or was the doc right to refuse a home visit?

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OK, so today my youngest (7 months) daughter's temperature kept spiking up to 39.5-40C and calpol was only keeping it down for about 2 hours before it started to rise again. She's also got an awful cough and cold which has been ongoing for 2-3 weeks, but today was the first time her temp has been bad. Normally I would call the docs and ask for a same day appointment and then drive down whenever the appointment was. Unfortunately that wasn't possible today because yesterday I fell on the stairs and ended up in hospital. Nothing broken thankfully but I have bruised my ribs and some muscles in my back so am unable to drive. TBH, I am struggling to move at all and even holding the babies is incredibly painful, so getting the buggy out and walking the 40min walk to the surgery with 4 kids was just not an option either. So anyway, I phoned the docs, explained the situation and asked if we could have a home visit. They said "no" because they "don't do home visits for babies". They said my daughter did need to be seen though so I would have to work out a way of getting there. I explained that it just wasn't possible as I couldn't walk or drive, I have no family who could take us, none of my neighbours have a big enough car to take me and all 4 of the kids and my husband works an hour's drive away from home (depending on traffic) and was uncontactable anyway because of meetings. They still refused because they "don't do home visits for babies". I had no choice but to wait until my husband was able to answer his phone, which wasn't until 4.30pm so he wouldn't get home until after the surgery was closed, and then when he got home we had to phone NHS24 and he drove 40 mins away to the out of hours doc at 6.30pm with exhausted daughter whose temp was spiking again. They're just home and she has a chest & an ear infection. She's gone through an extra 6 hours pain because doc wouldn't come out to see us and we've also had to take up a valuable out of hours doc appointment when we could have been seen by our own doc hours earlier. so - AIBU to be annoyed by this, or was doc right? Anyone else's doc have a similar policy of refusing home visits on babies?

I like my GP surgery. I dont struggle to get appointments, and they do phone consultations too. They are accomodating when you are a single parent and need to take your children with you to everything. They are polite and never question you on the phone and always apologise when they are running late. The GPs never make you feel rushed and always listen.

They dont do homevisits in circumstances like the OP states though. And I fully wouldtn expect them too. They are pushed enough as it is.

So your DH left you home alone with 4 young (and 1 sick) DCs when you were seriously injured and hospitalised the day before?

He should have taken a carer's day to look after you/the DCs.

He is VVVVU.

On a slightly different tack but relating to advice given above, I am always horrified when people advise you to take your child to A&E, it is not for out of hours treatment even when someone is genuinely ill, it is for Accidents and Emergencies as the title suggests. The only time a visit is appropriate is when a condition suddenly worsens not because someone is unable to get to the surgery.

A visit to A&E costs the NHS a fortune compared to a GP visit and the GP practice gets a bill from the hospital for each one. When these changes hit the NHS and the GPs budgets are real money, rather than indicative as at present, you might find your GP being very unhappy with visits to A&E that are not genuine emergencies.

I agree with the previous posters.

This is all on your DH.

He left you alone badly injured with 4 children one of whom was seriously ill?

WTF was he thinking?

What would you have done if the doc had come out and said the baby needed to go to hospital? How would you have got the prescription the doctor left for the baby? It does sound unreasonable but there are other bits of it that you would have had difficulty with if the doctor had come.

Ugh. This sounds awful. Thankfully we have never lived more than 3 doors away from GP so either she or nurse practitioner is usually happy to pop around if a little one is sick/injured.
I even had DS1s vaccinations done at home because 'he'd be more comfortable in familiar surroundings'.
Village life is slow, but definitely worth it when you read stuff like this.

OP that does sound like a horrid situtaion and I sympathise, but I must ask, what were your expectations from a home visit? A few people have mentioned if your DC needed a prescription filling, you would still be in the same situation of either going out yourself to get it (in which case the home visit was pointless) or waiting for your husband to get home to go out and get it (which still meant your daughter waiting a fair amount of time).

I don't mean to be nasty, I just think you needed to think carefully about the potential outcomes of the GP making a home visit (something the GP surgery has already done by the sounds of it) and what they could in reality actually do for you and your DD.

I hope you both feel better soon

I'd say change doctors surgeries for someone closer, its obvious it is not a good distance for you. Ours is 2 streets away and part of the reason for choosing that one, is that when one of is ill driving is probably the last thing we want to do.

You could have always taken a taxi. Expensive yes but at least your DC would have been seen.

Only time I've got home visits was when I had pleurisy and was delirious- because dd couldn't carry me downstairs into a taxi and calling an ambulance would have been even more expensive. It still took 2 hours for him to turn up because they are very busy. When dd (then 11) had a suspected fracture we carried her downstairs between us and into the taxi. But when she had an asthma attack a paramedic came straight away. They are really pushed, so prioritise the cases which might be life and death.

Your husband was very unreasonable to leave you with 4 children, including 2 7 month old babies while you were that badly injured.

Could you have asked a neighbour to drive you all in your car?

My GP does home visits. In fact they visit every new baby at home.

I have never needed one in an emergency, as we've always got by with telephone consults, or the real emergencies are out of hours. But we have had the OOH doc visit at least twice too (once was DH with viral meningitis).

I think its unreasonable. But also with a temperature spike it could just be a normal illness, I think my GP would have done a telephone consult, followed by a visit if really necessary. If she has flu for example they don't want children in the surgery anyway.

