Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that £250 is a bit steep for a hen night?

33 replies

jinxediam · 05/04/2011 17:07

I agreed to go to my friends friend night and now her friend has contacted us all to give details of the itinery and i'm a bit Shock at the cost!!! Since when did hen nights get so expensive??

I think i'm the only one with DC's so maybe i'm a bit more credit crunched then most but even so I am faily speechless at the cost. Its all been booked so I feel bad about pulling out yet this is way out of my budget. AIBU to feel like cancelling or is this how much hen nights cost these days?

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 05/04/2011 17:08

I would cancel immediately. I don't £250 and I wouldn't go into debt for something like that.

This is why I hate hen nights. It's not nights any more, it's entire weekends abroad. Ridiculous.

ChristinedePizan · 05/04/2011 17:09

Oh god I hate that. Really bad to book something without checking with invitees what they can afford. I would cancel - that's a hell of a lot of money for one night. What on earth are you doing?

JanMorrow · 05/04/2011 17:10

Can you go to part of it? That way you show your face but don't have to pay that frankly ridiculous amount!

I would be horrified if my hen night cost that much for people.

Original poster
jinxediam · 05/04/2011 17:12

this is an afternoon with activities planned in London with an overnight stay. I'm weighing up if I can chop bits out and get a train home to save money. The official cost would be £190 but with train and drinks it will be £250 as a minimum i'd say with London drink prices.

Most of my friends are already married and we did nights out in our local town with the usual glittery cocks and silly outfits Grin

Is this normal or does everyone do big weekends of it now then?

OP posts:
LoveACuppaTea · 05/04/2011 17:14

I think YABU. My hen weekend was a 2 night stay at Alton Towers and it was £200 each. Was the best weekend ever!!

LoveACuppaTea · 05/04/2011 17:17

I dont think you should just go for part of it - i know im gonna get slated for saying this but either go - or dont. My brother only went to part of my DH's stag night and it put a dampener on it till he left! Was like he didnt care.

Original poster
jinxediam · 05/04/2011 17:18

The hen doesnt actually know what she is doing- a friend has organised it. I agreed to cocktail making but its the other costs that really whack it up. It also starts early so its a day/night thing.

The main activity is cocktail making, then the limo, meal, club then hotel. This doesn't sound too bad but each cost individually is actually quite high.

I feel really bad at pulling out but i'm just a bit Shock at the total cost Sad

OP posts:
JanMorrow · 05/04/2011 17:19

I would never ask my friends to pay that much for a hen do, I've specifically asked my bridesmaids (who are organising some secret bash!) to keep it cheap, and I'm the only one with a baby.. but sometimes people get carried away/don't consider how much it might cost.

How about you go down late (just for the evening) and stay for that bit/the night in the hotel and forget the afternoon stuff? Or will that not save money?

PinkIceQueen · 05/04/2011 17:21

It's tricky. I've just turned down a hen weekend as the bride is having not 1 but 2 and getting married abroad. I'm already shelling out loads to go to the wedding and I don't feel inclined to do the same for a hen weekend which could be conducted just as easily (in one night) in our home town. It's courtesy for the organisers to give a price at time of checking if people want to go as it's a major factor for most people.

Original poster
jinxediam · 05/04/2011 17:23

if i was to go later and chop out the limo/drinks making it saves about £60. Really don't want to be a party pooper. In my past life I would have been so up for it as well. My DH has in fact turned down a stag weekend away because of the cost (but he did go to one last year),

argh don't know whether to suck it up and try and forget the cost or go later on.

OP posts:
Dozer · 05/04/2011 17:25

yanbu, but the person booking it might've incurred costs, so you pulling out may be a problem.

Dozer · 05/04/2011 17:26

loveacuppatea, sorry, but you may have had the "best weekend ever" but some of the hens might not've liked paying £200!

Original poster
jinxediam · 05/04/2011 17:28

I really don't want to fall out with my friend over it. I expected the hotel costs and drinks making but am a bit Shock at the cost of the meal (without drinks) and of course the limo and club.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 05/04/2011 17:29

I wouldn't go.

The spiralling cost of hen and stag dos are getting farcical IMO

Quenelle · 05/04/2011 17:30

What will you (and perhaps your family) have to go without if you spend £250 on a day and a night away?

Hennights should be organised so people can go to different parts, depending on what they can afford.

Honestly, where will it end? Unless you can stump up for a week in Vegas you don't 'care' about your friend?

MillsAndDoom · 05/04/2011 17:35

God, whats wrong with a few drinks somewhere - as was what hen / stag do's originally were

£250 is an outrageous amount for a night out

Original poster
jinxediam · 05/04/2011 17:37

this is the thing- my DH has done masses of overtime recently (6 weekends straight) and he did mark part of it over to me as i've been left juggling the (very young) DC's while he works. I had planned to use that money to go towards funding a course I want to start. If I do both I will go into my overdraft again which im not keen on doing as i've only just gotten back into the black for the 1st time since last May!!!

oh sh*t Sad

OP posts:
TragicallyHip · 05/04/2011 17:39

That's really expensive! Surely she should have told everyone the cost before it was booked rather than just assuming everyone can afford it!

tyler80 · 05/04/2011 17:40

I've been to bits of hen days/nights before. Sometimes due to costs, sometimes due to prior engagements. Luckily for me my friends are reasonable people and were happy that I could join in for part of it if not all.

Am shocked that anyone would book anything without checking numbers/costs first.

usualsuspect · 05/04/2011 17:40

Its was a few drinks with a free garter and cheap plonk , in the local nightclub on a Thursday night, in my day [also old gimmer]

none of this going away for the weekend lark

so yanbu

Shakirasma · 05/04/2011 17:43

My husband went to magaluf for 5 nights for less than that!

ChristinedePizan · 05/04/2011 17:44

loveacuppatea - being able to afford something is not related to how much you care about someone Hmm

Pancakeflipper · 05/04/2011 17:46

YANBU - I shall hug my mates for having brill fun hen nights/weekends that have never cost me over £80.00 maximum. I wouldn't go and I'd say very nicely I am very sorry I cannot afford it.

I sound like a right meanie. Off to dust my bank account down.

Tee2072 · 05/04/2011 18:21

loveacuppa - I only went to part of my SIL's hen weekend and it didn't ruin anything for anyone. I went to the part that a) I could afford and b) didn't make me want to scream with boredom. They were probably happy to not have me along except for the meal as I am about 15 years older than her and her friends and would have been the old woman bringing them down.

And I would have hated Alton Towers. Glad you had fun but you shouldn't assume everyone likes what you like.

I also think £200 is ridiculous.

Bunbaker · 05/04/2011 18:46

"I think YABU. My hen weekend was a 2 night stay at Alton Towers and it was £200 each. Was the best weekend ever!!"

How can you say that? I think £200 is a big ask of someone for a hen do. I wouldn't dare to presume that anyone could afford that much, and it just makes it awkward when the invitee has to refuse.