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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Take a look at the photo on my profile...

49 replies

Gouged · 31/03/2011 19:27

What would you do if your 2.3 yo came home like this from nursery?

They wrote in the incident book and told me about it when I collected him.

DH wants to go in all guns blazing, as there were more minor scratches already last week, but I am keeping an open mind.

Sad though.

OP posts:
Psammead · 31/03/2011 19:28

you need to open your profile up so we can see it.

thisisyesterday · 31/03/2011 19:28

ca't see anything.

sloggies · 31/03/2011 19:29

I am clicking on your name to get your profile up and nothing is happening!

lockets · 31/03/2011 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RamonaFlowers · 31/03/2011 19:29

Ditto.

Original poster
Gouged · 31/03/2011 19:30

Oops, I got there in the end!

Thanks for looking.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 31/03/2011 19:30

how did they say it happened?

what do you think happened?

emsyj · 31/03/2011 19:31

How did they say it happened?

thinkingkindly · 31/03/2011 19:31

Ouch. What did they say happened?

ladyintheradiator · 31/03/2011 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaLazarou · 31/03/2011 19:32

I can understand that you are upset. What happened?

TheVisitor · 31/03/2011 19:32

It wouldn't hurt to make an appointment with your child's keyworker and express your concern as it's not the first time. If it's the same child, you need to ask what they are doing to support this child in not attacking people, and how they are protecting others. Definitely don't go all guns blazing though, as preschool kids do bite, scratch, hit and kick and are learning how to socialise and what is appropriate behaviour.

Ragwort · 31/03/2011 19:33

Need a lot more info ............... kids will scratch ......... it's a fact of life, (if you are talking about the marks below the eyes?). My DS was badly scratched at a play centre once by a much younger child - it was clearly an accident, the other mum was beside herself with tears of shame, I felt so sorry for her, these things happen.

TidyDancer · 31/03/2011 19:33

Oh, poor little one. :(

What have they said?

Mamaz0n · 31/03/2011 19:33

I assume another child has done this to your son?

I think i would want to know what has been put in place to ensure that he will not be harmed again.

ginmakesitallok · 31/03/2011 19:33

When DD1 was in P1 another girl and boy in her class held down another boy and scratched him on his face. School dealt with it appropriately - it didn't happen again. What happened to your DS?

SecretNutellaFix · 31/03/2011 19:33

That looks sore. It looks like someone tried to go for his eyes!

thisisyesterday · 31/03/2011 19:34

looks more like 2 black eyes to me, not just scratches tho!

Original poster
Gouged · 31/03/2011 19:34

TIY, another child did it.

They didn't say what provoked it, I'm not sure anything does at this age, maybe they both wanted the same toy.

I know a child like this actually (but who doesn't go to the same nursery). He even attacks other adults for no reason. I am sad at the thought that my boy may not be protected from this kind of behaviour if he stays there.

For those with children of this age in nursery setting, is it common?

OP posts:
DurhamDurham · 31/03/2011 19:34

You can't really go in guns blazing until you know how it happened, or you'll just look silly. Is it possible he scratched himself?

Hope he's ok Smile

DurhamDurham · 31/03/2011 19:36

Oh right, crossed posts.

Then a trip to see the teacher is in order. Keep calm and reasonable though or they will stop listening and see you as the problem.

sloggies · 31/03/2011 19:36

I would certainly want an appointment to discuss it, and what their plan was.

thisisyesterday · 31/03/2011 19:37

i wouldn't go i guns blazing. but i would want to know what they're doing to ensure that it doesn't happen again

if that means the child that did it is watched constantly, then so be it, they need to adjust staffing levels to deal with that

your son deserves to be safe at nursery.

i'd say it's fairly common for children to get hurt and for them to push/bite/scratch etc etc... but this does look pretty bad

worraliberty · 31/03/2011 19:37

If it's the same child continually doing this to your DS then it's not unreasonable to expect the staff to keep them apart.

If it's not the same child, then it's very difficult because children lash out in a split second.

microserf · 31/03/2011 19:43

my dd got a real shiner at creche from another kid using a toy he'd brought from home. lasted more than 2 weeks!

but personally, i don't think behaviour like this is that common. there is usually a biter in the under 2s at least. they're expected to stop by 3 usually.

did they show you an incident report? if not, you should ask for one.

in the case of my dd, the injury was sufficiently serious that i asked for a meeting to see how it happened and how procedures were being put in place to prevent it happening again. they gave me a written report i could keep and we discussed it. i read them the riot act gave some constructive feedback as i'd seen the toy was still in the nursery since the incident and asked a member of staff about it FFS Angry, so their procedures were complete shit a bit of a joke really.

can you express your concerns and ask for a meeting, sit down and ask calmly what's going on? also ask if these incidents are being recorded for ofsted records - i don't quite remember it, but they did mutter something about dd's injury being bad enough to be reported.

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