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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to send my friend an anonymous mothers day card?

28 replies

clpsmum · 29/03/2011 23:40

My friends husband walked out on her and her 2 Dd's who are 3 and 5. She is an Australian living in England and has no family here whatsoever. Would it be unreasonable of me to send her a gift and card on behalf of her dd's as I am 110% certain her ex won't.

OP posts:
MrsRhettButler · 29/03/2011 23:43

any chance you can offer to have them for the afternoon/an hour and then make a card present with them? it might mean a bit more that way.

but if thats not an option i would defo think that sending a card is a nice idea and will cheer her up just knowing that someone thought of her

GrimmaTheNome · 29/03/2011 23:44

I read the thread title and thought hmm, but, having read the circumstances, yes, a card saying what a good mum she is or whatever you think apt would be nice. Her 5yo might get to make something at school but they're a bit young to organise anything much themselves.

Jacksmania · 29/03/2011 23:45

Lovely idea. Both yours and MrsRB's.
Are you nearby, or could you bring flowers and a card and take them all out to tea for mother's day?
Either way, what a lovely friend you are. :)

AgentZigzag · 29/03/2011 23:46

Awww that's a really lovely thing to do.

Why not just be open about it?

She must know you're a thoughtful person and guess it's from you anyway Smile

Skinit · 29/03/2011 23:49

I don't think anon is good...she mght think it's from the ex. Just be upfront.

MrsRhettButler · 29/03/2011 23:51

yes, skinit is right so unless you can do something with the dc i would do it upfront. you sound like a lovely friend

scottishmummy · 29/03/2011 23:52

send it but not anonymously.anon card turning up might freak her out

Original poster
clpsmum · 29/03/2011 23:53

I can't have them over at mine to make something unfortunately as she works and has them in a nursery and would need special permission to take them out etc. I don't want her to know they are from me simply because there is no thanks required. I don't want her to think I did it for any reason or to look good etc just want her to know that she's a fab mum and the world is not against her which is how she feels right now.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/03/2011 23:55

do sign it,makes it nice for you both.doesn't come across as praise me asa pal.just a pal doing a good turn for another pal

readywithwellies · 29/03/2011 23:56

How about taking something to the nursery and asking the staff to put it in the child's bag? Or is that stalkerish?

scottishmummy · 29/03/2011 23:57

post a card,dont make it too convoluted.v nice thing to do

Skinit · 29/03/2011 23:59

Nursery's usually make them with the kids anyway readywithwellies.

readywithwellies · 30/03/2011 00:09

Yeah but they won't wrap up chocolates Grin

Firawla · 30/03/2011 09:05

I wouldn't do it anon but just do it from yourself it will be nice

Prolesworth · 30/03/2011 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
clpsmum · 30/03/2011 21:57

Thanks everyone for your advice, very greatly appreciated. Think I'll go with the majority and let her know that i sent them on behalf of her dc, thanks again xxx

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 30/03/2011 21:59

Yer a star clpsmum Smile

It's not fishing for praise, and I'm sure she'll just be moved by the gesture of a friend.

A1980 · 30/03/2011 23:18

Nice idea but as a 5 year old I would be saying to my mum that i didn't send it to her. A child might be weirded out for mum to get a card not from them.

I would try and see them leading up to mothers day and get the children to personally sign it.

BluddyMoFo · 30/03/2011 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RambleOn · 30/03/2011 23:39

Someone did this for me, it was my first ever mothers day card.

Do it, but be prepared for her to blub like a baby Grin

poopnscoop · 31/03/2011 07:24

Don't make it anon... make it from you :)

Sweetpea215 · 31/03/2011 07:26

Agree, I think that you should encourage the children to make her a card.

Greythorne · 31/03/2011 07:28

Def no need to do it anonymously, that could be complicated if she spends all day wondering who it's from
Just be honest
Nothing to hide

LizaTarbucksAuntie · 31/03/2011 07:44

Don't do it anonymously (that might seem a bit freaky to your friend) but I'm sure it will be hugely appreciated.

My exh had left by the time the first mothering sunday came round and my (now) DP who was at that time my best friend delivered a lovely planted flower arrangement and a card to me.

I was so touched and it lifted my spirits massively at a really difficult time.

You're a lovely friend and it's a very thoughtful thing to do.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 31/03/2011 07:50

I would be thrilled if someone did this for me! Ex never did anything when we were together so he definatley wont now... no family so another year without a MD token, plus its the first year without MY mum so its going to suck.
Anyway enough about me! You sound like a lovely friend op. Go for it.