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To think that lunch is not enough?

75 replies

everybodysang · 28/03/2011 20:02

Actually I am pretty sure I am NBU but thought I'd share this.

Am staying at my parent's tonight (and last night) as it was my grandfather's funeral today. I'm about 300 miles from home, and I have my 12 week old baby with me.

My mum has massive food issues, and has done for years. Dad used to really enjoy his food but has developed diabetes, and since retiring has been much more under the influence of my mum regarding what they eat. They both now have very small appetites - my mum always ate tiny amounts but now my dad does too. They also eat lunch at 12 and dinner at 5 - when I'm at home I normally have lunch about 2 and dinner at 8. No problem, though, of course I just fit in with their schedule when I'm here. My mum's small portions and lack of things to eat at theirs is a bit of a joke among my brother and our partners, but I always just make sure I have a few snacks packed in my suitcase in case I get hungry while I'm here.

This time, however, everything had to be booked very last minute and I just didn't have time, or even really think about packing snacks. No matter, it's only a couple of nights, right? So the funeral was today at 12, then arrived at a nearby hotel for lunch at 1. After the meal, my dad said to my mum, "have we got anything in for dinner tonight?"; to which my mum replied, "Son't be ridiculous, we won't want anything to eat at 5 after this enormous lunch." (It was a nice lunch, but by no means enormous, btw). My heart sank but I thought, never mind, I'll take the baby for a walk to the shop later and I can get something to eat. Except the shop is closed for refurbishment. No other shop for miles; no car and no public transport after 5 so no way to get out; breastfeeding the baby which makes me ravenous on a normal day.

AIBU to want to cry a little bit cos I'm so hungry and there's no food at all in the house?

OP posts:
mrsscoob · 28/03/2011 20:04

No you are not and i'm sorry about your Grandfather.

Could you order a pizza?

Haven't they got anything at all, cereal or toast?

FabbyChic · 28/03/2011 20:05

Is there not something to eat at all? Thats ridiculous, surely as a diabetic your father has to eat little and often?

FabbyChic · 28/03/2011 20:05

Call in a pizza!

Blu · 28/03/2011 20:05

Oh dear.
Nothing at all?
Do they have pizza deliveries , or other takeaway deliveries?

maxpower · 28/03/2011 20:06

Can you get a pizza delivered or something? Seems madness they'd not have extra food in to cater for you. Do they have a car you can borrow or can you send your dad out to get you something? Failing that, don't they have any bread you could toast or some cereal?


Plumm · 28/03/2011 20:06

YANBI - order something in.

Blu · 28/03/2011 20:07

And sorry about your grandfather - all very distressing.
Are there any other family members nearby (within driving distance) who could come round with something, if you phoned them?

ENormaSnob · 28/03/2011 20:07


There must be something in their house that you can snaffle?

If not I would definately order in.

TidyDancer · 28/03/2011 20:08

Takeaway is your friend!

Can't believe your mum didn't get some dinner for you. Of course you're going to be hungry while you are BFing.


hairypotter · 28/03/2011 20:08

Poor you, sounds awful. Yanbu at all. Is there a takeaway that would deliver? If not, maybe you could call a taxi to pick something up for you?

TidyDancer · 28/03/2011 20:08

I'm very sorry for the reason you're there btw. Hope you're doing okay post-funeral. x

eaglewings · 28/03/2011 20:10

Hope the funeral went well

You need extra food if you are bfing. Bite the bullet and tel your Mum you NEED food!

dittany · 28/03/2011 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 28/03/2011 20:11

Are you not phoning for a takeaway because you can't face the amount of verbal you will get from your parents? People whose eating is this disordered often make a mighty big deal of how 'greedy' others are if they ever see someone expressing hunger or eating when they are not eating. If that's what's bothering you, remember that they are weird and you, as a BFing mum, need food.

squeakytoy · 28/03/2011 20:15

If you are miles from anywhere, I dont suppose a takeaway delivery is an option. There must be something in the house though. Even if it is what was planned for tomorrows lunch, you can always replace that in the morning.

YANBU, you are breastfeeding and need to eat regularly.

Bunbaker · 28/03/2011 20:19

Is the cupboard completely bare? Is there no bread or cereal or cheese or anything at all in the house. No tins of anything? Is there a takeaway in the area that can deliver? Or can you get a taxi to get to one?

I'm gobsmacked.

wubblybubbly · 28/03/2011 20:20

Try Just Eat if your parents don't have any menus. There's bound to be someone in the nearby area doing deliveries.

Sorry to hear about your Grandad.

knockinonyerdoor · 28/03/2011 20:28

Oh poor you. Can't you just tell your mum that as you're BFing you need to eat? There must be something in the house, even if its breakfast cereal or something tinned.

anonacfr · 28/03/2011 20:50

I'm just amazed your parents didn't buy extra food if they knew you were staying.
Surely when you have a house guest you buy food? I mean most people.... eat, don't they?

Sorry to hear about your grandfather.

earlyriser · 28/03/2011 21:01

First time i visited my in laws i couldn't believe how little food was in the house. MIL would say oh we got some apples in for you becasue we know you like healthy food. And there would be 2 apples in the bowl, and nothing in fridge except wine and coke (for the vodka!). I would feel very greedy for eating (or wanting to eat) 3 meals a day. If they went out for lunch (and mil would always order the child's meal) that would be all they would eat all day.

So although most normal people would get in food for guests, if you don't eat much yourself, some people struggle to know just what constitutes normal eating patterns.

Hope you have managed to egt something to eat now op, if it's any consolation i weep when hungry too (and not even breastfeeding)

megapixels · 28/03/2011 21:13

YANBU. Poor you, I used to feel ravenous while bfing too. You need the food. I once bfed DD while I was dead hungry and didn't have anything to eat for half a day (long story) and I actually collapsed afterwards.

My mother is like this too, more out of laziness than any other reason, she eats tiny morsels and is surprised at the amount others eat. Even if she orders in something she saves most of it for the next weekday and only uses the bare minimum. Dh brought in some Indian takeaway once when she was staying with us and when he went to eat there was some plain rice and three tiny prawns, she had put the rest in the fridge for some other time and was surprised that we would want to eat more. Drives me nuts.

StealthPolarBear · 28/03/2011 21:17

Just tell them your HV has told you you must east 3 meals a day when bfing, otherwise your milk turns to water.
Only joking - please don't perpetuate the myth, but I'd be tempted :o

ZillionChocolate · 28/03/2011 21:25

YANBU. I'd be hungry and I don't have a baby.

paulapantsdown · 28/03/2011 21:29

My friends inlaws are like this - they went for lunch with the two kids (not babies), so, 4 adults and 2 kids kids and the MIL presented 2 x 8inch cheese and tomato pizzas on a tray. No garlic bread or salad too, just the pizzas!

Can your parents not get in the car and go and get something for you?

I would eat all of tomorrows lunch and get them to bring you to the shops in the morning to buy the makings of a big fry up breakfast.

FlaminGreatGallah · 28/03/2011 21:41

YANBU I've been in your position a few times. When we visit the ILs we stay with DH's grandmother who has the appetite of a bird and shops every day. She does bake things for us and is utterly lovely but I hate having to rely on other people for food and making decisions about mealtimes. Doubly horrible when I was BF.

So sorry for your loss too.

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