maybe I am concerned he is not responsible enough.....not explaining myself well am I?

OP posts:

MooMooFarm · 05/04/2011 18:42

No I understand what you mean - everyone has different ways of parenting, some are much more 'relaxed' than others! I am not relaxed at all, so can't understand people I know who let their young DCs run ahead when walking alongside busy roads, for example.

But in your situation I would also feel bad about saying no to what will be a lovely day out for your DD. I would say talking to the man is the way to go here. Tell him you worry about her running off, getting lost, etc (even if you don't normally!). See what he says.

SuchProspects · 05/04/2011 18:44

Lolly, from your last post it sounds more like you do know him a bit and don't think he's a suitable supervisor. Which is a rather different scenario.

Still - how bad is it? Her getting lost at a theme park isn't too terrible - it's a pretty safe place to get lost in, lots of staff used to children and systems in place to get families back together again. If it happens it might mean its not her best day out ever, but it's not likely to be disastrous. Is it likely to be worse than that?

2rebecca · 05/04/2011 18:44

Poor bloke.

rainbow26 · 05/04/2011 18:47

it is your child you do not need to explain yourself.it would be unnatural if you were NOT worried about your dd safety.

i too would have your concerns it is only natural.moomoofarm i think that is a great idea to have a chat with the girls dad.

but when push comes to shove you are clearly not 100% comfortable with your dd going to the theme park.i would go with your gut feeling and do what is best for YOU.she is your dd and i wouldnt worry is anyone else thinks yabu,6 is still v young.:)

feggyart · 05/04/2011 18:48

I dont think i am overprotective but i would not let her go.

6 is to young and you don't know him that well.

risingstar · 05/04/2011 18:52

you need to speak to them. when dd2 was about the same age, we invited our next door neighbours daughter the same age to come to a theme park with us. parents accepted happily. it was only the night before when we got the map out and ran through the rides that we would be going on and checking with her/her mum which rides she was happy with and explaining that if there was anything she was scared of, she didnt have to do that the Mum confessed how worried she had been.

download a map and talk it through- i would go along the lines that you want to make sure that your dd and theirs like the same kind of rides and that your daughter will not end up on going on things she doesnt want to- for that reason only i would be slightly concerned about only 1 parent going

GloriaSmut · 05/04/2011 18:56

Not all men are paedophiles who, when not trying to get their wicked way with small girls, are abandoning them to run wild at theme parks.

ousel · 05/04/2011 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2rebecca · 05/04/2011 18:57

I wonder if your response to this sort of thing depends on if you work or not. As a working mum I never had any expectation that I would know the parents of my kids' friends when they started school so was happy for them to go to parties/ theme parks etc as long as I was happy there was sufficient adult cover.
I adult for 2 6 year olds sounds plenty. I don't see the problem.

Flip

1 2