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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the mother's day service at big school today was out of order being soooooo sexist?

71 replies

deaconblue · 01/04/2011 13:58

The children did a kind of poem thing that was all about mum being great at:
making beds
ironing
cooking
cleaning up after us
hugs and kisses (don't mind this bit but the rest has me going grrrrrrrrr)

was surprised that the female teachers hadn't tried a bit harder to get the children to appreciate their mums for stuff that was a little less Stepford Wife

OP posts:

Original poster

deaconblue · 01/04/2011 14:28

I have no intention of picking a fight with school about it. Jsut thought it was a shame that the teacher didn't take the opportunity to introduce some ideas other than household chores. I do all those jobs but I also tell great stories, make up fun games, push ds high on a swing etc etc.

OP posts:

Popolly · 01/04/2011 14:29

There is a popular mothers day song going round schools at the moment - children have performed it in lots of schools in our LEA, and I saw a post from a mum earlier saying her kids had performed it at school too. Very sexist (and makes all mums sound like screaming banshees!), but I didn't want to complain because the kids were so pleased with themselves.

Lyrics are this:
My mum?s one in a million,
I?m sure that you would agree.
I wouldn?t say that she?s perfect,
But she?s the best one for me.
Sometimes she can get grumpy.
And sometimes she gets upset,
But I still know that she loves me,
And that I?ll never forget!

CHORUS
Oh! This is a Mother?s Day song for you.
Mum, you?re ever so special and I?m
Gonna find ways to say I love you too.

My mum?s ever so clever,
She may not have a degree,
But she can help with my homework,
And that?s what matters to me.
Sometimes she can be stressy,
Sometimes even she shouts!
But I still know that she loves me,
And that?s what really counts!

CHORUS

My mum?s really an angel,
She?s great at caring for me.
She does the cleaning and shopping,
And makes a wonderful tea!
Sometimes she is too busy,
Sometimes she is worn out,
But I still know that she loves me,
And that?s what this is about.

BeerTricksPotter · 01/04/2011 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bringonthegoat · 01/04/2011 14:34

YANBU!

Popolly - She shouts, is stressy, doesn't have a degree, cleaning, shopping - who is this poor cah!?! what a load of old drivel.

They were discussing the right 'size' for a mum on radio 1 yesterday - apparently 5ft3 is the right mum height. What the actual fuck?

valiumredhead · 01/04/2011 14:35

Popolly

I HATE that song with a passion. Lots of complaints a couple of years ago when ds was at primary school and there is now no longer Mother's day Assembly.

BeerTricksPotter · 01/04/2011 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cushionyet · 01/04/2011 14:39

I still remember the song that my brother had to sing for mothers' day because it was so wonderfully sexist. It was only the bloody mid-nineties as well, although he did attend the kind of achingly selective school where most of the mothers probably did engage in this kind of behaviour! Here's a little taster for you!

Don't forget to tell your Mum you love her,
Give her a hug when you get home,
Tell her she's marvelous!
Don't forget to tell your Mum that she's the best,
Make her put her feet up she deserves a rest...

She does all the washing,
The cleaning the shopping,
And all because she loves us so.

She takes and collects us,
She makes us our breakfast,
She brings me to Rugby,
She knows when to hug me,
She does all the washing,
The cleaning, the shopping...

AND ALL BECAUSE SHE LOVES US SO!

ullainga · 01/04/2011 14:49

I have to go breathe into a paper bag now. Poor silly mum with her mood swings, but hey, at least she cleans after us!

Yes I have a degree. And more than one.
No I don't do all the fecking shopping and washing, I have a husband too. And a cleaning lady. Ha.

MerryMarigold · 01/04/2011 14:55

I have a degree AND I scream and lose it sometimes...doing the cleaning and making a wonderful tea are a bit rarer though!

Bringonthegoat · 01/04/2011 15:00

I do everything as I'm a LP but I don't do it cos I'm a mum or female or cos someone esle does the fun stuff. I hope DD will be grateful when she is old enough to express it but not think that's what I am 'for' - gah!!!

