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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to return to work but only one day a week?

69 replies

ladyandthechocolate · 26/03/2011 11:16

To give you some background:
I have a 2.5 DD and 11 month old triplet boys and i'm reaching the end of my maternity leave. I do clinical work for the NHS and had arranged to go back 2 days a week (16 hours, Thursday and friday) and my MIL was going to look after the children with some help from a paid friend on a Thursday. DH will have the children on Fridays as it is his day off (he works full time hours over 4 days).
Really sadly my MIL has just been diagnosed with non Hodgkins lymphoma and starts chemotherapy asap so there is now no question of her being able to help us. We just don't know at this stage whether she will recover or not. That leaves us without childcare on a Thursday and there are no other financially viable options to solve this.
I have asked work if I can return doing one day a week and they have said that this isn't a possibility as they stipulate that employees must work a minimum of 15 hours a week. I just don't know where I stand on this one; i'm hoping someone who knows something about employment law might come along.
I don't want to give up work completely- we can't afford it and it would be really hard to get back into in the future.

OP posts:

satanrejectedmysoul · 26/03/2011 12:53

lady - I love the names you have given your sons! My 2 year old DS is William and my 3 year old nephew is called Fergus x

TotemPole · 26/03/2011 12:55

Nursery would be £180 for them all and I would bring home about £100 so over a month it would be a big loss.

If you're entitled to help with child care via tax credit, you could get up to 80% of the costs.

Have a look here to see if you would be eligible.

Also take a look at (what used to be) the entitledto site here. You can put in a few different scenarios to work out what's best for you.

LIZS · 26/03/2011 12:56

Have you already given notice of return to work ?

Violethill · 26/03/2011 12:57

Have you considered a nanny-share? A nanny would work out cheaper than three nursery places (though when you get your free hours a week for your triplets you'd be better off with nursery - so perhaps use a nanny in the meantime??)

I imagine it would need to be a share with a nanny who is already working part time for a local family, as not many nannies would be prepared to work just one day a week. But there may be other families you could do this with and it could work out brilliantly until you get your free nursery hours

hairylights · 26/03/2011 13:02

Yes they can refuse your request for business reasons.

stoatie · 26/03/2011 13:26

You have my sympathies - NHS is not very child friendly, esp if you work in one of the clinical areas that works Mon-Fri 9-5 as there is less flexibility to work alternative shifts to juggle childcare. Depending on you area of work could you join an agency and pick up bank shifts on Fridays (would depend on demand)

Alternatively, and I realise this won't be popular option, could you work on bank as HCA either one night a week or maybe at weekend, this would give you more money to combine with your wages to afford childcare on Thursday. I realise this means working more - as well as looking after your children - just to afford childcare, however like you when I had my children the minimum I was able to work was 21 hours and for several years it felt as if all my money went on childcare, but I kept my job and was able to then progress when children older.

stoatie · 26/03/2011 13:27

Forgot to add - as someone else suggested look into childcare vouchers - they made childcare more affordable for us

Original poster

ladyandthechocolate · 26/03/2011 13:28

Thanks for all your kind replies, i'm too busy to properly read and digest right now so I will return later on.

OP posts:

MitchiestInge · 26/03/2011 13:33

Yes violethill, twenty and eighteen (also an eleven year old and was thrilled by the luxury of choice of nurseries for her as opposed to just cobbling whatever I could together)

I think you have to look at it a bit like a business that sometimes has to run at a loss, I had quite an overdraft but all things being equal this should have been offset by increased earning capacity by now - at least OP has someone to share costs with, that £180 isn't coming out of a single wage but is a burden that belongs to both of them. It all looks a bit one sided so far.

Journey · 26/03/2011 13:36

If employees need to work a miniumum of 15 hours a week then it is very unlikely you will be able to work one day a week. If this is stated in the HR employee handback (or equivalent) then it's not negotiable.

