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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not put a nappy on my 3yr old tomorrow night

34 replies

CheekyLittleSox · 25/03/2011 21:33

Bit wary of putting this in here as would expect a backlash as thats all AIBU seems to be about these days but i need help with this one.....

He is potty training, he is good with wee through the day but come night time 5 mins after putting a nappy on him he poos in it.

He holds it in until the nappy is on him. i have had hi sat on the toilet for an hour asking him to poo. Gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he didnt want one, put his nappy on, took him to bed and within minutes of being downstairs he shouts down that he has had a poo :(

I am beginning to loose patients(SP) with him and am thinking tomorrow night not to put a nappy on him and just put him in pants with his potty in his room. He uses the potty/toilet for wees and has done a few poos on the potty but will now not do it on them :(

OP posts:
hairfullofsnakes · 25/03/2011 21:35

Have no advice but as I need to night train my three year old I will be dipping in for tips! X

dwpanxt · 25/03/2011 21:37

Put a nappy on him and sit him on the potty -job ..er...done Grin

FreudianSlippery · 25/03/2011 21:39

I am by no means an expert on this but I'd guess that having him sat on the loo for an hour is a really bad idea, and if you do it often it is probably making the problem worse rather than better.

Beamur · 25/03/2011 21:39

My DD was like this for a while, I don't think they do it to be annoying or stubborn, it just takes a while to learn.
I put a potty in the bedroom too and put DD in pull ups at night and we had a few occasions where she did the poo in the pull up, then took the pull up off and emptied it in the potty...
I recall talking to the staff at nursery during this time, DD was dry and clean all day but would 'save up' a poo for her bedtime nappy - its quite common and many of the tots were exactly the same.
It will pass, but maybe just be patient with him for a little while longer.

Original poster
CheekyLittleSox · 25/03/2011 21:40

Its soooo frustrating isnt it :(

OP posts:
fishandlilacs · 25/03/2011 21:41

My dd did this for months and months long after she was well potty trained for wees. I got sick back to back teeth of picking up bags of dirty pooey clothes from nursery and changing pooey bums eventually got her some pull ups for nursery. Give the lad a bit more time and relax-is it really that inconvenient?

Original poster
CheekyLittleSox · 25/03/2011 21:44

no its not inconvenient but he can do it. Then like over night he just stopped doing it :(

OP posts:
walesblackbird · 25/03/2011 21:45

Poo can actually be quite scary for a young child - after all, how often have they actually seen it? You change their nappy and whip the contents away - and they rarely see what they produce.

And then suddenly no nappies ......

And it's not unusual for children to soil long after they're dry. My eldest was dry reasonably quickly but it took another six months before he would poo on the toilet. Eventually he learned when he needed to go and rather than standing in a corner and poo'ing in his pants he started asking for a pull up. Then poo'd. Then I'd change him.

It will come in time, although I do think boys are quite often slower than girls to grasp it.

Maybe take him to the toilet when you go and show him that it's okay and nothing to be worried about? And then just go with the flow. He's unlikely to still be in nappies at 16!!

FabbyChic · 25/03/2011 21:46

He is only three years old for god sake, some are not ready to shit on the pot at that age, and you might find it easier to put the nappy on earlier so he shits in it.

You are expecting a bit much of a three year old to be honest.

BornToFolk · 25/03/2011 21:46

If you don't put a nappy on him, you'll probably end up changing a pooey bed at 2am, rather than a pooey nappy 5 mins after bedtime...

Relax, he'll get there.

Original poster
CheekyLittleSox · 25/03/2011 21:47

i hope he isnt in nappies at 16 Wink

thanks. iv tried the mr poo goes to pooland but he just laughs. thank you

OP posts:
thejaffacakesareonme · 25/03/2011 21:52

You could try that, but if it doesn't work you could end up having to strip the bed if the poo goes everywhere. I'd be tempted to offer him a couple of chocolate buttons for every time he does a poo on the toilet during the day.

