Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why no-one experienced volunteers?

47 replies

Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 16:16

I recently moved to a small village and while looking for permanent work, decided to volunteer at a charity shop once a week. The (paid) manageress likes me and was quick to say that her main problem when running the shop is the age (80yrs on average) and obstinacy of the other volunteeers. I think she reckons I show promise because of my retail experience!

She's been using up her leave recently so have not seen her for a couple of weeks, but before she went she told me that if any categories of item we sell were running out, then I could order them from the sorting depot. When I went in last week, there was not one pair of mens trousers in the entire shop, and the other 2 volunteers on my shift were worried we did not have enough toys to sell at the weekend. I asked them if I should order from the depot, and because they are not confident with phones (bless!) they agreed.

Today I found out from someone else within the village that I have caused some sort of disturbance and disapproval from the other volunteers who work different days from me! It was said that one (who's worked there 20 yrs) said in all that time she's never rung the depot. And yet I'm in the wrong?

Normally it would be water off a duck's back, but the volunteer who said that happens to be my next door neighbour Sad and now she's been looking at me funny and not speaking to me all week.

Aaargh! Any ideas how to sort this out?

OP posts:
thinkingkindly · 30/03/2011 16:20

You can't sort it out. Pretend you are too dumb to realise that you have given offence. Or you could try asking her, in a very ditzy and clueless way, if you have offended her in some way. Acting like a smiley idiot can be very effective sometimes.

Original poster
Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 16:22

But under what mentality would doing as a manager asked (and I guess she tells all volunteers the same thing) be offensive!!!!

I think I am really failing to see something fundamental here Confused

OP posts:
CaptainNancy · 30/03/2011 16:24

Oooh- you know it's because you're 'new', don't you?
Grin

nickelbabyhatcher · 30/03/2011 16:24

you have to develop a tough skin when you're in this sector - IME, old people tend to be very quick to moan about people who "come in and take over" - ie do stuff without conflabbing about it for days, or who just get on and do it.

Just keep offering to make the tea, and complement them when they do good displays etc, and they'll soon forget about it!

Tee2072 · 30/03/2011 16:25

Because you did what the manager asked and she never has. She's not offended. She's embarrassed and it's coming over as offended.

You did nothing wrong, but to keep the peace, I would do what thinkingkindly said. Ask her, with a big smile, what on earth you did to offend her and how on earth can you make it up to her?!?!

I don't usually advocate the high road, but since she's your next door neighbour, I would take that road. Knowing you are right and she is wrong anyway.

Original poster
Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 16:25

The thing is, the two that actually work on my shift are absolutely fine with me! And I did make sure they were happy with me ringing...

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 30/03/2011 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 16:36

Oh yes, there's a bit of a back story here too but I didn't want to make my OP an essay. A while ago my neighbour had mentioned a smell of ahem tinkle in the alleyway beside our houses. Around 8am a couple of weeks ago I saw the villain in the act, and once he'd finished and zipped up he started pillaging a bag of stuff that had been left outside the charity shop.

So I photographed him and showed my neighbour the pics. She laughed and said Oh it's "Jack" (changed name)! And laughed. I said should I tell the manager if stuff is being stolen like this? She said up to you. I didn't cos she seemed to know who he was so the piddling and stealing was acceptable according to her laughing.

Turns out "Jack" is another volunteer at the shop cos later that week the manager said she has problems with him. But I didn't even show the pics! I told the person who alerted me to the ill feeling that I wasn't a grass so hadn't done anything with the pics so hope it gets back to her.

But since when was stinking up a communal alleyway and theft acceptable?!

OP posts:
BakeliteBelle · 30/03/2011 16:36

Agree that the smiley approach is good. People get stuck in their ways and it's for the manager to sort out really. They will forgive and forget I expect.

The paid manager should be a little more diplomatic and not off-load her ageist moans onto you either. Even if her job is frustrating, it isn't her role to create divisions by complaining to one staff member about others.

Without the ageing, female population, I expect charity shops would close down in the main.

BakeliteBelle · 30/03/2011 16:38

Jack sounds an arse though, admitedly

ragged · 30/03/2011 16:38

Weird territorialness.
Just carry on as normal, they have to get over themselves.

