Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or was the doc right to refuse a home visit?

185 replies

2plus2more · 28/03/2011 20:27

OK, so today my youngest (7 months) daughter's temperature kept spiking up to 39.5-40C and calpol was only keeping it down for about 2 hours before it started to rise again. She's also got an awful cough and cold which has been ongoing for 2-3 weeks, but today was the first time her temp has been bad. Normally I would call the docs and ask for a same day appointment and then drive down whenever the appointment was. Unfortunately that wasn't possible today because yesterday I fell on the stairs and ended up in hospital. Nothing broken thankfully but I have bruised my ribs and some muscles in my back so am unable to drive. TBH, I am struggling to move at all and even holding the babies is incredibly painful, so getting the buggy out and walking the 40min walk to the surgery with 4 kids was just not an option either. So anyway, I phoned the docs, explained the situation and asked if we could have a home visit. They said "no" because they "don't do home visits for babies". They said my daughter did need to be seen though so I would have to work out a way of getting there. I explained that it just wasn't possible as I couldn't walk or drive, I have no family who could take us, none of my neighbours have a big enough car to take me and all 4 of the kids and my husband works an hour's drive away from home (depending on traffic) and was uncontactable anyway because of meetings. They still refused because they "don't do home visits for babies". I had no choice but to wait until my husband was able to answer his phone, which wasn't until 4.30pm so he wouldn't get home until after the surgery was closed, and then when he got home we had to phone NHS24 and he drove 40 mins away to the out of hours doc at 6.30pm with exhausted daughter whose temp was spiking again. They're just home and she has a chest & an ear infection. She's gone through an extra 6 hours pain because doc wouldn't come out to see us and we've also had to take up a valuable out of hours doc appointment when we could have been seen by our own doc hours earlier. so - AIBU to be annoyed by this, or was doc right? Anyone else's doc have a similar policy of refusing home visits on babies?

OP posts:
Sassybeast · 28/03/2011 20:58

YABU. A taxi would have been an option but TBH I think your husband being unavailable when you are at home with a sick baby, knowing that you are unable to drive, is the unreasonable aspect of the whole scenario.

unfitmother · 28/03/2011 21:00

If your DD was ill enough for a home visit, it was serious enough for your DH to miss a meeting? Hmm

ohnoshedittant · 28/03/2011 21:01

YABU

Home visits take soo much longer; far fewer people can be seen.

There will be lots of people who can't drive/have lots of children/are themselves ill or injured/husbands in a meeting etc. If all of them had home visits the wait for a gp appointment would be about 2 years.

You can ring NHS direct and if they feel it is really urgent that you see a doctor and there is no other way to get to one they will send an ambulance to you. If not you can wait 6 hours until you can get to the doctors.

I think it would be a good idea to have an emergency contact person close by; maybe a neighbour or someone, or at least ensure your husband can always be reached. What if something really awful happened and you're on your own with 4 kids?

abbierhodes · 28/03/2011 21:01

If you and your baby were both that ill, why was your husband uncontactable? I'm a teacher, so phones in lesson time are an absolute no-no, but in that circumstace I'd find ?some way of being contactable.

Purplebuns · 28/03/2011 21:01

Why is there such a fuss about the surgery being a 40 min walk away, not everyone has a surgery any closer, I don't!
I am sorry that your DD is poorly and you feel so rough.
When my DD was last having a high temp I was told to give Calpol and Nurofen, although my dd is older than yours, it might be worth asking about that for future knowledge.

macdoodle · 28/03/2011 21:04

YABU, if your GP visited every baby/child with a temperature, then no one else would ever get seen, or the GP would ever get home!
You could have sorted something out as you did.
I just don't get how no one is prepared to take any responsibility for their own health anymore.

brimfull · 28/03/2011 21:05

surely if gp did visit you would still need to get to chemist to get meds?so you'd still have to get out
if it was me I would've driven regardless of my injuries if baby was that bad.

Original poster
2plus2more · 28/03/2011 21:07

Taxi not possible as I would have had to put the car seats in it myself and I can't currently get them out of our car as it's too painful. I also wouldn't have been able to lift the car seats out of the taxi and into the surgery with the girls in them. (we have twins so 1 baby in a carseat is bad, but 2 is impossible just now.)

I can't change surgeries as this is the only one in the town, so we have no other options.

I am already drugged up on painkillers, but I don't think overdosing on painkillers so I can drive and probably do myself more damage would really have been a particularly sensible option.

fwiw - they have done home visits for my neighbours before (during surgery hours). My next door neighbours got one when their son (not a baby) had a temp of 40C and the mother was 3 weeks post c-section so couldn't drive and she wasn't expected to have to go out with a newborn and another child.

The general consensus seems to be that I am being unreasonable though so I'll take that on the chin and not ask for a home visit again. I really hope I'm never in this position again - although the combination of circumstances is probably never likely to happen again!

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 28/03/2011 21:09

I think it's a bit harsh to say that when the OP says she would normally have driven (thereby presumably taking responsibility and not expecting her child to be visited simply because the child is ill). She is hurt and her child is ill and she asked for help. My GP has visited us in similar circumstances, so not unreasonable to ask IMO.

I think you should probably find some way of being able to contact your DH in case of emergency though OP.