I know that you only want to know if you can or can't work one day a week but it is worth considering the long term benefit of paying for childcare costs. Childcare costs might be high, however, if your four children are in nursery for one day a week while your DH looks after them the other day, then it is the equivalent cost of two children being in nursery for two days so the bill isn't as big as it could be for having four children. If the job would be hard to get back into it might be worth taking home very little just to keep your career going long term.

Violethill · 26/03/2011 13:50

I have 3 children as well, MitchiestInge, though not with such a large gap, but even so, I noticed by the third one that already by that time there were day nurseries opening up in the area (I only had a choice of childminders for dc1 - no nurseries within striking distance). I think there must have been a point around 15 years ago when it all started to take off, and people had more options available to them.

TBH I think parents of pre-schoolers have it much better now in comparison, though I appreciate that if you've never known anything different, it seems like a big financial hit.

Journey - hadn't thought of that - you make a very good point, if the OP looks on it as the equivalent of two children being in nursery for two days, then it paints an entirely different picture, and in fact is less than many people with large families spend on childcare.

A1980 · 26/03/2011 19:34

I'm sorry for your predicament.

Legally your employers are under a duty to make reasonable adjustments for you to return from maternaity leave. But 1 day a week does sound unreasonable. Is it even worth it money wise?

Violethill · 26/03/2011 19:43

A1980 - I think the point is that the OPs husband has a day off then, so they wouldn't be spending anything on childcare - so it would definitely be worth it financially!!

However, as Journey sensibly pointed out above, paying for childcare for 4 children for one day, is only the equivalent of paying for 2 children for 2 days, so it would still be very much worthwhile to return for the two days a weel/

It sounds as though the employer is being very reasonable btw - they are offering 2 days, but they aren't happy to offer just one, which is absolutely reasonable, given the costs of employing someone, training etc etc

A1980 · 26/03/2011 20:06

Sorry Violet, I skim read alot of it. 3 pages is alot.

But legally (and I am a lawyer) the emplopyers are under a duty to make reasonable adjustments. So it depends whether they consider only having the OP back 1 day a week is an adjustment they can make.

expatinscotland · 26/03/2011 20:20

'So it depends whether they consider only having the OP back 1 day a week is an adjustment they can make.'

And considering the stipulation that employees must work a minimum of 15 hours/week, it doesn't seem a request they are able to accommodate.

Violethill · 26/03/2011 20:45

Many employers wouldn't agree to employ someone for just one day a week. They are under no legal obligation to do so, and in fact, the OP seems to have a pretty good offer of two days on the table.

Original poster

ladyandthechocolate · 26/03/2011 22:14

Ok, to reply. The problem is that I don't love work. It's ok and all that, pays the bills etc. I have worked hard to get where I am though and there was a time when I was really ambitious and wanted to get as far as I could. Maybe when the children are older I might enjoy it again but right now i'd rather be at home with them. That is quite possibly reducing my motivation to put them into childcare and accept that I am working just to pay someone else to look after them. I am not in any way judging those who do use nurseries etc but it's just not what I want for my kids (even if it is just one day a week). Also, it's just such a headache to sort out that it's putting me off. Trying to find a local nursery to take all 4 on a Thursday is hard, most are full or want a minimum of 2 days.
However, I am worried that when they are older and working is easier that I will have burnt my bridges as I would have to undertake a retraining period and go in at the bottom of the salary scale. So for long term benefit I should probably try to go back to work.
I will definitely look into childcare vouchers, tax credits etc so thanks for the suggestions. I could give up my regular job and do bank work but it's unreliable, there are fewer benefits and DH doesn't want us to lose out on all our family weekend time.
Reading this back I obviously want the moon on a stick

OP posts:

porcamiseria · 26/03/2011 22:19

yes they can sadly, employers have rights too! its such a shame about your MIL, but these things happen. I would guess you have to wait a few years until babies at nursery and its a bit more viable

A1980 · 26/03/2011 22:44

"Ok, to reply. The problem is that I don't love work. It's ok and all that, pays the bills etc."

Even if we've worked hard to get where we are, I don't really know of that many people who whistle to work and look forward to Monday morning

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