I am also interested to know how you justify your husband's time as being so much more important than the GP's time.

I think that's a bit below the belt Casserole but I do think that the OP probably wasn't well enough to look after 4 children and could have done with a bit of help at home either from DH or another relly. However, when my children were small there would have been times when my DH could not have been there because of work commitments - you can't walk out of court when when you are prosecuting - the judge gets a little arsy about it

If you were fit enough to be left at home with 4 children, 2 of whom I presume are 8 month old twins, then you were fit enough to drive.

If the pain from your fall was so bad that you can't drive (nothing broken, can't see how driving would cause you "further damage) then you weren't in a fit state to look after 4 children.

If you were too drugged up to drive, you were too drugged up to look after 4 children..

Ergo, if you were fit enough to look after 4 children, then you were fit enough to drive.

Precisely my (and many others; so why you're singling me out is interesting) point: so the OP's husbands meeting was too important to miss; but the GP who has a full caseload and a full day of appointments already should be expected to do a home visit to a woman who DID have other options - namely to ask her husband to take care of his children?

I just think it's an interesting perception by the OP of who has the time and primary burden of responsibility of care to her children.

So thanks for your opinion, but I don't consider my comment, or those of the numerous other people making the exact same point, to be "below the belt" at all, and I'd still like it answered.

No personal offence meant casserole and I have already said that I don't think the OP was in a fit state to look after the children. However, isn't it part of a GP's role to make a home visit. I think poor communication is the issue here, ie, why didn't the surgery explain that if the dr came, a prescription or referral to hospital might be required. If the baby was so ill he/she needed in my opinion to see a doctor urgently and the GP had refused and I could not drive, I quite frankly would have called an ambulance. The OP didn't do this so I question how urgently the baby needed to see a doctor. Where is the OP by the way.

Pretty heartless of your DH to bugger off and leave you to look after all the kids when you are completely crocked up. It sounds really painful and I empathise completely. You probably would have found it very difficult to get in and out of a taxi, anyway, so that might not have worked as an option.

'Conference calls to Houston' aside, no-one is that busy or important that they can't re-schedule a sodding phone call in the case of a medical emergency involving both their wife and child. Technology is such that he could have communicated with Houston from home, if it was that bluddy important.

You should never have let him walk out of the door!! Were you bravely standing at the gate in your pinny, a kid on each hip, smiling wanly and saying 'Don't worry Darling - I'll manage"?

Ask for what you need, that's my advice. He should work from home tomorrow, or until you're better, or take some leave.

'taking a child out in the cold makes them worse'

This is an interesting one and I've heard lots of GPs say this, too. But when I had very bad flu once four years ago (temp. 105 for two days in a row) I once, in a fit of madness, dragged myself out with the dogs. IT was the first day I'd felt moderately better but my temperature was 102. The weather was bitter so I wrapped up well and staggered down the lane for about five minutes. But when I came inside my temperature shot up again to 104 and I nearly passed out. Was it a reaction to a sudden dip in external temp? I felt very, very ill again very quickly and I can now honestly say that I wouldn't want to take a small sick child out in very cold weather unless we were in a car.

I know the dog walk incident was my own stupid fault, btw.

It is great if GP's have the time to make home visits to people who have trouble getting into the surgery. But most GP's nowdays have large caseloads of people including many people with chronic conditions that used to be managed by hospital out patients. A few may still have the time to visit; but most haven't.

Lots of people struggle to get to the GP's. I had to ask a neighbour who I didn't know (had just moved in 2 weeks before) to give me and DH a lift to the surgery. DH was very ill, I didn't drive, didn't have money for a taxi and GP said he could see us if we could get there in next 20 minutes.

I also think it is unreasonable to expect a home visit because your DH is in an important meeting.

Home visits are normally only for people who are terminally ill or people who are truly housebound and would normally need a non emergency ambulance to leave the house. They are not as you state for pensioners. If this policy wasn't in place GP's would be physically unable to visit everyone who had problems getting to the surgery.

I agree that the OP's DH could have made better arrangements - if his calls were so important, perhaps he should sort out a temporary nanny for his family. In fact, if you are still reading, maybe think about htat - even someone coming in for a couple of hours a day.

Fwiw, I had bruised ribs last year after a bike accident and it was incredibly painful, I could hardly walk the first two days.

On day 3 I drove, alone with the DC from Geneva to Amsterdam as our ferry to UK was booked. I had to pack the car myself. I did ask other people for help - a stranger in the hotel carried my bag up to the room. On the ferry I asked for a staff member to assist me. But I managed it. Even though I was exhausted.

If you are unwell and unable to care for your children, then you need extra help. If that is asking a taxi driver to assist or getting a temp nanny in to care for the DC, that is what you have to do.

Don't try to struggle on alone.

Some Dh's are workaholics. Mine left me 2 days after major surgery involving general anasthetic to look after a lively 4 year old DS for most of the weekend whilst he went into work. I took taxis to the gym and dumped DS in the creche and lay on a sofa. OP your DH does have some responsibility to his family, he should have made better provision for you or at least been available on the phone.

I don't think YABU to ask for a doctors visit. I had assumed that the doctors that did home visits were different from those in the surgery, so the equation about the 10 min consultation not relevant. But on the one occasion I have had a home visit it was through NHS 24.

I'm sorry you are getting such a hard time, you are probably still in pain and worried about your DC. Perhaps the best solution would have been to take a taxi but ask for help from the driver with the seats etc.