to think i am a cleaner, not a fucking housekeeper/general dogsbody!!

[superv1xen]

i have a small cleaning business, ok its basically just me, my mop and my hoover, and a gumtree ad :o i have got 3 clients and work 3 days a week.

one of my clients has the most cluttered house i have ever seen, it makes it really hard for me to clean at the best of times as i don't like to move stuff too much plus she always leaves stuff that looks like rubbish lying around but i darent chuck it in case its important (she works from home). she also expects me to change her beds and clean out her coffee machine, which is a right fiddly arse of a job. also i usually have to fill the dishwasher as theres usually a few pots and pans lying about in the kitchen. i think this is a bit above and beyond what i would ask of a cleaner, (my other clients wouldnt dream of asking me to do that) but i need the money work so i just accept it. but today they really took the piss IMO.

i got there and her and her DH were cooking a fry up (hmm) so i went and did the upstairs first to stay out of their way. and came down to find that there were greasy, filthy pots and pans ALL over the work surfaces, the cooker was swimming in grease and the sink was overflowing with dishes. in the sitting room the dining table was covered with dirty cups, plates etc, it looked like they had had some kind of dinner party last night. so i had no choice but to empty their (full) dishwasher and put everything away so i could put all their dirty pots in there and do a new load (to clear them out of the way more than anything) and there wasn't even enough space in there for everything so i had to handwash a load too. and it took me ages to rid the cooker top of its horrible black greasiness. there was also disgusting bits of food and stuff all over the worktops which i had to bin, i was nearly sick i swear.

AIBU or does that take the piss a bit? when i was growing up we had a cleaner when i lived at home and my mum used to make sure it was tidy-ish for when she came so she could do a decent job. as do my other clients!

Figgyrolls, Miele are the best, I cart the Miele "Cat and Dog" around with me.
I think people are being a bit mean to Op really. This was about a lot more than cleaning a coffee machine wasn't it?
I agree with everyone who says to sit down and agree what will be required before the cleaner starts. I'd suggest that you don't make too rigid a list, give the cleaner a bit of flexibility to do the less frequent jobs as and when (like window cleaning). That should work if you get a good cleaner anyway.

I have a'cleaner' but in my gumtree ad I was very specific about the jobs I needed, so yes she tidies and does laundry, sheets washes u etc. But I was clear in the ad that I was looking for a mother's helper/cleaner/mary Poppins magic lady. I have one, thank the Lord and she is brill and I pay her more than she ask because she is brill. She is happy because she knew from the start what the job entailed. I think you should have a chat with your employers so that you are both clear about exactly what your job is.

My cleaner does all the stuff you've mentioned.

We discussed it when she started. Sometimes I have time to stack the dishwasher. Other times I don't.

She doesn't often change beds but has done so (I recently had a back problem and found it very hard to deal with my king size duvet). She will also hang out my washing if I ask her to.

I don't have a lot of clutter around because I'm very much of the school of thought that I pay her to clean not tidy. Sometimes it is unavoidable though.

Maybe I'm a nightmare customer but I'm a customer. If you don't want her money tell her. I'm sure she will find someone else.

I have fantasies about having a cleaner who has he time to dust the window sills.....

Shocked! Windowsills should always be dusted!

Yes I know, but my lovely lady does so much. I'm am thinking of suggesting she does this when she does the rounds, but believe me she does a huge amount of housekeeping, I can't complain. Her ironing alone is worth forgoing the window sills!!!

and she always folds the loo roll ends in a nice way and organises my shoes for me, I never asked her to either. It's those little touches I love. And she can put away 6 dc's clothes without anything going in the wrong place ( bloody impressive in itself).
I'm sure she would like to have the time to dust the window sills too. We are probably both looking forlornly at the window sills on a daily basis !!!

