To say no to a 4D scan?

[Urbanotter]

I am 24 weeks pregnant. Dh and his parents want me to have a 4D scan because his brothers wife had one with a video as well which they said was brilliant and helped with bonding

I have researched it and don't feel comfortable having one because:

There is no evidence that they are safe, despite what the companys website says.

I was told by my midwife that you shouldn't have too many scans.

I can bond with my LO quite well without a 4D scan thanks.

They think I'm being selfish. Am I?

I had a 4D but noone saw it apart from DH and I. It is your business what you think of them and whether you have one or not. Your ILs are maybe just excited but should respect your wishes.

YA so NBU. i really hate those scans. I know lots of people love them, but personally i think they make all the babies look like Gollum from the lord of the ring movies. i looked into the safety issue though, and i think it's ok. well i hope so as ds was a complicated pregnancy and we had what seemed like 100s of damned scans trying to work out what was wrong with the placenta.

i would seriously tell them to fuck off with the guilt trips. there's not that much longer to wait, and once the baby arrives, you never go back and look at the damn scans. i'd be a leeetle bit worried though if they are already this proprietorial about your baby before the birth... firm boundaries seem to be needed, and now is an excellent time to start.

YANBU. Refuse politely, ideally lightheartedly, but firmly. It's a precedent. Probably the precedent.

Yanbu I had one with dc3, I think they all look the same and never looked like him when he came out, waste of money IMO .

I'd ask her how she ever managed to bond with DH without one.

Urbanotter, yes, she said she called girl's bits 'hamburgers' and boys 'hotdogs'! She said the 3 lines of the folds looked like a hamburger on the scan.

Tell MIL if she wants a 4D scan she can get it on her own damn womb.

Of course you're not being unreasonable OP. You don't have to have any procedures done if you're not comfortable. Personally I chose to only have the 20 week scan done in each of my pregnancies, that was enough to know that the baby [ies] were developing normally. Scans aren't really meant for bonding purposes anyway.
As other posters have said, you need to be clear that it is your pregnancy and you have the right to manage it as you choose .You are not a walking incubator.

YANBU.

They look creepy, I think.