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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that FIL keeps coming to stay saying he wants to see his grandson, but instead spends the entire time in front of sky sport

45 replies

tholeon · 26/03/2011 09:30

it is on at the moment, he just takes charge of the remote control and sits there in front of the tv, all the time. Expecting full hotel services. And not playing with his grandson. I am getting cross.

OP posts:
compo · 26/03/2011 09:32

I'd arrange for you all to go out

'fil we're off to the zoo now would you like to come?' if he says no go anyway

where's his son in all this? Watching sky sports next to him? Why dorsnt he organise entertaining his dad?

DaftApeth · 26/03/2011 09:37

Take the card out before he arrives and take the batteries out of the remote

Original poster
tholeon · 26/03/2011 09:45

his son is currently watching the tv too. hence my extra crossness. He (DH) suggested playing in the garden with DS (21 months), then his dad said something along the lines of 'oh but the cricket is on' and off they both went..

leaving me with washing, breakfast clearing up, DS to look after...

he was here yesterday and yep I took DS to the park without him. But removing the batteries is tempting...

OP posts:
timeforachangearooney · 26/03/2011 10:03

is it an option for you to go out on your own and just leave them to it?

Inertia · 26/03/2011 10:13

Hide the sky card, take the batteries out of the remote, and put your foot down ! You need to call your FIL and your DH, DH should not be letting your son down and FIL can watch cricket at his own house ! Don't leave them to it, go out with DH ans ds before FIL gets the chance to come round.

Skinit · 26/03/2011 10:18

What do you mean "coming to stay"? Is he spending the night?

I would hide the remote or the card if I were you. That and have hard words with DH.

CheekyLittleSox · 26/03/2011 10:18

Cancel Sky Sports i would. Problem solved.

Gingefringe · 26/03/2011 10:23

How very rude to take charge of the remote in YOUR house.
Remote controls are a very 'male' thing - I know how my husband gets quietly furious when my dad even touches it in our house.
Maybe he doesn't have sky in his own home or your MIL doesn't allow him to watch sports all the time (if so, very wise!!).
It's a bit cheeky of him to use the excuse of coming to see your DS then plonk himself in front of your telly.
Either take the sky card out as others have suggested or take the fuse out of the TV plug and pretend the telly's broken next time he comes round.

Hassled · 26/03/2011 10:25

Go out on your own. Invent a hair appointment or something.

bintofbohemia · 26/03/2011 10:25

And leave all the clearing up etc to your DH...

christinecagney · 26/03/2011 10:31

Well you are being a bit U IMHO! This happens in my house (FIL over to see us, then plonks down to watch sports as not allowed in his own house). I think (after many years of this!) that watching sport togther is a man/boy bonding thing and feels quite natural to them and like a good activity to be doing IYSWIM.

Embrace it. Go off with book and a cup of coffee, leave all the household stuff. Let them build their own little sport world, and just chill.

Ten years on I know that I will have a realy quiet weekend to myself whilst they all watch the cricket. Fab Smile

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/03/2011 10:36

It could be much worse!

Original poster
tholeon · 26/03/2011 10:41

I can't go off with a book and a cup of coffee christine I have a toddler! No worries if I didn't...

OP posts:
grovel · 26/03/2011 10:41

YABU. It's a World Cup quarter final and it's very tense. Send him over to my place. I'll indulge the old sod.

cocoachannel · 26/03/2011 10:42

YABU - it's a huge game! Knock out World Cup match. DH and DD (4 weeks) and I are having a very relaxing morning cheering on England Wink

Hereforlife · 26/03/2011 10:44

A few years all 3 of them will be there watching Sky Sports.

Think of all the free time you'll have.

SarkyLady · 26/03/2011 10:44

Why can't you go off?

I would.

SarkyLady · 26/03/2011 10:46

Either go out and have fun.
Or stay in with them and be miserable.

Some people find sport more interesting than young children.

ChaoticAngelofDenial · 26/03/2011 10:47

Put your DS on your DH's knee tell him you're going out and go.

TidyDancer · 26/03/2011 10:53

Failing to see why you can't go out....

But that aside, YANBU because he seems to be making the excuse to come round to watch the cricket. But it's solely because he's making an excuse, not what he's actually doing. Others are right though, in a few years it could be something they enjoy together, which would be lovely.

Does he spend time with DS at other times?

bigTillyMint · 26/03/2011 10:55

ginge my FIL always takes charge of the remote when he comes - I thought it was just me that finds it rudeSmile

I used to hide the remote when they were coming as otherwise the TV would be on 24/7. Different place each timeWink

Plan a coffee/swim/ whatever as he arrives and leave them to it!

2rebecca · 26/03/2011 11:13

Sitting and watching sport with his son is a reasonable thing to do. Very few men are really interested in small kids and expect seeing the kid was an excuse, or he's happy to see his grandson but "seeing him" to him just means watching him toddle about rather than him having to actually do anything.
Just do your own thing and in future if having guests round agree a plan of action with your husband in advance.

LittleMissHissyFit · 26/03/2011 11:19

Take your DS out yourself Sod the pair of them!

lesley33 · 26/03/2011 11:20

Many men of the older generation have not been brought up to play with children and wouldn't really know how to do it. He is probably thinking that he is seeing his GS. He is watching sport with him.

TBH I think you are being too controlling in trying to say what kind of relationship you think your son and GF should have. I would let them get on with it, although encouraging days out is a good idea.

And yes I would go out of the house with the toddler and enjoy some 1-1 time.

Fimbo · 26/03/2011 11:25

My mum does the same thing, except it is trashy daytime telly. Have tried hiding the remote but she just asks where it is, although she can't work it and either asks me or the dc to put it on for her. She sits there morning noon and night whilst we all treat her like royalty. Arrrghhh just foaming at the mouth thinking about her next visit at Easter.

Sorry op you have my deepest sympathies.