If she ever tries to leave I will hold her prisoner.

mine does 13 hours a week,from top to bottom.she does really sweet arrangements on dds beds with their soft toys,last week they were all in a circle having a picnic.

sshnaps - how many of the 13 hours was she arranging the picnic (when she could have been making arrow heads on the loo roll!!?)???

i wouldn't expect my cleaner to deal with this, as it wouldn't leave her enough time to clean the rest of the house. in fact, i've often been doing the dishes when she arrives . if they want you to clean up this kind of mess, i think a frank discussion about your duties is required. they can't leave additional mess and expect the same service! personally, i'd be embarrassed to leave the place in such a state... but i suspect this is just me.

although she does sometimes do the dishwasher when i have been a lazy cow a little disorganised.

Several things to say.

First, it is true some people live in pigsties!

Second, on the other hand, they pay per hour of work and not according to what kind of job you do. Washing up, clearing the table, cleaning the stove is still cleaning so if they are paying you, where is the problem? Of course you will not be able to do something else, but hey, you can ask them "waht do u want me to do today? " and if they say "tidy up the mess after our dinner party" you will not, for example, wash the bathroom.

addicted,quite a while i suspect,she even had the tea cups/saucers from the downstairs play room. clearly alot of thought went into it. she likes to put sunglasses on teddies aswell.

13 hours of housekeeping/cleaning a week? I do ours, I'm about 12 hours short by all accounts.

Mind you, I'm only jealous, I'd love to have someone to come in every day to sort us out.

I have had my cleaner for about 6 months and it has not been a good relationship. She doesn't arrive when I asked, she is always early which means I have not had a chance to do some tidying up after the school run. We do always clear up the playroom the night before and I pick up any washing, hide pile cream, clear breakfast etc.

I find it very difficult to ask her to do things other than light hoovering and straightening up. When I do pluck up the courage to ask her to do things like wiping the plate in the microwave and polishing the burners on the cooker she does them but not again without me asking. I have asked her to use stone floor cleaner on the kitchen floor as it is waxed but she always uses the flash that is for the bathrooms. She repeatedly puts things in my bedside table drawers despite me asking her not to open the drawers of my bedside table (not that there is anything exciting in there just feels wrong).

I have always carried on thinking that what she was doing was acceptable and not really knowing what to do about it but after reading this thread I think it is time to find someone new. I don't ask her to change beds or anything other than light cleaning. I am about to have my third child and it would be a great help to have someone change the beds. What have I been doing all this time?

I think it is time to get a new person and as a previous poster replied have a check list of things I would like done every week and then those chores that are for if there is any extra time.

I am sorry to hijack this thread a bit but OP I think if you are not happy with them then leave.

Thanks ladies.

Lucyinthepie - tell me more about these magic cloths! Shower screens scare me a bit - I've only ever had a shower/curtain/bath combo myself so I've never had to deal with screens..... I've just started cleaning for people and although I get them clean, I long to be able to make them really sparkle.

And speaking of good cloths/products, my friend showed me a can of Mr Sheen "Specialist" Metal Polish last week; she demo'd it on her elderly kettle and I've never been so impressed with anything in my life. Naturally I can't find any anywhere - I reckon it's been discontinued. What products do you reckon are best for various jobs? Ta

cutiecat sounds like you and your cleaner aren't a good fit.

I'd find someone else.

My cleaner enrichs my life considerably. She is a total star and I love coming home on teh days when she has been. She has also been really helpful whilst I've been incapacitated with a bad back and has done lots of extrastuff for me.

The only thing that i would complain about is that sometimes when she tidies up instead of piling things she puts them 'away' in random places eg. i lost my USB stick and still haven't found it, and my nail scissors were MIA for weeks until I found them in my desk drawer (obv. scissors = desk !)

She cleans for a few of my friends and GOK what she makes of us (probably that we are overpaid spoilt women TBH).

