Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to return to work but only one day a week?

69 replies

ladyandthechocolate · 26/03/2011 11:16

To give you some background:
I have a 2.5 DD and 11 month old triplet boys and i'm reaching the end of my maternity leave. I do clinical work for the NHS and had arranged to go back 2 days a week (16 hours, Thursday and friday) and my MIL was going to look after the children with some help from a paid friend on a Thursday. DH will have the children on Fridays as it is his day off (he works full time hours over 4 days).
Really sadly my MIL has just been diagnosed with non Hodgkins lymphoma and starts chemotherapy asap so there is now no question of her being able to help us. We just don't know at this stage whether she will recover or not. That leaves us without childcare on a Thursday and there are no other financially viable options to solve this.
I have asked work if I can return doing one day a week and they have said that this isn't a possibility as they stipulate that employees must work a minimum of 15 hours a week. I just don't know where I stand on this one; i'm hoping someone who knows something about employment law might come along.
I don't want to give up work completely- we can't afford it and it would be really hard to get back into in the future.

OP posts:
HappyMummyOfOne · 26/03/2011 11:46

As long as they have good business reasons of course they can refuse to let you work when you want. A 15 hours min contract sounds a good enough business reason.

Its not their fault that you wont use childcare outside family.

MitchiestInge · 26/03/2011 11:48

£120 - £200 between two people isn't much is it? Especially if each person makes an equal % of earning contribution.

MitchiestInge · 26/03/2011 11:48

The concept of completely free childcare is a bit alien to me, sorry.

TidyDancer · 26/03/2011 11:53

It is a lot if you're only earning in the region of £50-60 a day. Sucks up the whole day's pay, and then some.

lenak · 26/03/2011 11:54

What sort of clinical work do you do? Is it seeing patients or office based research?

Can you not ask to do a weekend day or work from home for one of your days if it is office based?

NinkyNonker · 26/03/2011 11:55

Pretty sure they can refuse if not in best interests of company. They don't have to say yes to any flexing of hours etc, they just have to prove they can't, and really tried, if you see what I mean.

Animation · 26/03/2011 11:56

It's not unreasonable because it looks like one day is all you can really do without spending on child care. You have a lot on.

Original poster
ladyandthechocolate · 26/03/2011 11:57

Concordia they are Fergus, Isaac and William. They are gorgeous big healthy boys and I am very lucky :)
We could not afford to lose money and pay for childcare. Nursery would be £180 for them all and I would bring home about £100 so over a month it would be a big loss.
I will contact tamba- good idea.
Unfortunately no other family members and the children are too much for one person who isn't me or DH.
I did find one CM but as you pay per child, again it would cost more than I would earn.

OP posts:
MitchiestInge · 26/03/2011 11:59

How is it a loss if you pay, say, £70 and your husband £110?

Original poster
ladyandthechocolate · 26/03/2011 11:59

I see patients. Work from home or evening/ weekend work not an option.
They have said that my request does not fit with the needs of the service and I can see what they mean.

OP posts:
MitchiestInge · 26/03/2011 12:00

I think you have to factor in the longer term losses in terms of experience and opportunities for promotion, professional development.

jubilee10 · 26/03/2011 12:02

If you are working 16 hours you would qualify for help with childcare through the child tax credit. This is unless you earn too much to qualify - in which case surely you could afford childcare for one day to keep your job open. As you are in the NHS could you use paid and unpaid parental leave - you must have loads of it - to work one day until you see how mil gets on? She may well be able to look after them in 6 months time. They should surely be prepared to meet with you to discuss any options. Could DH use some Annual Leave initially to help out? Where there's a will there's a way!

SarkyLady · 26/03/2011 12:03

Agree with others that it is reasonable for them to refuse.

Make sure you don't lose sight of the long term financial implications. You have a relatively short period of sky-high childcare costs, but the long term hit of leaving work could be potentially far greater.

Original poster
ladyandthechocolate · 26/03/2011 12:04

Mitchiest- our finances are entirely joint, we look at joint money left over after all expenses have gone out and when we only have about £150 left over on paper each month, losing money on childcare is not an option.

OP posts:
MitchiestInge · 26/03/2011 12:07

I think you'll find a lot of parents lose money on childcare, particularly single parents (am thinking of when mine were tiny and there were no subsidies or even very much by way of private provision) - it should be easier but those early years are gruelling and compromises have to be made. If you own your home you may be able to raise money by remortgaging?

SarkyLady · 26/03/2011 12:10

Have you factored in things like childcare vouchers?

thinkingkindly · 26/03/2011 12:17

Lady, just want to say I am awestruck. Triplets, three-year-old and going back to work! Brilliant!

