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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

By not wanting my sister to wind my 2-year-old up about cake?

46 replies

reddaisy · 27/03/2011 19:45

My sister speaks to my DD on the phone from time to time and she ALWAYS tells her to ask mummy for some chocolate/cake. Cue DD asking me, me saying no (last time this happened the phonecall was at 8am) and DD getting annoyed.

I have spoken to her about not doing it and decided last time she did it just not to put DD on the phone to her.

DD is with my mum today because I am at work and my sister is there and when I phone to speak to DD and my sister realises it is me, the first thing she does is say: "Ask your mum for some chocolate cake."

Cue DD asking me. There isn't even any chocolate cake for her to have there.

I asked to speak to Dsis on the phone and told her not to wind up my daughter any more about chocolate or cake and she told me to fuck off. Presumably in front of DD.

I have told DP and he is furious that she has done it again, told me to fuck off and he is feeling very protective of me because I am pregnant as well.

Are we overreacting or is she, like I told her a child who needs to grow up?

OP posts:
suzikettles · 27/03/2011 19:46

She is being a complete tit.

joydivisionovengloves · 27/03/2011 19:47

YANBU. Your sister sounds like an idiot!

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 27/03/2011 19:48

Sounds like your sister needs to grow up.... Tell her to fuck off next time

MissPenteuth · 27/03/2011 19:48

Your sister is being unfair to your DD by suggesting there's cake for her when there's not, and unfair to you by leaving you with the fallout. It is childish, imo.

suzikettles · 27/03/2011 19:49

Ask her why she insists on tormenting her niece? It's not very nice to bait a 2 year old.

She clearly thinks it's a funny joke and she's winding you up, but of course she's actually teasing a 2 year old which is a bit twisted - maybe this needs to be spelled out to her?

nightshade · 27/03/2011 19:49

yanbu.

ZillionChocolate · 27/03/2011 19:49

YANBU, perhaps it would be funny with a child old enough to be in on the joke but not for a 2 year old.

pjmama · 27/03/2011 19:50

How old is she? She sounds very immature. Have you tried explaining to her just how cruel and nasty it is for her to be teasing DD in this way? Because for me that would be the real issue, making a 2 year old think she might get a treat only for her to be told no. She's clearly doing it to wind YOU up, but what she's actually doing is upsetting a small child. If she doesn't see that then she's a nasty piece of work and I'd keep my child away from her until she grows up.

Nailitorelse · 27/03/2011 19:50

Tell your DD to ask your DSis why she keeps wanting to make her fat?

hairfullofsnakes · 27/03/2011 19:52

how old is she? she sounds like a real prat. keep her away from your dd until she can learn to grow up. can your mum have a word with her?

what a complete idiot she is!

FetchezLaVache · 27/03/2011 19:52

She is indeed a child who needs to grow up. Winding up a child like that is really quite mean.

Original poster
reddaisy · 27/03/2011 19:53

I did tell her to fuck off after she said it to me. DP now wants to ring her and give her a piece of his mind, trying to stop him so it doesn't turn into WW3.

OP posts:
pjmama · 27/03/2011 19:54

Just stop her from having any further contact with your DD until she can learn to treat her, and for that matter you, with a bit more respect. I'd have something to say about her swearing in front of DD too. TBH I think I'd probably just let your DP give her an earful.

Blatherskite · 27/03/2011 19:55

Why would anyone be so mean to a 2 year old?

YANBU!

I'd say wait till she has kids but I doubt you'd be so malicious to your niece or nephew.

cricketballs · 27/03/2011 19:58

have you thought that she may be doing this more and more just to laugh at your reactions? The best way of daeling with it is not to let her know how this is winding you up (same thing I tell my DC when they are being teased....)

Original poster
reddaisy · 27/03/2011 20:02

She is 26 and clearly as you have all gathered, doesn't have children. She is definitely doing it to wind me up and she knows it does. I have asked her not to do it in a jokey way and in a nice way but today was the final straw.

It really is pathetic as a family friend of ours was there (someone who we have both grown up with and who really and truly hasn't grown up) and the pair of them were laughing in the background as my sister was saying it so she was showing off.

I am sure it was all, reddaisy is so unreasonable and overreacts when I got off the phone.

OP posts:
twinkytonk · 27/03/2011 20:03

Your sis is being a complete arse! How mean to say that to a 2 year old knowing she won't get any.

Original poster
reddaisy · 27/03/2011 20:04

Blatherskite, I have thought about that but I really wouldn't wind a child up or use one as a pawn to get to an adult for a cheap laugh. She also only ever buys her gifts that she thinks will annoy us, just as a drum kit, a pair of cymbals etc. I can see the humour there but still, it does get predictable and boring.

OP posts:
Original poster
reddaisy · 27/03/2011 20:05

Uh oh. DP is going to ring her now. I bet that won't go down well.

OP posts:
ThatsTheWayWeRoll · 27/03/2011 20:07

God I can't wait until she has kids herself some day. YADNBU op and let your husband ring the silly cow and tear her a new one!

4FoxAche · 27/03/2011 20:08

Good! I hope your dp tells her exactly what he thinks.

Maybe then she'll grow the fuck up and stop acting like a twat!

Your dd must be getting so confused.

Skinit · 27/03/2011 20:08

YANBU. Dont let sis talk to her again on the phone....it's cruel!

IreneHeron · 27/03/2011 20:12

She is an arse. One day if she has kids she will be mortified at what a complete idiot she's being. I think spelling out to her how upsetting it is for your daughter would be the way to go. Try not to sound annoyed but calmly tell her that you know she thinks it is funny to wind you up but every time she does it your dd gets really upset. Try and make her realise that you are not at all wound up about it but dd is. She might then see her stupid joke has backfired cruelly and dd is the victim not you. End of stupid joke.

Unless your dp has already gone ballistic. Let us know how that went if so.

bullet234 · 27/03/2011 20:12

It might make her realise just how far her "joke" has gone. When it is you talking to her about it, she can dismiss it as "just my sister". When somebody else backs you up over it, it might get through to her how pathetic she's being.
I would say to your daughter "oh no, I've got something much nicer than chocolate/cake for you", then that turns out to be a story or trip to feed the ducks etc. Of course, that only works for a while, but by the time it doesn't work hopefully your dd will be old enough to understand about the joke. If your sister is still using it, of course.

FabbyChic · 27/03/2011 20:12

Let him ring her, she is a twat. I would say to your mum your daughter is not allowed there when the sister is there, and also tell your sister she is no longer welcome in your home if she cannot act like a responsible adult rather than go around winding up a 2 year old child.