Never had any problems with cleaners apart from a blip for six months because one kept tidying inside cupboards rather than cleaning and I couldn't find anything. Have had mine for several years at a time. Have always had very clear expectations:

Sweep hall, kitchen, utility floors and mop
Hoover all carpets
dust and polish (every other week)
wipe kitchen cupboards down
wipe bannisters, fingerplates, dado rails and light switches (every other week)
clean loos and bathrooms (3 bathrooms + 2 extra loos)

Generally the childrens' rooms also get a bit of a tidy too, ie, transferring clothes from the wardrobe on the floor!

Certainly would not expect my cleaners to do any washing up or cooker cleaning.

All of that takes three hours - sometimes 15 minutes more, sometimes 15 minutes less.

Bit different at present my cleaner is living rent free in the spare room and doing all of the above, a daily tidy round and the diswasher, the laundry and cooking tea for the dc twice a week (work full time and dh working abroad Mon-Fri). It helps us all out.

Cutiecat, a written list would help you enormously and would take the embarassment of asking someone to do something out of the equation, do you want me to send across our list? It may not be ideal but at least you can alter it.

I would also say that you do need a different cleaner. Cleaning is like any other job where some people are brilliant at knowing what needs to be done, well worth paying over their standard rate, other people just haven't got the knack. I would recommend going through an agency if you are the type of person who doesn't like confrontation, as if it isn't working out then you can move on to another cleaner without the hassle.

Can I just say that Lucieinthepie sounds fab and if she lives in Scotland I would be on the phone to her in a minute ( although she may not want me as a client ) as she obviously takes a pride in her work and sourcing the best appliances and items to use.
The OP would just be a big no no to me and clearly wouldn't want to do my house anyway, so we are in complete agreement on something, as swearing about clients especially in a title just seems like she doesn't respect any of her customers, and if I was one of her customers, even if I had a tidy house that met the standards required, I'd be very wary of having someone in who badmouthed customers so publicly.

It would take me a long time to travel to Scotland... but thanks for the nice comment. I'm in Kent and seriously, I have a waiting list!

Magic cloths cgi.ebay.co.uk/MAGIC-WINDOW-GLASS-CAR-POLISHING-CLOTH-NO-SMEARS-/220752592932?pt=UK_CarsParts_Vehicles_CarParts_SM&hash=item3365e14024

E Cloths are quite good as well (see Ebay), I use them as well but I like my little magic cloths and keep one hanging out of my back pocket for glass and other things that need to look sparkly.

So, if you're doing a shower screen once a week, Cillit Bang normally gets the limescale off, then rinse that away with clean water. Take off the excess water with your squeegy thing (everyone has a squeegy thing right?) and then polish it up with your Magic Cloth. Voila!

To make metal shiny find some Bar Keepers Friend, but use carefully because it's abrasive. A bit like old-fashioned Vim.

My tip is to have a spare cloth, I use an old discloths or towels that go in the wash after each clean. When you clean anything that is left wet, dry it off with your towel . It sounds daft, but it looks much more impressive than leaving water marks and takes seconds.

I agree with Sea74, OP. If you're paid on an hourly basis, just ask them what they want doing that day. So if they say for example, to clean the kitchen, and it's a bombsite, and you're only there for 2 hours, explain to them that you might only get the kitchen done in that time as it looks like it's going to be a lengthy job.

omg rookiemater get a grip, like my client is going to know i have been "badmouthing" her, even if she read this, my profile's blank and i obviously haven't (and wouldn't) name her or my cleaning company fgs whats the matter love, have i hit a nerve because you live like a dirty slob? you're damn right i wouldn't clean for you :o

superv1xen - I think your OP is hilarious. Look around MN and you might find a thread with an OP from your client "Is my cleaner a princess?"

YABU. If you don't want the job - quit.

I once employed a woman whose "first job on the list" was to do my mountain of washing up. If she'd not wanted my money she was more than welcome to go elsewhere.

As others have said - I don't pay someone to flick a duster around a clean house.

Maybe we should get a cleaner too - but trying to get the DS' to learn all domestic duties - cheaper for us and they are ready for the real world....