One option would be to lose out on the childcare for a short period. Bear in mind that DD will get vouchers once she is three so her childcare should be more-or-less free then. And yes talk to CTC people because you would presumably get money for the childcare depending on how much DH earns. You don't want to pay more in childcare than you earn, obviously, but sometimes there is no other option other than giving up work (which is what a lot of women do of course).

I would post this in legal as well as talking to Tamba and also talk to your HR department about the circs. It may be that they will help if you explain about your MIL (on compassionate grounds).

receiverofopiniongiver · 26/03/2011 12:20

As you have been on maternity leave you will have accrued holiday, plus you have this year's holiday leave. Could you not go back on the 2 days a week, and take your holiday as one Thursday a week. This will provide you with some time.

Were you full time before maternity leave? Therefore 210 hours annual leave - 84 hours annual leave this year = 294 hours.

294 / 7.5 = 39 days

39 weeks of 1 day a week. Gives you some more breathing space to think of alternatives.

Your husband takes one day a week holiday for 13 weeks (doesn't have to be 13 weeks straight just 13 weeks in the year) - 13 days leave.

You have covered a year of childcare. Then revise the situation.

NonnoMum · 26/03/2011 12:23

Just want to say Good Luck to you OP. Sounds a really tricky dilemma. Congrats on the 4 healthy children and sorry to hear about your MiL.

I would contact your union (?), Childcare voucher people, TAMBA, whoever for advice...

fluffles · 26/03/2011 12:24

it sounds to me like you've exhausted all the options for you working less and discovered that 15hrs is the minimum (would also be where i work, something to do with the overheads not being worth it for a staff memeber who works less)..

but it doesn't sound like you're really exploring all the options for your DH. you say he does full-time over 4 days, could he not do 3 long days for a while, say three ten-hr days giving 30hrs? or could DH do some weekend work? or even just use paternity or annual leave for a bit.

when you're already down at the minimum possible working hours then you can't compromise any more or ask your employer to, DH may have to try to get his employer to.

melikalikimaka · 26/03/2011 12:25

It sounds like too much bother with trying to get free or cheap childcare I think I would ask for a sabbatical, sometimes they offer these for 2 years or so. Otherwise, I would give up the job, economically or physically, it doesn't make sense to go back.

satanrejectedmysoul · 26/03/2011 12:40

So sorry about your MIL. You could take an unpaid career break for up to 5 years. During the career break register to work with NHS professionals and you can work as many or as few shifts as you please. There is always the option of returning to your original job when circumstances improve.

Violethill · 26/03/2011 12:45

MitchiestInge - are your children older teens, like mine? Sounds like you were using childcare at a similar time as me, when there were no subsidised places (and maternity leave was a lot shorter, meaning you were paying full childcare over a much longer period of time, between returning to work and your children starting school)

Personally I would take the short term financial hit for the sake of long term financial gain. That's what many parents do. We had three pre schoolers and yes, financially it's tough, and we had to pay for all our childcare - no free help at all.

Presumably your eldest dc will qualify for a subsidised nursery place soon. You'll then have a couple of years of things being a financial squeeze until your other children qualify for it.

Believe me, although it's a pain to feel that working is 'costing' you, things are so much better now than a couple of decades back. Also, once you factor in things like long term progression, pension etc you can see that there are many advantages to remaining in work, even if for the moment its financially tough

mysteryfairy · 26/03/2011 12:51

I am really sorry about your situation. It must be so hard coping with your MIL's diagnosis and then having this additional worry on top.

I know there is an entitlement to take up to 13 weeks unpaid leave before your child's 6th birthday. I was going to actually take 4 weeks leave when DD started school as it was a school with very part time hours though as it turned out got a new role in the July which made it impractical to take the leave.

There are various conditions round taking the leave and I have a feeling one of them might be taking it in full blocks. I am also not sure if with triplets you are entitled to 3*13 weeks or not. However I do know that people where I work have used this leave to prolong maternity leave and also I think to stagger a return to work. I would definitely find out how this can be used and even if there are strict rules you might be able to reach an agreement.

In addition if you have accrued holiday over your maternity leave perhaps you could take holiday every Thursday for a while?

I realise neither of these will resolve stuff forever but it might buy you some time in which a better solution presents itself or maybe even your MIL gets through her illness and you can go back to plan a.

It is very difficult when you have a lot of small children. When I went back to work after my third child I was literally working just to cover full time nursery fees plus two lots of before and after school care. However my career has gone from strength to strength over the last few years, I've had lots of promotions and pay rises and I am so glad I persevered although it was very hard at the time. I have friends with children similar ages who are really struggling to get back to work and ending up in low status low pay jobs. I think it is worth keeping this bigger picture in mind, especially as you may be looking at covering an awful lot of uni fees all at once in the future!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Honeybee79 · 26/03/2011 12:52

Sorry you're in this situation. Sounds really tough.

It depends on the nature of your work I should think but I imagine that your employer might have grounds for refusing, yes.