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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why no-one experienced volunteers?

47 replies

Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 16:16

I recently moved to a small village and while looking for permanent work, decided to volunteer at a charity shop once a week. The (paid) manageress likes me and was quick to say that her main problem when running the shop is the age (80yrs on average) and obstinacy of the other volunteeers. I think she reckons I show promise because of my retail experience!

She's been using up her leave recently so have not seen her for a couple of weeks, but before she went she told me that if any categories of item we sell were running out, then I could order them from the sorting depot. When I went in last week, there was not one pair of mens trousers in the entire shop, and the other 2 volunteers on my shift were worried we did not have enough toys to sell at the weekend. I asked them if I should order from the depot, and because they are not confident with phones (bless!) they agreed.

Today I found out from someone else within the village that I have caused some sort of disturbance and disapproval from the other volunteers who work different days from me! It was said that one (who's worked there 20 yrs) said in all that time she's never rung the depot. And yet I'm in the wrong?

Normally it would be water off a duck's back, but the volunteer who said that happens to be my next door neighbour and now she's been looking at me funny and not speaking to me all week.

Aaargh! Any ideas how to sort this out?

OP posts:

Original poster

Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 18:11

I'm safe - I have a League of Gentlemen Local Shop biscuit tin - plus 7 years experience in a Post Office - Gawd Bless 'Em. And a very dodgy tattoo!

OP posts:

blueberryboybaitonSafari · 30/03/2011 18:13

It's because you are an incomer! I am one too and lived in our village for 12 years when I had the cheek to be 'forward' and ask to help make cakes for the church fete. My cakes sold out and I was snubbed until we moved 18months later!

Original poster

Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 18:13

Oh I'm sure I'd have loved The Wicker Man -

IF I COULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD ALL THE MUMBLING

...gonna make you an offer you cant understand...

OP posts:

mollymole · 30/03/2011 18:17

It is my long expereince (12 years in a charity shop) that they don't like 'newcomers' & I was still considered this after 12 years - i was asked to cover the paid manageresses day off as I was capable of running the shop -
this really narked some of the other volunteers as they had been there much longer so were 'senior' to me

Original poster

Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 18:20

Thanks Molly! The thing is, I am sure the manageress is fair and has given all the volunteers opportunities and training to "do the management stuff", but when they are even unwilling to use the telephone, what is supposed to happen?

OP posts:

Englishtea · 30/03/2011 18:36

Oh dear OP, are you talking about my life here? Good to know that I am not the only one who has these problems working in a village charity shop (being an immigrant makes things even harder for me), as I felt so sad about it. It seems that whatever I do, I could not please them. At first I thought they were being suspicious of a "newcomer", but 1 year on, I don't even know what to think.

Tea and biscuits? :)

worraliberty · 30/03/2011 18:40

Apologies if I've missed it but...why was there no cover Manager?

My neighbour is a paid charity shop Manager and she can't simply go on leave without leaving another Manager in charge.

It takes the piss really OP that you've been put in this position at all.

MrsBloomingTroll · 30/03/2011 18:41

OP, did you see the Mary Portas programme where she took on a charity shop? The old dears at that shop were up in arms about the changes she made, but she was right!

I heard the old dears at my local shop moaning about the new layout of their shop and the new manager. Bless them.

mercibucket · 30/03/2011 18:42

''I recently moved to a small village''

well if you must do things like that! None of your problems are related to the shop, all of them are related to the fact that it is a ''small village''. Miss Marple lived in a small village and learned everything she needed to know about people there . . .

as squeakytoy says 'a local shop for local people'

mercibucket · 30/03/2011 18:43

oh and just read 'Englishtea's post - believe me, a year is nothing. When you've been there about 20, you might stop being the new arrival

Original poster

Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 18:50

No Worraliberty, there isn't a cover manager. Not built into the system! There's a volunteer who is always in charge of cashing up in the manager's absence, but she does it the day after I am there.

In my second week I had to deal with the Securicor pick up, luckily I'd done it before at the Post Office

OP posts:

TheProvincialLady · 30/03/2011 18:51

Have you ever read the Mapp and Lucia stories (E F Benson). Tells you everything you need to know.

TheEffinOasis · 30/03/2011 18:57

This thread has totally put me off volunteering at a charity shop! I was thinking that when 3rd and final baby is at nursery a couple of mornings a week it might be something good to do - but I saw the Mary Portas prog too and this sounds all too familiar! I'll wait until I am 60, at least...

sloggies · 30/03/2011 18:57

"Don't you be comin 'ear with your faaaancy Lonon wayssss......"!

Englishtea · 30/03/2011 19:33

What should I do: A lady comes in with some donations, she gives them to me and goes to look around the shop. Then suddenly other volunteers start gossiping about her (her looks, family issues etc.). I don't say anything about that lady, but I feel really bad because she might think that I am like them. I don't really say anything to the elderly volunteers, as I have a grandmother their age and I know people that age tend to generalize and judge.
My dilemma is: I don't want to look bad in that customer's eyes because of their stupid remarks, but I also would not want to make my life even harder by telling them off.
One day two ladies came in, they wore traditional African costumes and I thought they looked magnificent, but one of the volunteers looked at me and said loudly: Look at them, they look just like parrots. I was shocked, to say the least.

Original poster

Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 19:37

Oh Gawd yes! The other day I'm certain I overheard the two on my shift saying "Philipino?" "Well, their money is as good as anyone else's I suppose." I exited to the rear rapidly.

But if I overheard them being racist in the customer's presence - I suppose I'd have to engage the customer in a conversation myself and hope for the best

OP posts:

Original poster

Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 19:38

OK English - I know you is being I-ronic!

OP posts:

senua · 30/03/2011 19:52

I have thought before now about volunteering in a charity shop but, having heard the staff gossiping, I have been put off. This is not one particular shop - it seems that all charity shops are staffed by back-stabbing moaners who hate each other. And are oblivious to customers hearing every word.

OP excepted; I'm sure you are lovely. Because you haven't been fully indoctrinated trained yet

Englishtea · 30/03/2011 19:57

I guess because I moved here from London (where I lived for four years) I would say that some of the things that they say/do is quite racist, but maybe it's how people are outside of London (?). And I am constantly reminded that I am and immigrant with things like: "so, you are going back home after some time, aren't you?" At first I was shocked, but now I am not bothered anymore and I sometimes joke about bringing my whole family and my fifteen children to the UK and living of state benefits - you should see their face when I say something like that. :DDD

Englishtea · 30/03/2011 20:03

I am not being ironic, dear OP. I think that I had quite a large culture shock when I moved from very ethnically diverse East London to a small middle class (mostly) white village.

Original poster

Mandy2003 · 30/03/2011 20:19

I was born in the next village over, English, it was just the way you reported the racist conversation I thought could not be true. But as I said, I heard similar.

I lived in London for 25 years -NW1, N1, N4 and E8 then N4 touching N8 and N15 again! My original village was really American Werewolf stuff - locals heads turn 360 at the sight of a stranger, and dead hostile, query inbred!

I'd hoped the new village would be better, and as a visitor it seemed really friendly but...

Still, may well be getting a job in the village Post Office soon. Be afraid. Be very afraid

OP posts:

marmaladetwatkins · 31/03/2011 09:37

It reminds me of the Mary Portas programme where she had to go around charity shops trying to jig 'em up a bit. IIRC some of the Dorises couldn't use the tills despite being there for a gazillion years. Bless 'em.

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