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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not mind my 18month old ds have an ice cream or lolly if its hot/social occasion/on the beach

128 replies

peanutdream · 27/03/2011 18:33

me and my dh are having a right old 'debate' about whether ice cream for under 5s is ok.

i think it is basically harmless to have as a treat. dh thinks it is unacceptable. i think he is being a bit ott.

aibu or is he?

OP posts:
MarineIguana · 27/03/2011 22:29

Peanut your DH does seem a bit confused - I could understand (well almost) if he had this attitude about multicoloured glowing neon jelly sweets etc. But ice cream? You can get good quality ice cream with no e-numbers, which will be a good source of calcium, maybe have some nice fruit in it and also some sugar. So what? Has he any idea how sugary breastmilk is? There is sugar in loads of things. It isn't evil, in moderation.

And as everyone else has said, getting your knickers in a twist about sugar and banning certain foods when other kids do get them is a much surer way of making your child want them even more.

My DS who is now 5 has always been allowed a bit of ice cream, chocolate or whatever we're having (within reason, not coffee and wine obv!) with no fuss about sugar. He's now pretty sensible about it, for a 5-year-old. If you give him chocolate he'll self-regulate and save some for later. He could raid the ice cream or chocolate in our house if he wanted to - he doesn't.

IAmTheCookieMonster · 27/03/2011 22:36

"children don't need sugar"
neither do adults, tell your DH he isn't allowed icecream either!

Icecream is fine as part of a balanced diet and is pretty nutritious as far as treats go. Could you compromise with frozen yoghurt?

Pancakeflipper · 27/03/2011 22:36

Your DH is being ridiculous.

Moderation.... In fact when little ones are icky an icepop often comes in handy. And for tonsilitus - well ice lollies and icecream are brilliant.

And I also have some photos of my little ones on a hot sunny day with a face covered in icecream or ice lolly (my youngest is dairy free and yet to have an icecream on the beach).

Out of interest what happens when the kid is 5. Why is it ok then?

risingstar · 27/03/2011 22:41

op- buy small child the ice cream. feed small child the ice cream. photo small child eating the ice cream. it can be yours and child's delicious secret.

i did this with my dad with the chip shop. forbidden fruit is always sweeter

roses42 · 27/03/2011 22:43

ladyofthemanor both my kids are well past the stage of me telling them what they can and cannot eat,

The odd ice cream and fruit shoot never did them any harm,.

bruffin · 27/03/2011 23:50

When DD was a baby to avoid too much mess, we used to ask for an extra plain cone (quite happy to pay for cone) and then just add a little bit of someone elses icecream to it. She was happy

Skinit · 28/03/2011 00:19

Suggest that he freeze some lentils or breastmilk into popsicle shapes and offer those on a stick when your DC is on the beach watching the other toddlers eat funny feet.

Is he for real? I hope you don't let him get his way??

Morloth · 28/03/2011 01:21

I think DS2 had his first ice cream at about 3 months. DS1 is a kind big brother who just loves to share with his baby bro...

He is still alive.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 28/03/2011 06:04

Hmmm, I have many disagreements with my husband over what's appropriate for our daughter, and whether he's modelling bad habits. He's thin and comes from a thin family, so he's very laid-back about this stuff, but when he's allowing ice cream in front of the TV for a two year old I get cross. I make frozen yoghurt/fruit things and she'll happily consider that a treat and eat it, why does he have to give her commercial sweetened vanilla ice cream instead?

That said, we disagree about the regularity of it (and the food in front of the bloody television, and the snacking just before dinner) rather than the existence of ice cream. Doesn't do anyone any good to set this parenting lark up in a binary way; can't you compromise on what constitutes a treat scenario? Like, only summer hols when they're two, maybe as a Sunday treat at the zoo when they're three, etc?

LadyOfTheManor · 28/03/2011 09:11

Roses, wow that's great for you! Do neither of them have any fillings too?

