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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to decide to not talk to DH at all tonight, just so we dont row about money

39 replies

napoleona · 01/04/2011 18:37

I'm dreading 7 o'clock (DH will be home). It is his little brother's birthday tomorrow and i bought him a CD. It was £9. We never treat his little brother. But when DH sees it he will go ape. This is because it is nearly 2 weeks til next pay day and we have £250 to last us (for food, fares etc). I think ''yep we can easily make it with that money, i did a big meat shop so we have a few days meat already'' but DH thinks ''aaaarrgggh stupid woman wasting money''. So, i am thinking of not talking to him tonight. Hot bath, early night for me. Or should i front up to the money argument? BTW , he is always like this , every single month, i feel 'bad' for our money not going far enough (??) as i am in charge of bills etc they all come out of my account. Also BTW, DH drinks a bottle of wine a night. If he didnt, that would save £50 a month.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 01/04/2011 18:40

YABU - you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around him over NINE pounds. Ridiculous - and not having a go at you by the way that is aimed at him. Please stand your ground and don't put up with shit over trivia like this. It's unacceptable that he should make you feel like this and you should tell him so.

TheVisitor · 01/04/2011 18:42

It'd save you more than £50 a month. Think three times that if he spends a fiver per bottle. He's the one pissing away money. Tell him that if he's so stressed about money, then he needs to cut back on his drinking.

Original poster
napoleona · 01/04/2011 18:42

cheers Lube, cant really be arsed, its a a petty petty argument which will result in a bad atmosphere, i am working tomorrow and he is out tomorrow night so i wont even see him much tomorrow and then it will all be blown over. til next time ha ha!!

OP posts:
Original poster
napoleona · 01/04/2011 18:43

ooops and i cant add up TheVisitor, i will certainly try to tell him that.

OP posts:
Scootergrrrl · 01/04/2011 18:44

A bottle a night? He'll be spending a lot more than £50 on that! My DH is a bit similar in that he has no idea how much thins actually cost and is amazed I cant feed all five of us for £15 a week like his mum did 30 years ago.

MrsStudMuffin · 01/04/2011 18:44

You would be better talking to him and working out how you can make your money go further than ignoring him so as to not have a row.

Original poster
napoleona · 01/04/2011 18:45

haha Scooter, if DH actually did the shopping he would realise that bread is no longer 15p a loaf!!

OP posts:
TragicallyHip · 01/04/2011 18:47

He will get the hump because you spent 9 pounds on his brother? He sounds like a right tight arse!

madonnawhore · 01/04/2011 18:47

A bottle of wine a night is a drinking problem.

Portofino · 01/04/2011 18:48

It's less about the money to me, than the fact that your dh thinks/refers to you as a "stupid woman". I would not put up with that.

Original poster
napoleona · 01/04/2011 18:49

trouble is MrsSM, we cant talk about money, we can only argue about money. we just have really different views. im more chilled, i just say oh well as long as we have food we will be ok, we can cut back this and that. DH flies off the handle, sulks, blames everyone else. oh well, here goes!

OP posts:
Original poster
napoleona · 01/04/2011 18:50

yes yes and yes to the last 3 of you there! got to go back later

OP posts:
Becaroooo · 01/04/2011 18:53

£9???

When I read the OP title I thought you had bought him a kindle or something!!!

Perhaps you should leave the grocery shopping to him for a month and see how he does? Also, a bottle of wine a night is exessive and I would guess that is why he "flies off the handle, sulks, blames everyone else"????????

He must be hungover every day!

Portofino · 01/04/2011 18:58

Becarooo, and speaking from personal experience - he is probably panicking about money as he knows full well that the wine costs more than £50 a month and is worried he might not be able to afford it. Op - I am sorry to say I think your problems go a bit deeper than you might think. Sad

mumblechum1 · 01/04/2011 19:00

He must be spending at least £150 per month on wine. that is absolutely ridiculous if money's tight.

Time for you to take control of the finances. We're comfortable financially but only buy a bottle of wine each for the weekend.

Apart from anything else, 5 or 6 units of alcohol every single night can not be good for him.

EricNorthmansMistress · 01/04/2011 19:08

He's spending a minimum of £140 a month on booze. He sounds like an alcoholic, controlling, nasty, mean man, who you are too scared to tell that you bought his brother a gift. Nothing about that sounds good love.

Becaroooo · 01/04/2011 19:12

portofino Sad Sorry to hear you have experience of this.

Have just been doing some mental arithmatic - not my forte!! - and surely its costing much much more than £50 per month for a bottle a day???? Did OP mean £50 per week????

sweetgilly · 01/04/2011 19:12

EricNorthmansMistress

Good post. I agree with you.

Portofino · 01/04/2011 19:32

Um - when I said personal experience - I actually meant me Blush. Though I actually did something about it.

Portofino · 01/04/2011 19:34

What's the phrase? "Protecting your supply"? It's on the AA definition list.

Original poster
napoleona · 01/04/2011 20:23

Thanks all of you, I waited upstairs so he saw the cd when he came in. Then he did say I shouldn't have bought it, but he also saw his bottle of wine, so he didn't get the hump. He is off out tomorrow night, and will need money for that too, so he can't moan. Wrt the alcoholism issue, I need to do something about it. And as we get nearer to pay day he will get more stressed , if he had to go without a drink he might combust! At least he didn't gey the hump, is that a terrible thing to think? I know I need to address things, just got a fair bit on my plate. Thanks all for reading. And im glad I got his bro a birthday present!

OP posts:
Niceguy2 · 01/04/2011 20:29

If he can't go without a bottle of wine then he's got a real problem. Actually you both do since you no doubt suffer as a result of his addiction.

NessyBay · 01/04/2011 20:33

tell him you got it on amazon for 3.99 Grin!!

minibmw2010 · 01/04/2011 20:35

So he only didn't get the hump because he spotted his bottle of wine at the same time? Classic alcoholic.

sweetgilly · 01/04/2011 20:36

napoleona

Point him in the direction of AA, seriously.