MackerelOfFact · 01/04/2011 15:04

That song Popolly posted is awful. But I don't agree that it's sexist for children to thank their mums for doing things like cleaning. If they do happen to do the cleaning, what's wrong with thanking them? It's not to say that they should do the cleaning, just that when they do, it is a valuable and valid contribution to the household and the family. It's surely more sexist to say that women don't deserve thanks for these things.

BellsaRinging · 01/04/2011 15:10

YANBU-I thought exactly the same at our assembly. But I wasn't as annoyed as at Christmas when (for some odd narrative reason that I can't recall) nurses and doctors were required onstage to do something. You've guessed it-All 6 nurses were female, all 6 doctors male. I was very but decided not to make a big deal of it.

MerryMarigold · 01/04/2011 15:12

For those who think this kind of stuff is not acceptable? Is it acceptable to have a Mother's Day assembly? What do you think the kids should be talking about when they are doing it? Just interested...

AyeRobot · 01/04/2011 15:14

[sarcasm] Oh, but don't you know that men and women are different and are born that way and are in NO way socialised to perform different tasks from birth and schools don't play a big part in that at all [/sarcasm]

BellsaRinging · 01/04/2011 15:21

Well I think it's great to have a MD assembly (actually it was a "special lady" assembly at our school, but I deviate), as long as there is also one for Fathers' Day. And as for the stuff that should be included, well, I think the sort of stuff that would not be unusual in a FD one. So, there is room for making meals and cleaning, but I would prefer it to focus on also "plays [whatever] with me, works hard all day, cares for me, loves me, looks after me, tells me jokes" etc, rather than the stereotypical homework, meals and cleaning. Not that it's wrong to value your mother for doing the cleaning, but having the whole school sing about mum doing it is incorrect (personally I do naff all cleaning, not because I have a cleaner, but because I am a slattern) and focuses on one stereotypical aspect of being a mother. Generally I think that if you wouldn't hear it in a Fathers' Day assembly then it shouldn't really be in a Mothers' Day one.

valiumredhead · 01/04/2011 15:26

Actually merry I don't like MD assemblies full stop, not fair on the kids who don't have mums or who aren't living with them, not fair on the kids whose mums can't get time off work. I have even MORE issues with Grandparent's days at school - don't get me started on THAT one

Nothing wrong with making a nice card in school for the person who looks after you but leave it at that imo.

emptyshell · 01/04/2011 15:26

Could have the kid in my class once who proposed a poem with the line "I remember when my mum was pretty"...

Suggested some HEAVY re-editing on that one if he ever wanted to see pocket money again!

valiumredhead · 01/04/2011 15:28

Bellsaringing I x posted with you - special 'lady' assembly is acceptable in my book - what would be better would be 'special person' but I DO realise I am in the minority

manicinsomniac · 01/04/2011 15:32

There's not mother's day assembly at our school (prob because it's private and we've already broken up for Easter) but Grandparents' day is very important - it has to be because a lot of the children's grandparents are paying or helping to pay the fees so it's only courteous that they get their own open day type event (cream teas on the lawn et al!) However, we do call it grandparents and special friends day.

BellsaRinging · 01/04/2011 15:32

Valium, I agree, "special person" would be infinately preferable in my book too.

manicinsomniac · 01/04/2011 15:34

emptyshell - one of my friends on teaching practice tried to get a class to write similes and metaphors to describe their mums. She ended up with "My mum is a tiger in bed" - the child explained that it was true because Daddy said so!

valiumredhead · 01/04/2011 15:36

At ds's school, one kids was made to write his dead grandparents an invitation for GP's day as it would be good writing practice and that's what EVERYONE else was doing

Also more than a couple of very tear stained little faces according to my mum as the kids got upset who didn't have GP' close enough to come etc

Shocking - and from a school with an 'outstanding' OFSTED report too........

valiumredhead · 01/04/2011 15:37

manic BRILLIANT!!!!

manicinsomniac · 01/04/2011 15:38

wow, that is horrific (the writing to the dead grandparents thing.)

harecare · 01/04/2011 15:41

I'd prefer a Mothering Sunday assembly. Fathers day isn't real.
Manic - ha ha!!!!!

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