Psammead · 28/03/2011 09:24

Bruffin that's a good idea! I shall steal it Smile

SweetGrapes · 28/03/2011 09:45

Ds1 is not yet 5 and has always loved ice cream. However he doesn't like cold.
So, he sits on the grass/sand hogging his ice cream and not sharing with anyone and giving it miniscule licks and admiring looks until its all melted and on the ground!
Does that count??

With dd (my pfb) I didn't give her ice cream in her baby hood and early toddler years. But I was shocked when I realised that she was 4 and didn't know what to do with a cone! That surely was serious neglect!

DS2 has already been offered licks (he' 4 months old). Hasn't had any yet but I don't see how I can keep him from it for very long. If the rest of the family is having some, he will too!

SardineQueen · 28/03/2011 10:22

tortoise it's similar in our house. I'm the "thin family" person and he's the ahem not thin family. I would see ice cream as an occasional treat - if we're at the seaside, or on a particularly hot day in the park. I wouldn't normally have it in the house. He would always have the freezer stocked with ice-cream and would eat it willy-nilly.

It's not so much the foods that you have, but when/how you eat them, I think. I explain this but he still keeps buying it Hmm

SardineQueen · 28/03/2011 10:24

LOTM maybe roses children are adults now! You can't control them forever...

mylovelymonster · 28/03/2011 10:30

Me, 16mo & 4y had icecream (always check ingredients) yesterday, in the sunshine. Very messy, very enjoyable, then went to the park. Me & 16mo shared so she only has a little but loves it and giggles a lot. Elsewhere in the day she/they also enjoyed carrots, green beans, banana, apple, and strawberries.

This morning, after very good breakfast 16mo also had a few choccy buttons (once a week type thing)
It's all about moderation, isn't it?
I'm more crazed about salt than sugar - I may be wrong?

Blu · 28/03/2011 10:31

Lots of good ice cream has less sugar in it than a pot of fruit yogurt.

Good source of calcium and protein, too.

It is unbalanced to worry about these things in the context of a healthy child / all-round nutritious diet.

Al this qualifying 'as a treat', ridden with guilt and neuroticism.

mylovelymonster · 28/03/2011 10:35

...we do buy ice-lollies for our 4yo (since 3 really) but they are made of fruit juice alone (orange, blackcurrant, rspberry) with no e-numbers & no sugar, and are the size of mini-milks....is that ok???? She goes through stages of having one every day.............
(OMG froot acid!!!!) I make sure she brushes her teeth very well.....

mylovelymonster · 28/03/2011 10:38

4yo is watching television!! Right better get off here and take girls out in the sunshine to stock up on their vitD before someone calls the SS Blush

welshbyrd · 28/03/2011 11:00

Lovely monster your not alone, DDnearly 2yrs, is watching TV Grin Sometimes I think Mr Tumble is a godsend Blush

welshbyrd · 28/03/2011 11:08

SardineQueen - have images of LOTM, pulling at one end of fruit shoot bottle, while 20your old son/daughter pulling the other end

A child will always want what they can not have, everything in moderation, else they are going to end up when a bit older, spending their pennies on complete junk, as it have been forbidden so strictly for so long, well thats what I think anyway Blush

verytellytubby · 28/03/2011 11:13

I think your DH needs to chill out.

exhausted2011 · 28/03/2011 11:38

I don't understand the question. HA HA!!
my ds had 3 in one day last week (we were on hols)
and I don't care

ajourneyofgiraffes · 28/03/2011 11:54

My DS shares his ice-cream with the dog. Which I of course think is horrific, I mean, why would you share your ice-cream?

Original poster
peanutdream · 28/03/2011 11:58

thanks for all the replies Smile

great ideas - making them and mini milks

dh has chilled out on the issue Grin he is not usually so dogmatic Hmm...

and good points about calcium etc

yes ds is pfb lol

thnks again

OP posts:
DrSeuss · 28/03/2011 12:27

So, next time you're all in the park or on the beach, let him be the one to explain to the child why eeryone else is allowed a small treat and he's not! It's an ice cream, not crack cocaine!