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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

By not wanting my sister to wind my 2-year-old up about cake?

46 replies

reddaisy · 27/03/2011 19:45

My sister speaks to my DD on the phone from time to time and she ALWAYS tells her to ask mummy for some chocolate/cake. Cue DD asking me, me saying no (last time this happened the phonecall was at 8am) and DD getting annoyed.

I have spoken to her about not doing it and decided last time she did it just not to put DD on the phone to her.

DD is with my mum today because I am at work and my sister is there and when I phone to speak to DD and my sister realises it is me, the first thing she does is say: "Ask your mum for some chocolate cake."

Cue DD asking me. There isn't even any chocolate cake for her to have there.

I asked to speak to Dsis on the phone and told her not to wind up my daughter any more about chocolate or cake and she told me to fuck off. Presumably in front of DD.

I have told DP and he is furious that she has done it again, told me to fuck off and he is feeling very protective of me because I am pregnant as well.

Are we overreacting or is she, like I told her a child who needs to grow up?

OP posts:

MurkyTurkey · 27/03/2011 20:13

We used to have this with my sil and her husband, also childless.

They would torment DD mercilessly then shout at her if she started crying.

EEjits!

Bringonthegoat · 27/03/2011 20:17

She sounds like a selfish childish bitch. I hate wind up merchants - the end result is someone gets wound up then they act offended 'ooohh - what's the matter with you!?!'

I think your P should give her a piece of his mind for constantly upsetting his child. It's not on!

Original poster

reddaisy · 27/03/2011 20:19

"When it is you talking to her about it, she can dismiss it as "just my sister". When somebody else backs you up over it, it might get through to her how pathetic she's being."

That is exactly why DP wants to talk to her. To show it isn't just me feeling like this and that it is a childish joke that impacts on DD.

He must still be talking to her as he hasn't rung me back.

OP posts:

saffy85 · 27/03/2011 20:23

YANBU hate it when adults wind up kids, especially ones this young, for their own amusement/to piss off others. I'd stop your DD talking to your sister on the phone until she stops being an arsehole.

Hope your DP gives the daft bint what for.

Original poster

reddaisy · 27/03/2011 20:26

DP has just rung back (I am at work) and he had spoken to my sister briefly who said she had walked off with the phone before she said "fuck off" which I just don't believe.

And my mum ended up speaking to DP and saying there was cake there after all (not what she had said on the phone to me, she said DD was having strawberries) and that DD did get to have chocolate cake.

So DP was left with little he could say except that it isn't funny and we are sick of her winding up DD etc.

I am still fuming, I am supposed to be driving over to mum's to stay tonight as DD has got to stay there because I am working but I feel like going home and going to get her first thing as I don't want to see any of them without shoving a whole fucking chocolate cake in their faces!

OP posts:

marmaladetwatkins · 27/03/2011 20:28

She sounds like grand fun. Wind your necks in.

Original poster

reddaisy · 27/03/2011 20:30

I can send her over to babysit if you like Marmaladetwatkins. You might change your mind then!

OP posts:

Original poster

reddaisy · 27/03/2011 20:31

MurkyTurkey - how awful. How did you deal with it or did they just stop it when your DC grew out of it?

OP posts:

marmaladetwatkins · 27/03/2011 20:38

Ah, come on. She sounds a bit irritating. Just tell her to kindly shut the fuck up and stop letting it rile you up so much.

If the opening post got accidentally deleted but the rest of the thread left intact, anyone looking in would think your sister was guilty of lacing your coffee with anthrax.

bullet234 · 27/03/2011 20:40

"She sounds like grand fun. Wind your necks in."
She sounds like a pathetic individual who lacks the maturity to realise that winding up your adult sister is one thing, but winding up a two year old is another. But perhaps your sister isn't able to employ wit/humour effectively and has to resort to such tactics.
I suspect your mum to be covering up for your sister reddaisy. But in case she was telling the truth regarding the cake, you could say to her next time "oh, you know we are fine for my dd to eat some cake when she's at your house, you really didn't have to get my sister to ask my dd to ask for permission." However, I would also be annoyed if there was cake in this instant, because if you had told your dd "no", then your dd gets some cake anyway, that will also confuse her.

Original poster

reddaisy · 27/03/2011 20:42

I have told her and told her before Marmalade, not sure why an adult has to be told more than once that something they say to someone elses child upsets the child and pisses off the parent. Most adults would be embarrassed and wouldn't do it again.

OP posts:

MurkyTurkey · 27/03/2011 20:43

My sil no longer has any contact with dd, she could if she wanted to but chooses not to.

Your sister will probably only understand when she has children herself.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 27/03/2011 20:44

Slap her and then blame it on the pregnancy hormones.

Original poster

reddaisy · 27/03/2011 20:48

How would I know when to stop Amazing?! Or perhaps I should play her at her own game and train DD to slap her instead!

OP posts:

FreudianSlippery · 27/03/2011 20:55

YANBU she sounds like an immature twit. By the time I'm 26 I'll have a 6yo and a 4yo (fuck that's scary!!!) but would not ever have dreamed of doing something like that, even when I was a child. Some people just like to tease and/or bully.

Does she actually want children one day?

thisisyesterday · 27/03/2011 20:57

no yanbu, she's being really bloody stupid

can she not see how upsetting it is to tease a child like that?

rteally pisses me off

Original poster

reddaisy · 27/03/2011 21:24

FreudianSlippery - yes she does. She is getting married in June (on my 30th birthday even though there were plenty of other dates available ) and I know she wants children asap as she hates her job.

OP posts:

FreudianSlippery · 28/03/2011 08:30

She sounds like a charmer

QuintessentialShadows · 28/03/2011 08:41

Who instigated those phone calls?
You? Your dd? Your sister?

Unless it is your sister who asks to speak to your dd, I would say yabu, as she is clearly hinting that she is not keen to talk to a 2 year old. This is her way of saying "stop putting this child on the phone to me, I have nothing to talk to her about" So, to get off the phone with your dd, she has her ask for chocolate cake, because then at least the child lets go of the phone.

But if she asks to speak to your dd, and then brings up chocolate cake, then it is different. Just dont put her on the phone to your sister.

Do you think she could be annoyed you are using your mum for childcare, and decided to "mark her place" as it were?

twilight3 · 28/03/2011 08:50

dd used to wind up ds in a similar way just for fun when he was 2. She was 3-and-a-half. We explained to her that he gets upset and cries and it's not nice to make people cry.

She grew out of it by the time she was 4. What on earth is worng with your sister that she can't understand what a 4yo does? Why does she like to see her DN upset?

twilight3 · 28/03/2011 08:52

"she wants children asap as she hates her job"

because this is how the world works

She sounds like a spoiled brat to me

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