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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let my 6 year old go to a theme park.

50 replies

LOLLY38 · 05/04/2011 17:56

My 6 yr old DD has been invited to go to a theme park by a schoolfriend for her Birthday. The thing is I don't really know the family all that well apart from a few school parties and the odd occasion my daughter has played at their house. I have since found out that it is only the Dad who is taking my DD and her firend to the theme park. Am I right to be concerned and what the hell do I say to get out of it?

OP posts:

darleneconnor · 05/04/2011 19:06

At that age they can often only go on rides if accompanied by an adult so a 1 adult 2 DCs ratio isn't much good. why dont you go aswell?

exoticfruits · 05/04/2011 19:08

Why not offer to go too?-problem solved.

speakercorner · 05/04/2011 19:18

Exotic, that is a very good idea. Do say that you will pay for your own entry though. I think this:

'I don't know him well and they seem to let their daughter run wild when out in public something that i don't allow.'

are good enough reasons not to let your dd go without you, I think.

exoticfruits · 05/04/2011 19:24

Yes-say that you will pay. You can use any excuse-I would say that DD might be more confident if you were there and you wouldn't want her to stop them going on anything.

frasersmummy · 05/04/2011 19:26

I wouldnt be worried about it as such but 2 kids 1 adult might make rides harder to cope with .. might be easier for everyone involved if you went along

I am thinking . can we go on here.. no you need an adult .. well you come with me .. no I cant leave x on her own etc
but he may have thought through the rides and know what he is going to do .. I know my hubby is that organised !!

rainbow26 · 05/04/2011 20:59

gloriasmut no offence but dont think anyone has even brought the word paedophile into the equation. wouldnt have thought the sex of the adult has anything to do with the situation!

Rhinestone · 05/04/2011 21:03

I don't blame you, I hate theme parks. Flippin' dangerous.

charlieandlola · 05/04/2011 21:05

6 is too young, imho.
You should go too.

StataLove · 05/04/2011 21:09

I'd second offering to go. I took one of my daughter's friends with us to legoland when they were 6. It was actually really hard because on a lot of rides you need an adult to accompany each child on the ride and the other child will have to wait to have a turn. Also was a problem because my dd is a daredevil but her friend isn't - but we couldn't split up so dd could go on the wilder rides. We'd have had a much better time with another adult. Maybe you could phrase it like that?

RubyFakeNails · 05/04/2011 21:25

Let her go, she'll have fun. Wait until she gets older you'll think this decision was simple. I think its a bit unreasonable to gatecrash the girls birthday, does he really want you going round with him? If DD isn't enjoying you can always go and collect her.

upahill · 05/04/2011 21:29

So if mum was going would that be ok instead of dad?

MCos · 05/04/2011 22:11

I had same problem as reported by several posters. Last year, brought DDs, age 6 & 8 to Tivoli World. Had to have one adult per child. I used leave one child wait beside the attendant, and when ride over swap with the other child. Now, my 2 were OK to do this for mom, after all, each ride they had was with mom. They wouldn't have been as happy to have each ride with friend's dad (or even friend's mom)... There were very few rides they could go on together without me.
Recommend you check out if this situation occurs at the theme park they plan to attend. If so, you should def. go along too. Or could DD's dad go along with them?

PaisleyLeaf · 05/04/2011 22:20

I'd feel the same as you. Maybe it's because my DD's never been to a theme park, or on anything more than a merry-go-round (with an adult), that I don't know yet how she'd handle the rides.....she might love 'em or feel scared and sick, peer pressured etc. I also don't think my DD would speak up for herself to a friend's dad.
It also worries me how busy these sorts of places are - it is easy to lose someone.
With a bit of theme park experience behind her I might feel differently.

