In wishing dh didnt phone me every bloody minute of the day

[onlion]

When I am home, I will be just getting into some fooling around on the net important work and he will phone, constantly. Its so annoying1
He also rings to see if I have get on with doing some task or something that needs doing in the day (most usually something for him) and the phone calls actually stop me getting on with them.

e.g phone rings
him: have you phoned about the xxx yet
me: no, Im just about to
him: well you need to as I need to know asap so I can sort thing out
me: yes, well I will as soon as you ring off
him : well make sure you do it
me; I will , when we are done

grrr

Exactly Poochela. I love the fact that having been married for almost 20 years, he still thinks of me first and actually wants to talk to me!

No, you didn't say "some men are like this" you said "as a man" meaning "men are like this". If you're happy, good for you.

OK, I stand corrected at that and I apologise. But I did mean some men do think that, and you have to admit, some men do, right?

Some do, yes. Which is indicative of how for some men keeping tabs on their wives by phoning them throughout the day can be a sign of a sinister attitude. For you it isn't like that, which is great.

I suppose I suggested that to the OP, because I know there is nothing sinister in DH's intentions. I've never thought of it any other way and because of that, I don't think that someone elses DH could ever think that way. Blinkered of me, I guess.

I'm sorry if I may have offended you in my first post.

Dp does this too, he phones when he has nothing at all to say and follows the same script, "are you ok?" "are the kids ok?" "what shall we have for tea?" aaaaargh drives me mental, especially when he phones at 8.30am when I am trying to chivvy the kids out of the door/look for that elusive shoe/hairbrush.

I think it's just habit rather than anything sinister, i am highly unlikely to be getting up to anything interesting.

I know there are controlling men out there, however I know this is not DHs intention and I firmly believe that most people do it out of boredom habit/love.

If DH calls me to drivel on chat and I'm not free to talk, he calls his mum/brother/even my mum, to have a similarly inane conversation.

It is a symptom of 'modern times'. We are able to communicate 24/7, so we do. Some people are losing the ability to accept that a quiet moment can be just that. DH does work hard/long hours and I think he believes therefore that he has to 'fill' every spare moment.

It is annoying when you are busy, but not in most cases sinister.

Dh rings when he's in the car as he's incapable of just driving somewhere. It's very annying when he's just 5 minutes away, and telling me about what so and so said at the meeting can wait till he gets back. Particularly annoying when I have to stop doing whatever I'm doing in order to answer the phone.

Also (I've not been driving for the past couple of months so he's been doing the food shopping) - I make a shopping list, he "talks me through it so he can remember it all" (even though it's written down in a piece of paper ), then he has to ring me on the way to the supermarket "to run through it again", then he has to ring me from the supermarket "to talk me through what he's buying" then he has to ring me on the way home "to tell me what he's bought" and then I'm supposed to stop doing whatever I'm doign when he gets back to help him put stuff away. Drives me demented.

My friend's dh does this and phones her while she is at mine/out. In his case think is neediness, but is also controlling. He gets angry if she doesn't answer and phones repeatedly.

I work with someone who does this ,we share very small office and it drives me and my colleagues mad.My dh is the opposite we never speak in the day unless it is a dire emergency!He calls to tell his dw that he has arrived safely WTF and the. Again about 30 minutes later to see what her journey to work was like!Last week he became quite stress because she hadn't called by 3.35 to tell him how their son's day at school had been.It turned put he had a one off activity after school so she called. At 4.30.

I cannot work out whether he calls because she wNts him to or whether it's him driving it.Either way it drives me bonkers

See in Dozer's friends case, there is definitely an element of control.

Agree its about contol and neediness. Really relieved to hear other people get this and not just me. DH has a real problem with needing to know where i am and what I'm doing etc. Be warned, those of you in the early stages of this - get it stopped now or it will kill your relationship!

Have you asked him to stop doing it, rather than getting annoyed about it and moaning to us? That would seem a sensible first step, or maybe I am just dangerously confrontational?

I actually dont think mine is about control. He is on the road for his job and bored, with a lot of down time. We had a long distance relationship for a few years and sustained it so he hasnt got a control issue as far as I can see. He is just a nuisance lol.