chipmonkey I feel like I'm stalking you these last few days, having just responded to you on the 'hopes for daughters' thread and on the rc thread yesterday, but this bit of your post was so interesting to me:
"I think in our culture, little girls are more valued than little boys. If you go into any high street shops, there are acres of cute clothes for little girls and very little for boys. Also, I have noticed that there is a pink version of everything but rarely a blue version. Mums of girls want to actively show that they have a girl, Mums' of boys tend to go for non-gender specific colours, so you have a bright pink version and then a lime-green-and-orange version"
That's such a different perspective than mine on the whole "pink-for-girls" thing! It's a view I never thought of and I can totally see your point. But as a mom to a dd, the fact that everything is pinkified for girls annoys the shit out of me. I'm trying to raise an adventurous, interested, capable person, not a pampered princess whose main concerns are looking pretty and shopping, and yet so many of the girls' clothes on offer are along the fluffy, frilly, impractical-for-play "princess in training" variety. I buy lots of stuff in the boys' departments. And regarding toys, I always buy the lime-green-and-orange (or preferably primary colours :) ) version, because it seems ridiculous to me that there's the 'normal' version, and then the version for girls. As if pink and purple are the only colours a girl should like, and the rest of the rainbow is for boys. Grrr. But your perspective makes sense too, and I can see how all the over-the-top marketing to princessy girls would be grating to someone with a ds (or four!). I know I've gone slightly off-topic but just wanted to respond to that bit of your post. It's good to see things from the other side!
For what it's worth, I'd love to have another child and if it happens I would be thrilled whatever the gender, but there is a small part of me that feels I'll have missed out on a really special experience if I never have a ds. So I can completely understand those feelings in reverse.
I can also understand why gender-preference threads cause anger and upset to some people, particularly those who have lost children. But people have a right to be honest about their feelings and to work through them, and if it helps, and as long as they're not being wilfully hurtful or insensitive, I don't think it's unreasonable at all to do so on a forum like this one.