Thruaglassdarkly · 06/04/2011 02:21

I was in the exact same position last year. My 5 yo dd's (fairly new) bf's mum invited her to a theme park for the little girl's birthday. My DD was the only one invited and it was an hour and a half's drive away. Not wanting her to miss out, we drove her there (which was my main concern), handed her over to the other family, then paid for the rest of us to go around the park for the day, discretely bumping into them regularly on the jaunt round and staying on the end of the mobile for dd's friend's mum, before meeting up to take her home in our car at the end of the day - cost a small fortune for us, but I didn't care. I knew her friend's mum would keep her safe - that wasn't at all the point. It was more about the message I wanted to send to DD - that this sort of independance comes with years and she was not having it too young. I wanted her to know that at any point of the day I would be only a minute or two away if she needed me. She was very happy for me to do this. Her friend's mum was a little surprised at my over zealous parenting, I think, but I didn't mind too much and we've become pretty good friends since. She was only 5 and I just don't think they should grow up too quickly. Stuff what anyone else things. This is about your child and you know she's probably going to have a fab time without you but that's not the point. What if she falls over, feels sick, just needs a cuddle? Let her enjoy a bit of (limited) freedom, but in the certainty that you are there if she needs you. She's only 6!!! Good luck.

Morloth · 06/04/2011 03:42

hmmm from your last post it seems it isn't so much what you don't know but what you do.

DS has friends whose parents are not people I would let him go out with.

onceamai · 06/04/2011 05:18

Theme park - no problem
Day out with friends' father - no problem
Junk food - no problem

Small inner voice telling you something is wrong and you can't put your finger on it - don't do it.

Either you go with them - plenty of 2 for 1 offers out there so won't make any difference at all to the overall cost - or you arrange to do something else that is fun with DD and politely offer your apologies. Have the girl over to tea in the meantime and try to get to know the family better.

Bucharest · 06/04/2011 06:33

Day out with a man I don't know-no problem
Junk food- no problem
Theme park- not while there is breath in my body. Too many potential situations.

(I take groups of 14-18 yr olds to theme parks all summer long, dd has been coming along since she was 4 but there is no way I'd let her go without me)

gorionine · 06/04/2011 06:40

I think YANBU to not let your child go whith someone you hardly know and you should have left your OP as that. But to refuse to let her go because the person happens to be a dad rather than a mum is BU IMHO.
Would you think your DH has strange ideas if he was to take your DD and her friend to the theme park?

cumbria81 · 06/04/2011 06:45

YABU and a worry wort. Let her spread her wings.

TheGrimSweeper · 06/04/2011 06:56

I'm completely not a protective parent, but right with you on this one lolly. 6 is too young to go to a theme park with someone who's judgement you don't trust - man or woman. Sure nothing very bad is likely to happen but she could get seperated from them or that sort of thing that is not life threatening but is distressful.

It would be irresponsible of you and I can't believe people on here advising you to let her go.

Hope you can go so your DD doesn't miss out.

Frimblypoo · 06/04/2011 06:57

YANBU your child, your choice
if I have any doubts at all it doesn't happen - plenty of time for this when they are older
imho 6 is too young, theme parks can be overwhelming, scary places

receiverofopiniongiver · 06/04/2011 07:21

I took my friends' 3 children and my 4 to Chessington by myself. Ages 5-13. We did all the rides had a fab day.

I did take a photo at the start of the day, and joked with the kids that I was doing so so that I could ensure at the end of the day I had the right 7 kids.

All was okay - I took the photo back at the car, and luckily it was the same 7 kids, I'd not swapped any on the way round .

It's one adult and 2 kids, the kids will stick together, and have great fun, let the child go.

Gemsy83 · 06/04/2011 07:59

I wouldnt allow it either- YADNBU

exoticfruits · 06/04/2011 08:00

I think that it depends on whether you like theme parks. I would be happy with other venues, but I think theme parks are so big and crowded and a 6 yr old may find it difficult to say that they don't want to do a particular ride if it then stops the others doing it. I think that 8yrs is fine-that is the age that mine did it-or we took a friend.
If I was the one taking I would be quite happy for the other parent to pay to come-after all it would take the responsibility off me and make it more enjoyable.

Hulababy · 06/04/2011 08:06

For me, when dd was 6y:

Theme park - no problem, dd adores rides, she s sensible, follows rules, etc.
Person I don't know - less keen, would want to have met them whilst at this age

Would I let her go?

I would speak to the parents about it, how they were going to deal with children on rides (often each child needs an adult with them), etc. Then decide. Dd would hate nt to be allowed so I would want to speak first, decide after.

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