Sirzy · 28/03/2011 21:10

YABU. Your lack of transport isn't the GPs problem. Your husband should have come out of the meeting or you should have driven/got a taxi anything - its YOUR responsibility to get your child the treatment. The GP wouldn't have come out during surgery time anyway.

Locally GPs dont do home visits other than in exceptional circumstances, if its out of hours you go to them. As annoying as it is it is much better use of the GP facility as they can see more people in less time.

macdoodle · 28/03/2011 21:10

Also not sure how your baby was instantaneously cured by the out of hours GP? Did he have a magic wand? Even if he prescribed antibiotics, you do know they take about 48hours to start working?

smokinaces · 28/03/2011 21:12

in emergencies car seats for older children arent neccesary - and cab drivers often help with infant carrier seats etc.

Post section/operation is slightly different circumstances tbh.

Try and put a strategy in place in case anything like this happens again, especially if you have no support network around you.

toeragsnotriches · 28/03/2011 21:13

In a case like yours, where the welfare of the whole family (child and carer) is under pressure I think they should come out. Caring for a sick child is exhausting and to be doing it when you're already compromised physically is hard. When they are ill and doing something dramatic like a high temp it is scary on your own.

Although I don't know the details of your DH's job, I do think he could be more easy to contact, especially in circumstances like this.

Magicjamas · 28/03/2011 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

scaryteacher · 28/03/2011 21:14

'My suggestion to change surgeries is because being a 40 minute walk from your GP practice is not ideal, especially if transportless and you have young children.'

Sidge in some rural areas, that will be the closest surgery. I had a choice of two within my area - neither of which I could have walked to; nor were taxis readily available - so I don't think the OP is being difficult. Not everyone lives in a town.

TheFallenMadonna · 28/03/2011 21:14

Do GPs have bigger lists now than say 30 years ago? GPs used to do home visits I'm sure, and I don't remember long waits for appointments. Or are we all just running to the GP at the drop of a hat now, so they have to cram more appointments in?

Magicjamas · 28/03/2011 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

flippinpeedoff · 28/03/2011 21:17

I would complain, simply because sometimes it can make them think about polices they have.
A few years back quite a few of my young children were ill with flu type symptoms, temps that wouldn't go down, screaming ear pain etc etc. including a pretty young baby, 8 weeks old IIRC. My dp and I were also ill.

We asked for a home visit simply because we didn't want to take these sick kids out of the house into the cold winter air. They refused, so we dragged them all to the surgery, swaddled in blankets, shaking and crying, dripping in sweat carried them up a couple of flights of stairs, having to go back down to carry next child up. Got our anti biotic s, went home and the children had real downward turn after the visit. Being out in the cold had not helped one iota.
I complained about what had happened to us and the surgery have since re evaluated the criteria for home visits so that people in our situation would now be considered eligible
It's worth a shot maybe.

smokinaces · 28/03/2011 21:18

Round here Fallen we have the same number of surgeries and GPs. However, the population has exploded, with all the new houses etc.

For instance, Health visitors 20 years ago had case loads of around 150-200, and would do immunisations etc. Now they have caseloads of 650 and cant do anything but child protection work. GPs are in a similar position.

macdoodle · 28/03/2011 21:19

Patient demand is massively higher than it was 30years ago. Beurocracy/admin/paperwork has skyrocketed. People live longer, and far more chronic conditions are managed by GP's than in the hospital. Being a GP today is nothing like it was 30 years ago.

Original poster
2plus2more · 28/03/2011 21:19

My daughter has not be instantaneously cured - I'm pretty sure I didn't say she had been! However, she could have gotten 2 doses of the anti-biotic in before bed which would have helped. Anti-biotics can actually start to help quicker than 48 hours - even 2/3 doses can make a difference so it is often important to get them started as soon as possible.

I feel like I should defend my husband too - his job isn't that easy to just walk out of, but of course he would come if he had to. Unfortunately today he was on a secure conference call with Houston & London and so to get hold of him I would have had to get through via other people in his office and while it is possible, it is difficult and in any case he would still have been at least an hour away anyway.

OP posts:
NappyShedSal · 28/03/2011 21:20

I too agree with many of the points here - your DH should have come home if your DD is that poorly and you have no other way of getting to teh doctors. Or you should have paid for a taxi - most taxi firms have 7 seaters and car seats. Was there no time when any of teh older children were at Nursery or school so you would have had less children to deal with.

But the only person whose fault it is that your baby had to suffer for 6 hours longer than necessary is your own.

macdoodle · 28/03/2011 21:21

Flippin Shock, are you serious? Do you have any idea how many people had flu in the last winter season? Really ? Any idea at all??
For example on one day, I saw 40 patients in the morning, I had another 20 or so to call back for phone advice, and a good few house calls (to very elderly TRULY housebound, terminal patients DYING with cancer etc), and then much the same in the afternoon.
I can see on a very busy day 8-10 patients in an hour if I must. It can take that long to do ONE house call. You do the maths!

flippinpeedoff · 28/03/2011 21:22

nappy that's really not niceSad

AuntiePickleBottom · 28/03/2011 21:22

why coiuldn't you husband come home to take the baby to the doctors.
surly your husbands work have a direct number incase of an emergency