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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how one kid can trap another in a corner with a BB gun for three hours without the parents noticing

99 replies

ElenStone · 02/04/2011 22:27

Today DS went to a friends house around the corner to play, he forgot to take his phone but as I thought I knew where he was and thought he was safe, I didn't panic. When an hour and a half had gone by I was expecting him to check in and after two hours I started to panic and we started looking for him. We couldn't find him anywhere, just as I was about to call the police he arrived back home and I found out that he and his friend had called in on a friend from school on their way back and a teenage kid had been firing at him from an upstairs flat with a BB gun and had trapped him behind a trampoline, threatening to shoot him. He's only eleven ... he was there for three hours and was so terrified he literally crapped himself.

I'm furious, how can something like that happen? If parents know their kids and another kid are playing together in the garden, you'd think they'd check on them from time to time to make sure they were ok. I'm sure that's not an unreasonable expectation.

DS doesn't want to take it any further as the kid was told off. Not a hope. First thing tomorrow I'm going around there to find out the name of the kid and I'm having him arrested. And I will be pressing charges.

OP posts:
hecate · 03/04/2011 12:21

Complain. I am fairly sure that legally they cannot do that. He's a minor. They can't deal with him directly without informing a parent. I am fairly sure they aren't allowed to question a minor without a parent, guardian or someone present.

I think they are fobbing you off.

Abcinthia · 03/04/2011 12:28

I agree with hecate - I'd complain. It sounds utterly horrifying and I think the police should be taking more of an interest.

worraliberty · 03/04/2011 12:34

I didn't think he was with any friends at the time because they'd left him alone in the garden to go and play Britain's got talent? Confused

I'd also be asking his friends why they left him alone for 3hrs.

TheSecondComing · 03/04/2011 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ElenStone · 03/04/2011 12:42

I've been round to speak to DS's friend and her mum and apparently when they came back into the garden the boy asked them to move so he could shoot DS. She also said DS got shot in the eye ... he has a mark on his eye consistent with that, but he says he didn't get shot, so I'm not sure about that. DS's friend said it was only around 40 minutes, I guess it felt longer for DS.

I've asked for the sergeant to call me back when he's out of a meeting. I'm going to insist they take a statement from DS's friend and arrest the boy. I kinda feel sorry for his mum if they arrest him today though :(

OP posts:
Original poster
ElenStone · 03/04/2011 12:46

Sorry, it was DS ... I'm not with it at the moment, I'm sooo tired. Blush

I did consider that, but the fact he'd poo'ed in his pants made me doubt it strongly. He wouldn't be that scared of being late home. I feel for your friend, what an awful situation. I think sometimes kids don't think about the consequences of lying.

OP posts:
SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 03/04/2011 12:50

Mummy should watch her budding psychopath more carefully then.

LoopyLoopsChupaChups · 03/04/2011 12:52

Oh, I'm so sorry they have been rubbish today. I agree with the others, you have to make a fuss. Let us know how you get on, and try and enjoy today as much as you can. If they don't take your complaint seriously, do talk about a formal complain against the police, social services being involved and involving the media. It may be worth ringing your local MP.

Original poster
ElenStone · 03/04/2011 13:11

That was my though too Sarah.

If they don't do anything I'll definitely be taking it further and definitely involving the media, social services and my local MP. There's no way I'm going to let a kid get away with shooting at DS because a policeman stereotyped us as inferior to his family. It's ironic that he applied the same logic the landed gentry used to apply to justify shooting the lower classes and then told me they didn't want to be draconian. Twit.

OP posts:
Summerbird73 · 03/04/2011 13:20

i am sorry to be gross here but have you kept DS's pooey pants? might be worth keeping them in a sealed bag and using them as evidence. as you say no 11 year old will poo his pants for no reason. i dont know if it will help (some of the lawyers on here may advise)

another authority for you to consider is the IPCC - Independent Police Complaints Commission. Basically it is the police regulatory authority.

Good luck

eragon · 03/04/2011 13:33

i am not surprised nothing happened, my son was chased by a 'friend' with a kitchen knife up the street. police more or less said it was our sons fault.

