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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think when you're a guest in someone's home it's a bit odd to

34 replies

washnomore · 26/03/2011 08:37

... appear downstairs wearing the dressing gown you've found hanging in the bathroom?

I've got an ancient fluffy dressing gown which is motheaten and threadbare and should really go in the bin if I wasn't so attached to it. Furthermore, I'm BFing so it's often a bit milky and yuck. Not ripe and festering or anything but still, not freshly laundered.

MIL is staying and yesterday morning she came down wearing it. I was a bit Hmm, although mostly embarrassed because it really is a rag. I apologised and got my (more presentable and clean!) spare one out of the wardrobe for her.

I'm just not sure whether now I should be providing dressing gowns for guests or whether it's odd that she helped herself? I'm more embarrassed than bothered but just Hmm - I wouldn't help myself to someone else's clothes, in particular not something as personal but maybe I'm the odd one!

OP posts:
pigletmania · 26/03/2011 08:40

Aghgh no I would ask if I had not brought one, YANBU

squeakytoy · 26/03/2011 08:44

Perhaps she thought you had left it in the bathroom for her to put on. :)

scuzy · 26/03/2011 08:53

take it as a compliment that she feels that comfortable in your home to do that!!!

Original poster
washnomore · 26/03/2011 08:53

squeaky if she thinks I'd purposely select such a horror for her to wear I've got big problems!

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 26/03/2011 08:56

It is lovely that she feels so comfy with you. But I'd have done what you did, and next time make sure there's a clean one on the door!

everlong · 26/03/2011 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Itsjustafleshwound · 26/03/2011 09:00

everlong - huh?? She wasn't having a go at her MIL so put the horse back in the stable!

ginmakesitallok · 26/03/2011 09:02

my Mum does this when she stays with us - nothing odd in it at all

MitchiestInge · 26/03/2011 09:04

It would be odd if she curled out a massive poo on her pillow and left it there for you to find.

pigletmania · 26/03/2011 09:04

I dont blame the op for being embarrassed I would feel the same way. MIL should have asked if the OP had anything she could wear.

Goblinchild · 26/03/2011 09:04

I think that a lot of Mumsnetters are going to have a shock when they become that hated figure, the MIL.
Considering how much precious behaviour there is on display on this site about many of their beloved children, a large number are shaping up to be the MIL from Hell. Grin
Perhaps there will have to be a breakaway forum?
OP, it was nice of you to get her a clean one, rather than yelling 'Oi you cow, that's mine.'
She obviously feels welcome in your home.

Original poster
washnomore · 26/03/2011 09:32

I really wasn't having a go about her - we get on well, and I've no doubt that she feels very comfortable here. I don't think my post suggests I'm annoyed with her, does it? And the fact that it's MIL is irrelevant, I'd feel the same if it was my own Mum!

I shall buy a couple of spares for guests. It's not unlike me to be oblivious to hostess etiquette!

OP posts:
lesley33 · 26/03/2011 10:07

I wouldn't expect an adult staying in our house to use a dressing gown hanging up on the bathroom door. So I don't think it would be expected for you to provide this. But I would do as you are doing and buy one for the MIL to use.

Skinit · 26/03/2011 10:21

I don't think it's "lovely" as some people have put....I think it's weird! If you want a gown to wear then you'd bring you own surely?? Or ask.

Dressing gowns are very personal....almst like shoes...I wear mine with nthing underneath and wold hate MIL to wear it.

ZZZenAgain · 26/03/2011 10:22

it is kind of strange to wear other people's clothes without asking

ZZZenAgain · 26/03/2011 10:23

is it a bathroom only she was using or a joint family one? If it was an ensuite maybe she could have thought you left it there for her, otherwise bit odd and as you say it wasn't particularly fresh so....

Hassled · 26/03/2011 10:24

It's the sort of thing you'd do in a hotel, isn't it - putting on a dressing gown you spot in the bathroom. Weird to do it in someone's house.

Original poster
washnomore · 26/03/2011 10:28

Oh goodness me no en suite here! It was hanging in its scabby glory on the back of the bathroom door next to a couple of bathtowels and a coat hanger. I usually leave her own fresh towels out on the end of her bed, so could leave a dressing gown too next time.

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 26/03/2011 10:29

then I find it a strange move on her part. No, I don't have a supply of dressing gowns for guests tbh

do other people?

ZZZenAgain · 26/03/2011 10:31

shed'll be touched if you get one specially for her. They take up a lot of room in a case/bag. That'll win you some brownie points

Skinit · 26/03/2011 10:31

I don't have special gowns for guests....people bring their own!

thumbwitch · 26/03/2011 10:44

well since she's family, it's not that odd I suppose - whenever I go back to England and stay at my Dad's, I borrow a dressing gown if I need to. They're too big to pack one in the case. But I ask first, even so - because the dressing gown is my Mum's who is passed away, so I don't want to upset Dad.

But maybe that's different because it's all my family, my old house, my Mum's dressing gown? I don't know - I think if your MIL thinks of you as close family then that's a good thing.

I feel your pain re. the state of the one she chose though!!

thumbwitch · 26/03/2011 10:46

I have to point out something that made me Grin though - when I opened your thread, it reads "Am I Being Unreasonable to think when you're a guest in someone's home it's a bit odd to..
Washnomore

Grin
Original poster
washnomore · 26/03/2011 10:49

Oh now I'm worried in case she thinks she's annoyed me if she finds one put out for her when she next comes Confused

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 26/03/2011 10:49

no, why would she think that?

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