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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that next year I'll send the fucking flowers on Friday or not at all?

36 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/04/2011 17:55

Still steaming after phone conversation with my mother last night. I had ordered flowers for her for Mothers' Day and had arranged for them to be delivered (at extra charge) on Sunday, so they arrived on the actual day.

So she said "Oh I didn't go into town on Saturday as I thought you'd send flowers and I would wait in until they had come. They hadn't come by mid afternoon and I didn't know whether to go into town or not, and then Brenda came for a coffee and asked if she could see your flowers (FFS!) and it was so embarrassing, as I had to say they hadn't arrived. So anyway, she left at six, and said, well they won't be delivered now, she must have forgotten. And then your Auntie Elsie rang in the evening and wanted to know what your flowers were like and I felt really awful when I said that you hadn't sent any. And I was there all night on my own, wondering what had happened to my flowers, and if you had forgotten. Anyway, I was up early on the Sunday, and your Auntie Madge rang and asked what flowers I had got, and I had to say, you hadn't sent any. Anyway, I was on the phone, and the doorbell went, so I said I had to go and on the doorstep was the man with your flowers. They were quite nice, but the roses weren't pink, and I don't suppose they will last very long...."

And she hasn't called anyone in the family to say they turned up, so her sisters think I am shit and forgot mothers' day.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 04/04/2011 17:59

Her sisters probably know what a moaning bugger she is Grin

ENormaSnob · 04/04/2011 17:59

I wouldn't bother next year.

Is she normally so ungrateful?

TeacupTempest · 04/04/2011 17:59

She sounds like very hard work!!!

NigellaTufnel · 04/04/2011 18:00

Don't send them at all. what an ingrate!

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 04/04/2011 18:00

Yes, Norma. She always asks for "Something from Marks so that I can change it" for her birthday.

OP posts:
d0gFace · 04/04/2011 18:01

yanbu

Tell her to grow up and not to be so ungrateful.

Or do what Id do and just put up with it until she moves on to something else to complain about.

ENormaSnob · 04/04/2011 18:01

I definately wouldn't bother then.

lizardqueenie · 04/04/2011 18:01

Oh maaaan! I say send the flowers to yourself! give her something to actually moan about Grin

saffy85 · 04/04/2011 18:05

Either don't send any at all or hand deliver them yourself. And shove them somewhere where the sun doesn't shine. Blardy hell! I thought it was meant to be young people who had no manners! Hmm

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 04/04/2011 18:06

Trouble is, I always get the grief as I am her only child. I should rise above it, I know, but it really pissed me off!

OP posts:
WassaAxolotl · 04/04/2011 18:06

Could "You brought me up to say thank you politely" work in future?

Whether she actually did or not is irrelevant, because I expect she likes to think of herself as having been absolutely wonderful at parenting. Grin

You poor thing. What ingratitude.

hillyhilly · 04/04/2011 18:07

Are you my sil? My mil is exactly like this! Thought she was one of a kind

Bloodymary · 04/04/2011 18:09

Oh you poor thing, yes deffo send them on Fri. or Sat. next year.
Cheaper delivery as well Wink

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 04/04/2011 18:10

I will send on Friday and hope they are crisp and brown by Sunday.

OP posts:
trumpton · 04/04/2011 18:14

I actually said to MIL on Sunday " The words you are searching for are thank you " She had the grace to laugh at herself . Grin ( We get on very well by the way )

herbietea · 04/04/2011 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lilyliz · 04/04/2011 20:14

send them a week early next year and tell her it's so she can tell everyone in time for mothers day.

BellaMagnificat · 04/04/2011 20:27

Umm... are we sisters? grin]

kitbit · 04/04/2011 20:32

Send her Markies vouchers next year so she can buy her own flowers or swap them as she wishes.
Or send her an Oxfam goat.
Rude woman Angry

OpheliaBumps · 04/04/2011 20:35

MrsS until you said you were an only child, I was convinced you were my sister!

My mum has the same gracious response to gifts. The thing is she brought us up to behave much better - it must be an age thing!

louloudia · 04/04/2011 20:40

lol you should get her to post on here

there is an ongoing competition as to who had the shittest pressie/worst day :)

Northeastgirl · 04/04/2011 20:46

Ouch - how rude and ungrateful. Still if it's that important you can have them delivered earlier next year and it'll be cheaper for you. I think this reflects worse on her than on you.

WassaAxolotl · 04/04/2011 22:54

If your aunts' opinions matter to you, you could ring one up, under the guise of discussing your mother's mental health/being a concerned daughter.
"Have you noticed her being more forgetful lately? It seems she forgot Mothers' Day was on a Sunday. She thought I'd forgotten to send anything. Imagine that!"

However, this could have the effect of making everyone incredibly worried if they take you seriously.

WassaAxolotl · 04/04/2011 22:58

Or, just ring and be upfront about it. "Aunt Mavis, contrary to reports, I did send flowers."

BellaMagnificat · 04/04/2011 23:27

Well, I made a Horlicks of it and she is making a huge issue. Ordered her flowers after office hours on Fri from an internet site I have never used before.

Failed to read the smallprint saying they would be delivered next working weekday.

Rang yesterdy to check they had arrived. Frosty negative response and was given extravagnt description of the beeyootifull flowers neighbour lady had had delivered. Apologised. Explained.

She rang again this eve to say they STILL had not arrived and was clearly very angry.

Will play hell with the company.

And this is the woman who taught me how WRONG it was EVER to expect ANYTHING from ANYBODY.

Grrrrr