Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In wishing dh didnt phone me every bloody minute of the day

40 replies

onlion · 25/03/2011 19:22

When I am home, I will be just getting into some fooling around on the net important work and he will phone, constantly. Its so annoying1
He also rings to see if I have get on with doing some task or something that needs doing in the day (most usually something for him) and the phone calls actually stop me getting on with them.

e.g phone rings
him: have you phoned about the xxx yet
me: no, Im just about to
him: well you need to as I need to know asap so I can sort thing out
me: yes, well I will as soon as you ring off
him : well make sure you do it
me; I will , when we are done

grrr

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/03/2011 19:25

Don't answer it. Or blow a whistle, very loudly, down the phone every time he calls.

Original poster
onlion · 25/03/2011 19:27

He just phoned me to tell me there is royal wedding memorabillia in LIDL Hmm

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/03/2011 19:29

What did you say? Hopefully something along the lines of "Shut up you boring little tit..." Angry

Original poster
onlion · 25/03/2011 19:30

Its ok, he is bringing the catalogue home.

does anyone else's oh do this?

OP posts:
Trifle · 25/03/2011 19:30

It;s a control thing, needing to know where you are every minute of the day. My friend's dh rings her 6 - 7 times a day to find out what she is doing, where she is going, with whom etc. By the time he gets home from work she just looks at him as she has nothing left to say.

You need to nip this in the bud otherwise it will get worse. Her dp isnt really interested in what she is doing, he just needs to know that she is at his beck and call. If she doesnt answer the phone he just rings and rings until she picks up. There is no let up.

Original poster
onlion · 25/03/2011 19:31

he never does it when I am at work though, just at home.

OP posts:
RevoltingPeasant · 25/03/2011 19:35

onlion, my dad used to do this to my mum. It got really extreme, esp after she got a mobile. And yes, it was also whilst she was at home, because whilst she was at work she was 'doing something important', and also because she had standard hours, he knew where she was....

It is a control thing. Step on it.

Original poster
onlion · 25/03/2011 19:36

hmmm, I will. Not having that!

OP posts:
SlightlyJaded · 25/03/2011 19:38

DH does this when he is bored.

Me: (covered in pasta sauce, loading dishwasher and overseeing a small war & simultaneous ballet concert in the kitchen) Hello?

DH: Hi. It's me
Me: Hi love

Silence (apart from the sounds of crying/hitting/sugar plum fairy/saucepans clanging from my end)

Me: What's up?
DH: Nothing really. What are you doing?
Me: clearing up lunch and trying to get a wash on. You?
DH: Waiting for blah de blah to come out of his meeting so we can though some stuff
Me: Oh right. Well I'm pretty busy now (aside: DON'T DO THAT TO YOUR SISTER. NO STOP! IT'S HOT!)
DH: Have you had a chance to look at car insurance companies. I reckon we could get a better deal.
Me: (through gritted teeth). No, not yet
DH: Oh I love this tune.

Silence whilst I am supposed to listen to the radio down the phone

Me: DS, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING! I really better go
DH: Yeah ok. So and so did confused.com for their car insurance. They saved loads. Or maybe it was the Meerkat one. Hang on I'll ask her.
Me: It's fine. You don't need to ask
DH: So will you look at it now?
Me: No. Actually why don't you?
DH: I can't. I'm really busy actually.
Me: Ok then, I'd better let you get on. Bye then
DH: Love you
Me: Yes love you bye
DH: So are you going to look later?
Me: SLAMS DOWN PHONE

repeat ad infinitum

Original poster
onlion · 25/03/2011 19:40

OMG slightlyjaded thats exactly what happens here

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 25/03/2011 19:42

My DH does it too! He phones for a chat because he's stuck in traffic and remembers things he forgot to tell me. I like it. It keeps me going sometimes, when I'm having a shit day, knowing that he'll be ringing me.

mychildrenarebarmy · 25/03/2011 19:43

SlightlyJaded Are you married to the same man as me? Shock

SlightlyJaded · 25/03/2011 19:46

I honestly don't think it's a control thing in my case. He doesn't hunt me down or demand to know where I've been/am going. He just phones out of habit when he has a moment.

He has a lot of moments Hmm

Georgimama · 25/03/2011 19:47

It sounds controlling to me too. He doesn't do it when you're at work because he knows where you are (you're at work). At home you could be doing anything. Can't have that.

Seriously, it's a niggly thing now and it may not be coming from a bad place (yet). But it needs to stop.

MaureenMLove · 25/03/2011 19:50

See, I think he doesn't do it when you're at work because he knows you're probably busy, BUT, as a man, he assumes you haven't got anything to do at home, so he calls you! Grin

He sounds very much like my DH and tbh, he phoned me far more when I worked from home as a CM, than he does now I work out of the home.

I think it's nice that he thinks of you a lot during the day!

RevoltingPeasant · 25/03/2011 19:51

Slightly, this is why text messages are your friend!

I remember pointless stuff I need to communicate to DP during the course of the day but I text which he can pick up at lunchtime/ whenever.

If either of us rings the other it's because something has come up which need to be dealt with then and there like booking a table for tonight.

SlightlyJaded · 25/03/2011 19:54

Revolting. But it's really not about communicating information. It's mindless chit chat.

Georgimama · 25/03/2011 19:54

See, I think he doesn't do it when you're at work because he knows you're probably busy, BUT, as a man, he assumes you haven't got anything to do at home, so he calls you!

I take exception to "as a man". Not all men need to know what their wives are up to at every moment of the day. Mine doesn't.

MaureenMLove · 25/03/2011 19:59

How is that suggesting that my DH needs to know what I'm doing all day? I didn't say that. He simply wants to talk to me. He's my husband, why wouldn't he?

ilovesooty · 25/03/2011 20:05

Why on earth would you need to talk to someone you'd seen that morning and were going to see again that evening unless you had something really urgent to communicate?

Georgimama · 25/03/2011 20:05

I'm still puzzling over why men would automatically think women aren't doing anything more interesting than waiting around for their call, which is what you seem to think.

Georgimama · 25/03/2011 20:06

well indeed ilovesooty. My husband only telephones me during the day, home or work, unless there is information we actually need to communicate that cannot wait.

littleducks · 25/03/2011 20:06

DH does this, it drives me insane.

IN fact in the time I have been reading this thread he has called and asked me to reboot his PC as he can do everything else from on remote desktop apart from that.

It isnt control....he just has alot of spare time

He does it to his mum to since his dad died, she loves it...Hmm

MaureenMLove · 25/03/2011 20:12

Oh come on, like it or not, there are many men who think that woman don't actually do much at home. I'm not suggesting that all men are like that, but it does happen! DH isn't one of those that think I do nothing at home anyway, I was just stating that some men do think like that!

DH is sometimes calling to say he wishes he was there with me and DD, spending time together. And FWIW, I am very happy to speak to my DH 3 or 4 times a day! We like to talk.

poochela · 25/03/2011 20:20

My DH does the same as slightly/onlion/mychildren etc.

It winds me up no end but I'm glad I'm the first person on his list when he's got five minutes to bore the pants of me about a load of nothing that really could wait till he gets home chat.

Swipe left for the next trending thread