to think that the nursery manager shouldn't have washed a child's comfort item?

[purepurple]

I work in a nursery and the manager took it upon herself to wash a child's comforter (cuddly rabbit) because a staff member said it smelled.
The staff member has no children, manager has.
I protested and said that they couldn't wash it because it wouldn't smell the same for the child and that it was also very judgemental. I wwas over-ruled and the manager put it in the washing machine and said "tell the parent that milk was spilt on it"
I was
As a parent, i would have felt judged. I know that DD would have protested at having her comforter washed and she is 14.
What do you think? Would you have washed it or not?

as I said in my earlier post, both my dds have a comforter-double, and theirs are rotated and washed often.

BUT I owuld never have sent dd1 to nursery with a just-washed, clean comforter. I always swapped it on the Friday, so that by the time she went in on the Tues, it woudl smell "right" for her.

a child who wants/needs their comforter in nursery, wants/needs the fmiliarity - the nursery may well use a different soap/fabric conditioner, and the rabbit could well end up smelling completely wrong

how old was the child, OP?

TeacupTempest- I totally agree with you.

My DD didn't have a comforter when she was small, it was just me and her all the time, and visits from grandmas.

My XH (DS dad) works abroad for months at a time, so obviously is missed by DS, and I do think his cat is something that he relies on to always be around (if that makes sense?)

lemonsole, 'beaky judgey attitude' sums her up very well

I ended up cracking and washing dds comforter..... she never went near stinky seal again

oh no, Cheesey - that must have been a blow (for you and her!)

hope she found a replacement ok

silverfrog, child is just 2
Working in partnership with parents is a big part of being an early years practitioner. Sadly, it just doesn't happen like it should.

I have pretty much forgivven my lovely auntie for putting my sniffy in the washing machine almost 40 years ago

Unless the parents gaver permission or asked, or the toy was covered in vom/poo, then she over-stepped the mark. YANBU.

Before that it was a little pot hen ornament of my mums she took to as a baby..... stinky seal was replaced by a chicken that cheeped when patted on the head.

She now has a shitzu in a pink fluffy dog carrier

Overstepped the mark imo!

This reminds me of my ds's small cuddly polar bear which he sucked an gnawed on every night - it used to be wringing wet when I used to get ds up out of his cot. Used to go through a hot wash every morning or it HONKED

I can clearly remember hiding behind the sofa distraught because my Mum and Dad had wrestled my beloved silky off me and were washing her in the bathroom sink, even when they coaxed me out to see the impressively filthy water I was upset and I didn't sleep properly until she got her smell back.

That said DS1's bunny did occasionally 'hide' in his bed covers on washday and get washed by mistake, especially after he had been buried in the back garden.

It seems here to have been done precisely because it could be. Almost like children doing something naughty behind the teacher's back because they know that they can't be stopped. The point of whether or not comforters should/ should not be washed is totally irrelevant. It wasn't their shout, and reflects a contemptuous attitude towards parents that we all dread hearing about in caregivers.

The irony is that, if it had been covered in poo or vom, it would probably have been returned, unwashed in a plastic bag for the parents to deal with.

That would be a deal-breaker for me in childcare, I think. It demonstrates a callous, dogmatic and adult-focused attitude. My dislike of the worn smell overrides your need for that comforter to be the way it is to feel safe. Even though I am the adult and you are the small person entrusted to my care and whose well-being I am paid to protect.

As a CM I have little ones who have comforters now and again, a taggy blanky or an old elephant... sucked to death. Gross. But I feel it's NOT my place to clean it unless it was a health hazard to the child.

I did start (when the child was older) saying elli needed a 'sleep' and so he would be put in her bag, she had started throwing it (playfully) with the other kids, and this was not on. It dripped with spit. So it had to be put away.

What else do they lie about to suit themselves, incidents, injuries, how the children settle, eat ? I don't like the sound of this nursery.

I agree with you Lemonsole

I shouldn't have written 'gross', as it might come across negatively. Having a comforter is perfectly normal and much needed for many kids , and I have no problem with them whatsoever.

My DD has never been phased at all by the fact her comforter gets regularly washed (or in fact realised that she has more than one). Smell doesn't appear to be a factor for her. It IS a factor for me though, especially when she's teething it absolutely reeks, and I don't want to have to smell that all the time - it can make her whole bedroom stink.

I'm a bit at the posts that seem to be equating comforter washing with child abuse.

I have worked there for 4 years and have been increasingly unhappy. I disagree so much with the way that things are done but the management have been there a really long time and don't do change very well, especially if it involves cost.

'What else do they lie about to suit themselves, incidents, injuries, how the children settle, eat ? I don't like the sound of this nursery.'

Good question. Being a childcare provider myself I take being transparent and honest with my parents very seriously.

Purepurple - I'd get out, if I were you. They don't sound very kind people, and will passing these attitudes down to younger staff still forming their approach to their profession. Kindness trumps everything else, in my experience.

They don't do change very well? yet their expectations of a 2-year old are that they just have to suck it up? Nice.

I have decided to look for another job, as I can't work somewhere where i don't share their values and principles.
Since I started working there just over 4 years ago, about 20 people have handed in their notice.
Staff turnover is very high, and the management are currently plugging gaps in staffing with agency staff-sometimes as many as 3 a day.

How come, there are adverts all over the place about how low temperature washes dont kill germs and people are paranoid about dirt, yet happy to let their kids suck on and cuddle up to filthy stinky toys and blankets that go months without washing...

High turnover speaks VOLUMES, in any business.

I hope you find a lovely job soon :)

squeakytoy - I saw that form the other side.

As osmeone who doesn;t see gemrs everyhwere, is quite happy ot have used second hand cloth nappies, rarely uses antibac etc - I read all the posts form people saying "ewww, how can you not wash them, they stink" amd thought "bet you use antibac obsessively"

I'd be worried about a nursery manager who lied like that. She needs to be able to have open conversations with parents, including about awkward topics.