Original poster
CheekyLittleSox · 25/03/2011 21:53

jaffa iv tried that, iv tried stickers, good boy poo chart and nothing he finds it funny

OP posts:
walesblackbird · 25/03/2011 21:54

Smarties worked for my daughter. Clean and dry within 5 days - day and night. But then she is a greedy pig Smile.

FabbyChic · 25/03/2011 21:55

The problem you have is that if you don't put the nappy on he might end up not going and become constipated. That would he pretty awful.

spiderlight · 25/03/2011 21:57

Read this with him - it worked miracles for us literally overnight after months of poo-related stalemate!

Original poster
CheekyLittleSox · 25/03/2011 21:57

His poos are very hard and like peanuts already :( But DS1 had a bowel problem when he was 6mths, so dont want him to get poorly if he is prone to the same as DS1, he complains of belly ache but im not surprised if he is holding it in all day :(

OP posts:
Original poster
CheekyLittleSox · 25/03/2011 21:58

spider iv read it to him but he just laughs

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 25/03/2011 22:00

I think you need a nappy back on him in the day if he is holding it in till the night time. He isnt ready yet, and is going to have bowel problems.

schroeder · 25/03/2011 22:02

a Kitkat worked for us Smile

RJRabbit · 25/03/2011 22:04

I've got a 3 and a half year old who has just "got it". (He thought Poo goes to Pooland was quite funny too!).

I think you should have a chat to him and ask him to tell you when he wants a pull-up. Put one on him and then change him as soon as he's been, putting him immediately back into normal pants. Saving everything up for bedtime is not cool and may lead to more night-time wee/poo issues (in my opinion). Letting him have a pull-up whenever he needs it takes the stress out of the whole thing for him.

I found that my son was scared of sitting on the toilet as it's too high, and the several potties he had were too hard on his little bottom. I bought him one of those ones with the lid that also has a soft seat and overnight he went from pull-ups to potty.

I was very surprised it was something so simple and kicked myself for not having thought of it sooner. Now I've just got to teach him to wipe his own bottom and go on the big toilet.....

TruthSweet · 25/03/2011 22:25

Have you thought about letting your DS wear a nappy whilst he sits on the toilet or trying on the potty (it's a long way down to the water when your 3!).

If he gets used the the feeling of sitting/squatting to poo with a nappy on, then you could then loosen the nappy so he's wearing it but it's not done up whilst he poos, when he's used to that, then you could move on to putting the nappy in the potty and letting him poo on top of it and finally trying to poo directly on the potty. It may take a while though so patience is necessary Wink

Some children also like to see their poo thrown down the toilet and they get to flush it away. Does your DS know what poo actually is and why his body makes poo? Some children think it is part of them that is being lost so they don't want it to go so hold on and on and on.

Also if he seems constipated when he poos you could try asking if he wants to do a poo earlier in the day if he wears a nappy to do it (even if you just put it on so he can sit on the potty to do it). It may be he is holding the poo in until bedtime when he definitely gets a nappy to wear rather than risk doing it in his pants/the toilet.

CrystalsandDiamonds · 26/03/2011 07:45

It could be that he feels safe doing it in his nappy so maybe try putting a nappy under the toilet/potty seat and see if he will do one then

seeker · 26/03/2011 07:50

You back off completely, let him pee in the loo or potty and tell him to ask you for a nappy for a poo. It's no big deal, he'll get there. And if he's constipated already forcing the issue will make it worse. Relax. Just wait, and in time it'll come.

And don't, under any circumstances talk about it or make it seem like an issue. I promise that will make it worse.

x2boys · 26/03/2011 11:25

my ds age 4 did this and would also try and poo on floor at times but he got used to it eventually he was fully dry and and pooing in the toilet about two months after he turned three and was dry at night just before last xmas he was 4 on boxing day they all do it in their own time

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