MoonGirl1981 · 30/03/2011 16:39

thinkingkindly Wed 30-Mar-11 16:20:20
You can't sort it out. Pretend you are too dumb to realise that you have given offence. Or you could try asking her, in a very ditzy and clueless way, if you have offended her in some way. Acting like a smiley idiot can be very effective sometimes.

Sound advice ^^. I've been doing that for almost 30 years!

xxx

Original poster
Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 16:39

I have not met him yet! Very glad he's not on my shift, and I think they knew that when they took me on Hmm

OP posts:
catinthehat2 · 30/03/2011 16:42

"Today I found out from someone else within the village that I have caused some sort of disturbance and disapproval from the other volunteers who work different days from me!"

You found it out off the village stirrer.
The village stirrer knows you live next door to one of the volunteers and is.. well.. stirring it.

So next time you are in with next door neighbour say you had a conversation with stirrer and say you suspect 1) that stirrer is having a go about neighbour behind her back to cause trouble. 2) its not a nice thing to do about someone who's worked there for 20 yrs 3) how much you are enjoying village life and what a great place it is 4) are you free after work? do you want to pop round for a cup of tea?

You'll probably find that 1 person , NOT ALL, and probably not your neighbour either has a bit of an issue, mainly because she is a bit hignorant. And she is stirrer/queen bee's follower friend

Original poster
Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 16:42

Excuse me - MoonGirl1981 - did you used to be a FHGer before the great upheaval?!

OP posts:
trixie123 · 30/03/2011 16:46

When I was about 20 I had a holiday job in a chemists where the other staff (other than the pharmicist) were older ladies who had worked there for decades. On the first day I was shown how to sort out the deliveries so the next day, I just got on and did it. The pharmacist was gobsmacked that he hadn't had to explain it again or specifically tell me to do it. I am sure the manager is very grateful to have you on board - never mind the rest of them

Original poster
Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 16:47

Oh err umm, I'd better say it, the village stirrer happens to be be my neighbour's DS!!!!! And I suppose he said it because he doesn't live here any more. So can I or can't I say he told me Blush. He didn't say not to tell her but is it polite? It was him I said to pass on my apologies and say I hadn't grassed.

Oh the curse of anonymity and not telling the full story at the start. I doubt anyone over 80 uses MN anyway.

That is utterly brilliant advice catinthehat2 Smile

OP posts:
catinthehat2 · 30/03/2011 17:38

You know what, I don't think you have the essential heart of twisted evil to cope with what can become decades long village power struggles. Once you start, you have keep at it for the next 60 years.

Ok, 2nd attempt, tailored to suit the new situation:

"So next time you are in with next door neighbour say you had a conversation with son stirrer and say you suspect 1) that son may not understand how happy his mum is working at the shop 2) always nice to see someone who's worked there for 20 yrs getting a lot out of it 3) how much you are enjoying village life and what a great place it is 4) are you free after work? do you want to pop round for a cup of tea?"

THe MAchiavellian bit this time is that you understand from son that he thinks Mum is too past it to work in the shop. That will cause an enormous stink which son will find hard to deal with.

vintageteacups · 30/03/2011 17:44

I'm sure that once you've been there for around 12 years, they might start expecting you to ring the depot and perhaps will start talking to you again Grin

Original poster
Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 17:49

You're quite right Catinthehat2 - I am from London up till recently, life was so simple then Confused

OP posts:
catinthehat2 · 30/03/2011 17:51

12 years? she's talking about a village here you know.

"I'm sure that once you've been there and had several children for around 12 years, they might start expecting you your youngest child to ring the depot and perhaps will start talking to you again your grandchildren at some point in the distant future"

Original poster
Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 17:53

Hmm, perhaps I should leave instructions in my will!

OP posts:
marmaladetwatkins · 30/03/2011 17:56

Ha ha ha ha ha Grin

"This week on 'Charity Shop Wars: This Time It's OAPersonal' Dilys gets upset when Mandy takes it upon herself to do some charity shop-related work."

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

squeakytoy · 30/03/2011 18:01

Hehe, this shop sounds like something out of "League of Gentleman"...

A local shop for local people....

You be careful Op! Grin...

catinthehat2 · 30/03/2011 18:05

you townies simply have no idea

you think The Wicker MAn was in some way fictional.

Swipe left for the next trending thread