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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its too much for a 12 year old to wear foundation

29 replies

vaginiasmonalogue · 03/04/2011 13:00

Surely!?

My 12 year old has been wearing it for a few days now, literally plastered on. Don't even know where she got it from. I've gently suggested tinted moisturuser/concealer (her skin is fine btw) but no, she thinks it looks good but I don't think it's needed or really appropriate... am I just old???

OP posts:
worraliberty · 03/04/2011 13:02

No, I agree but she's only 12 and you're her mother.

Why do you allow her to plaster make up on when you're not happy about it? Confused

FabbyChic · 03/04/2011 13:02

No you aren't old, there is no need for her to be wearing it at aged 12, maybe her friends do, you should tell her that it clogs up pores and can cause spots.

sue52 · 03/04/2011 13:04

No, not a full face of make up at 12.

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 03/04/2011 13:06

What kind is she wearing?

IMO a complete ban could be counterproductive. Better to show her how to apply it, talk about the different options out there to achieve different looks etc and what suits different skin.

You could tell her to go and scrub her face but teaching her about make up and negotiating boundaries for experimentation is better in the long run both for her looks and your relationship!

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 03/04/2011 13:07

Also try taking her to see a (pre-briefed) make up counter assistant - even in Boots - who will tell her with the voice of authority what you want that she's lucky to have such lovely fresh skin and all she needs is a very light tinted moisturiser.

Original poster
vaginiasmonalogue · 03/04/2011 13:12

I agree, to ban make up would be counter productive. I have no objection to a bit of mascara and blusher on meals out etc.

I think the 'it will give you spots' route is the route I will take and at the end of the day she is 12, I think there should be plenty of other things to occupy her other than plastering on the slap lol

OP posts:
worraliberty · 03/04/2011 13:15

Then perhaps you should take her to buy some make up and teach her how to apply it if you're ok with her wearing it.

Really there's nothing worse than some of the orange children I see around here....they look like they've simply thrown a bag of make up into the air and walked underneath it Smile

Icelollycraving · 03/04/2011 13:17

It's not a case of needing at 12! Make sure she has a good cleansing routine though because cheap foundations are full of mineral oil & crap. If it bothers you,get her makeup done somewhere & buy a few good quality products,maybe for her next birthday. I loved makeup before 12 but used to put it on on the bus :) I've been a manager for a cosmetics company for years after being a makeup artist so maybe she has talent (well hidden at this stage!)

sloggies · 03/04/2011 13:17

Difficult this - most people can get away with a small amount of foundation. Cover the bits of the face that need it - usually the T zone (nose, and accross forehead. A properly matched foundation colour will be as near to possible to your own skin tone, so should blend in, and not be too obvious. Could you do this for her, to get her on side? Btw, clean fingers blend as well as anything else, there's just no profit in them!

midori1999 · 03/04/2011 14:49

I have a friend who is usually wearing so much fake tan she's the colour of David Dickenson/Dale Winton and has it all patchy on her hands and is also always plastered in make up. It looks awful.

Her now 13 year old daughter has been looking similar since she was 12, although not so much fake tan (it is obvious though) and thick, thick foundation and powder. She is such a pretty girl with beautiful skin, no spots at all and I think she looks much better au naturel.

I think it's common for a lot of young girls when they start experimenting with make up. I certaily wear much, much less now than I did as a teen. I think a make up lesson at somewhere a bit trendy like Benefit or Mac where you pay a fee and then they get to choose some of the make up used to the value of the cost of the makeover is a really great idea.

(I have the opposite problem, getting my teenage son to wash his face, let alone shower or wash his hair is a task in itself! Grin )

emsyj · 03/04/2011 15:04

I don't think it's a big deal but then I wore a lot of makeup at that age too.

Please don't tell her it will give her spots. I hate it when acne myths are perpetuated - as a long-term sufferer myself there's nothing worse than people thinking that if you would just have a good wash your skin would clear up. This sort of thing caused me endless heartache as a very very very spotty kid (and very spotty adult, up to about age 27).

Sad sorry that hit a big nerve with me

Original poster
vaginiasmonalogue · 03/04/2011 15:15

Oooh I had acne too, really bad. And I did think Make up made it worse Confused

Aside from the make up issue, I'm concerned for all my kids in case they get the skin I had. Does anything really work for spots. I had to tale Dianette pill which is the only yjing that helped really.

