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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how one kid can trap another in a corner with a BB gun for three hours without the parents noticing

99 replies

ElenStone · 02/04/2011 22:27

Today DS went to a friends house around the corner to play, he forgot to take his phone but as I thought I knew where he was and thought he was safe, I didn't panic. When an hour and a half had gone by I was expecting him to check in and after two hours I started to panic and we started looking for him. We couldn't find him anywhere, just as I was about to call the police he arrived back home and I found out that he and his friend had called in on a friend from school on their way back and a teenage kid had been firing at him from an upstairs flat with a BB gun and had trapped him behind a trampoline, threatening to shoot him. He's only eleven ... he was there for three hours and was so terrified he literally crapped himself.

I'm furious, how can something like that happen? If parents know their kids and another kid are playing together in the garden, you'd think they'd check on them from time to time to make sure they were ok. I'm sure that's not an unreasonable expectation.

DS doesn't want to take it any further as the kid was told off. Not a hope. First thing tomorrow I'm going around there to find out the name of the kid and I'm having him arrested. And I will be pressing charges.

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SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 03/04/2011 19:44

I would not go and speak to the boy's parents. If you do manage to get the police to actually do something it may prejudice the outcome.

Summerbird73 · 03/04/2011 19:48

YY sarah i thought that too - they might well be confrontational and on top of prejudicing the case you really have had enough upset over the last 24h

womma · 03/04/2011 20:31

What a terrible and fundamentally wrong attitude from the police, it really is a disgrace. Thank god you've got your head screwed on the right way, and it's wonderful that your DS can see that you're doing this for him.

We're cheering you on! And please give your boy an extra big cuddle from us too

ElenStone · 03/04/2011 20:51

Yes, the pooey pants really got to me too. Imagining him along and that scared really upset me.

I can't speak to the boys parents as it didn't happen at his house and I don't know his surname/where he lives and I doubt the police would tell me. I've raised a complaint with the police inspector on duty though, he sent a different officer around to take a photo of DS's eye and speak to his friend and get her side of the story. The inspector in charge of the officer and sergeant I've spent the day arguing with will be calling me tomorrow. I'll be asking her why one of her sergeants stated to me that they don't have to follow NSPCC guidelines or current legislation on children's rights (or even take them into account) when making their decisions and why an officer who clearly hasn't had any training in dealing with children or any sensitivity training was sent to my home to interview DS.

The laws that apply to children are different specifically because they're more vulnerable, the police of all people should understand that and take child victims more seriously.

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ElenStone · 04/04/2011 17:20

Just thought I'd updatel, because we've made some really good progress today. I've spoken to my local MP's PA and they're going to speak to the police constable at the station and take the issue of legislation to parliament. I've also spoken to the local paper, they've assigned the story to a reporter and he's going to speak to the police and get back to us, so hopefully they'll run the story and the operational sergeant at the station is coming out tomorrow afternoon to take my complaint.

So, it looks very much as if their failure to take what happened seriously is going to have some strong repercussions. Knowing that seems to be helping DS not feel like as much of a victim, which is so important for getting over things like that. So, I'm happier now too :)

Thanks everyone for all your advice and support, it's really made a difference.

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saggarmakersbottomknocker · 04/04/2011 17:30

Elen - have the police had sight of the gun at all? The legislation is already in place as a 14-17 year old has to be supervised with a BB gun. They just need to act on it.

LoopyLoopsChupaChups · 04/04/2011 17:38

:) Glad to read your update.

RJRabbit · 04/04/2011 17:38

Good on you! [claps]

ElenStone · 04/04/2011 18:22

They have ... it turned out it was two guns! A handgun style and a rifle style BB gun. The parents of the boy the wannebe sniper was visiting told them that they had been present and supervising and that it had just been a game. It's insane that they believed that. It's insane that any kid at that age would be allowed to go and visit a friend with two guns, too!

The MP will be pointing out the relevant legislation to them, they also said they'd be raising the issue at the Home Office, which I think will mean consequences for the Officer and Sergeant involved as well as action to increase awareness within the police force that children are subject to different considerations under the law and incidents involving children need to be dealt with according those guidelines. Which will make me very pleased :)

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FrameyMcFrame · 04/04/2011 18:42

Well done Elen, the police will be regretting not taking you seriously now :)

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 04/04/2011 18:43

Glad you didn't just sit back and accept it Elen.

This was my dd's friend. This was an air gun not BB gun but just the next step up for someone who is badly supervised and finds it fun to mess around with them.

Disgusting that the adults with that boy think it's just a game.

ElenStone · 04/04/2011 18:58

That's awful, it scares me that if that (metal) pellet had hit him on the eye the consequences would probably have been the same for DS.

Well done to your friend for managing to make such an important change in legislation, she should be proud! If I manage to accomplish anything like that I'll be over the moon.

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welshbyrd · 04/04/2011 19:03

Fantastic to hear people are starting to listen

Well done Elen!!

browneyesblue · 04/04/2011 19:17

You've done brilliantly!! I was really sad to hear that the police officer who came round was so crap, but well done for not taking no for an answer.

You've set a fantastic example for your DS :)

womma · 04/04/2011 20:02

Brilliant news - so glad you took this further, and kicked some arse!

legoqueen · 04/04/2011 20:48

That's great news - well done!

Plumm · 04/04/2011 21:07

Well done for taking this further. I hope your DS is feeling better about it all now.

ElenStone · 04/04/2011 23:04

Thanks everyone :)

He's feeling much better about it now, which is a huge relief. I think a lot of the damage that being a victim of violent crime does is because of that feeling of being a victim and being powerless, but DS doesn't feel that now, so I think this is really helping him move on without and long-term effects and that's a huge relief.

I still wish I could see the look on those officers faces when that Chief Constable gets a call from the MP though! Ah well, can't have it all I guess!

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Summerbird73 · 05/04/2011 09:04

elen i just read your recent update - fantastic news - well done you. I agree you have set an amazing example to your DS. Glad he is feeling better too Smile

Ripeberry · 05/04/2011 17:11

Back in the late 80s I was walking in the woods with my brother (I was 14yrs old and he was 11yrs old) and then this younger child came towards us with an air rifle and after he passed us, he shot at us!
I so wanted to wrap that gun around his head [grr], he ran off as I chased after him, he thought he was invincible but could not reload fast enough.

ElenStone · 05/04/2011 17:14

I bet he tried that on the wrong person eventually ripeberry, violent people always pick on the wrong person sooner or later.

DS is doing absolutely fine today. He's been making some latex moulds of ammonite fossils with DP for me to make fine silver ammonite beads and he's just designed a photo frame with fimo ammonites he wants to make, so he's definitely back to his old self, which is great to see! I can't wait to play with those beads either! I think the shop are going to love the new designs, which may mean an extra weekend by the sea for the family this Summer.

So, all's well that ends well :)

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aliceliddell · 05/04/2011 17:25

hope ds is ok now. just told my dp, we both think the boy with the gun has committed a serious offence and should definitely be reported to police; he is dangerous. So are his parents. what about the adults you believed were looking after ds? Are they taking any action?

podsquash · 05/04/2011 18:59

wow, so inspired by your reaction to police. Way to go! Glad your DS is better today.

ElenStone · 05/04/2011 19:48

The adults whose house he were at backed up the story the boy who shot at him gave, I'd imagine because their son was egging him on ...

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