MillsAndDoom · 03/04/2011 13:40

Oh Elen - your poor DS - well done you for showing your son that you will stand up for him and not tolerate this type of behaviour.

Please do take this further with the Police.

Original poster
ElenStone · 03/04/2011 14:16

My god eragon, that's shocking.

I've put them his pants in the bin, but I could retrieve them if I have to.

I've spoken to the Sergeant who said that because it's "he said, she said" they won't be arresting anyone. I've pointed out that DS was in shock when he came home and poo'ed his pants, which is certainly objective evidence - if it was a game, or they weren't shooting near him, that wouldn't have been the case. I've also pointed out that the people they spoke to were the boy, his friend (who it seems was egging him on) and the friends family - all of whom have a reason to lie. Whereas they haven't spoken to DS's friend, who doesn't know the boy involved and has no reason to lie (and didn't have a chance to get her story straight with DS before I spoke to her). I think it's ridiculous that the officer who came around this morning told me he'd spoken to her. What excellent skills of investigation he has, if he can't even say who he's spoken to. I've insisted they speak to her now.

I've argued that it's the responsobility of the police to enforce the UNCRC and that it supercedes local and national law, but he's refusing to even look into it.
I'm going to ring the NSPCC for some advice on that ...

OP posts:
Summerbird73 · 03/04/2011 14:27

do you know the name of the WPC you spoke to last night? she sounded sympathetic.

Original poster
ElenStone · 03/04/2011 14:58

Unfortunately not. I was so focused on DS I forgot to ask.

The NSPCC have confirmed that the police should understand their responsobilities and the boy should have been arrested. They're going to contact them tomorrow and advise that they investigate further and take action. Hopefully, that'll have some impact.

OP posts:
dittany · 03/04/2011 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ElenStone · 03/04/2011 15:21

I hope not, if I find out anything like that happened I'll sue the officer, the family and hang the local police out to dry. I'm so angry they haven't taken this seriously. DS is so upset that they accused him of lying and that they're just letting this kid get away with it. It's awful to give a kid the idea that it's fine for them to go through something like that, because their parents don't have as much money/local status.

OP posts:
AnyoneforTurps · 03/04/2011 15:25

How about contacting victim support too? They may be able to advise on how to get the police to take this more seriously. (sorry if ths has already been suggested - haven't got time to read the whole thread)

www.victimsupport.org.uk/

Onetoomanycornettos · 03/04/2011 15:35

Elen, so sorry to hear about what happened to your son, totally agree with your actions, a quiet word is not enough, not enough at all. You are handling this incredibly well. Hope it goes ok in the next few days.

RunAwayWife · 03/04/2011 15:36

Make sure you involve the police

worraliberty · 03/04/2011 15:42

I wonder if you and your DH should go and have a word with the boy's parents? They might not be as hostile as you assume?

I still think there's more to this and I really don't know why.

Even if the 3hrs has turned into 40 minutes, I would still be asking the two girls why they left him in the garden for even that amount of time. Also, why didn't one of them contact the parents whose garden he was in? Confused

welshbyrd · 03/04/2011 16:36

Just sending some support for you and your DS Elen

And let you know, of a similar issue where I live, it resulted in a boy losing his sight in one eye, the boy was just 11.

Dont let the police sweep this under the carpet, stand firm, and shout, scream at chat to all who will listen

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 03/04/2011 17:00

It certainly does need addressing by the police in a more proactive manner.

My dd's friend was killed by a shot from an air-rifle.

Whilst a BBgun is different the fact that he enjoyed frightening your ds with it shouldn't be taken lightly.

oldraver · 03/04/2011 17:49

So if someone reported to the police as it was happening that someone was shooting a gun from a window and had trapped a young boy.... what would their response of been ?

Summerbird73 · 03/04/2011 19:38

3 hours or 40 minutes - it doesnt make a ha'porth of difference. those 40 mins must have felt like a lifetime for your DS.

you know what gets me most - the pooey pants (sorry to raise that again). It just goes to show how bloody scared he was Sad I am so sorry for you all Elen, i admire your resolve though, i would feel the same.

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