OP posts:
SherlockMoans · 03/04/2011 15:17

If it makes her feel more confident then I dont think it will hurt as long as its not too in your face and tbh the more you are against it the more it will appeal to her, specially if all her friends use it.

You could try mixing a small blob with moisturiser to make it more natural - personally I prefer the all in one pressed powder/foundations, you can just put a tiny bit on to take the shine off without looking too "made up"

emsyj · 03/04/2011 15:18

I think oil-based foundation can block pores and cause blackheads, but spots are hormonal (which is why Dianette is an effective treatment). Your DD wearing makeup won't make any difference as to whether she gets acne later on.

I worry about DD inheriting my skin, but if she does I will make sure she gets treatment for it rather than just telling her that it's her own fault for eating sweets and wearing makeup like my DM did to me....

worraliberty · 03/04/2011 15:20

Be careful what you mix together though.

When I was 18, I had two foundations..one was too dark and one too light. I mixed them together and after a couple of days, the skin under my eyes was bright red and very sore. No realising it was the foundations, I put more and more on to cover the redness.

I started a new job that week and the boss asked me if I'd been crying Blush

thumbwitch · 03/04/2011 15:26

Yes it's too much and ugh.
No need for her to wear full facial make up at that age, surely.

Spots are mostly a result of increased hormones (androgenic hormones) coupled with bacterial overgrowth and other factors - but hormones that can be affected by diet in most cases. Reducing the sugar content of the diet can help reduce the spots in most cases (but not all) by reducing the risk of excess insulin in the blood, as insulin can promote cell proliferation (a causative factor of spots, along with the bacterial overgrowth, in Acne vulgaris).

TheCrackFox · 03/04/2011 15:40

Oh, i do feel sorry for teenage girls (and in this case pre-teen). They are always heartbreakingly beautiful but just don't know it, hence, the need to trowel the makeup on.

In 20 yrs time she will look at photos of her 12 yr old self and feel incredulous that she ever felt so ugly.

Don't know what the answer is.

welshbyrd · 03/04/2011 16:42

My DD 12, 13 in May, has tried the 3inch thick foundation, dollied up to the eye balls, with me, she came down the stairs, I seen her face and sent her straight back up them

Im not old fashioned, or I would not even say overly strict, even be known to allow her to wear a pair of heels etc to a disco/party. But foundation/to much make up on a 12 year old, really does look awfwl
We spoke about this, and agreed a little lip hint/gloss, is more than enough, at her age.
This happened last year sometime, The last 6 months she does not wear any make up at all, due to her choice

jenniec79 · 03/04/2011 16:46

I wore much more makeup at 12-15 than I do now at 32. (Then: concealer, foundation, eyeshadow, mascara, blush, lippy/lipgloss and nail varnish; Now: tinted miosuriser +/- concealer, mascara lipgloss and even then not for everyday!)

Being "banned" made me wear more, and put it on with a crappy mirror at school!

Skinit · 03/04/2011 16:47

My Mum hid mine when I was about the same age...thank God! I looked awful! My friends Step Daughter is also 12 and covers herself in the stuff....it looks so wrong on her lovely little face.

MarianneM · 03/04/2011 16:48

Foundation always looks awful, however "invisible" or "natural" it's meant to look...it doesn't!

Skinit · 03/04/2011 16:48

It's a "look" she's going for...a typical glam look that she sees on the Kardashians and Cheryl Cole. Can you point out the looks of some more natural beatiful women such as the younger Kardashian sister...the one who'se 14....and also Avril Lavigne who's more surfer chick but still wears makeup?

missmyoldname · 03/04/2011 16:54

Iirc I started wearing foundation BIG TIME when I was about 14. I plastered it on, and my mum kept telling me it was too much, and that she could see an orange line. I paid absolutely no attention to her, and I look back now and cringe!

However, 12 does seem a bit young. I would however let my DD wear it once she got to an age wear she had bad spots, as I remember the horrible feeling of waking up spotty and then thanking god for the cover stick!

Oblomov · 03/04/2011 17:06

We all agree that less is more, but no 12 year old will take any notice of our wisdom. So I agree with some of the first posters, that the woman at the beauty counter is your best bet. Pop in there beforehand asnd tell her what you want her to tell your dd , on the day, (i.e. that your dd doesn't need it, just a bit of this and that).

redpanda13 · 03/04/2011 17:20

Ditto taking her to see someone at a beauty counter. Most of the brands have a range of mineral foundations which are much more subtle. I use one as I suffer from rosacea.

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